UPDATE on Anna-Kate's arrival TOMORROW!

I'm so excited to announce that our sweet Anna-Kate will be born tomorrow, Wednesday, May 22, 2013, via c-section sometime before or around 12:30pm.

I know I have been in shock since last week when we found out and I had every intention of posting this post before the weekend but honestly, we have been in preparation mode ever since. There have been so much to do, clean, cook, ect. My brain has been spinning, and even today 24 hours before I need to leave, I still have so much to do and get done!

First her due date was June 12th. Then they said I could be induced June 5th. After finding out about the high bile acids (see below), they moved it to no later than May 28th. After the OB and peri discussed everything  on Friday am they decided not to wait any longer past 37 weeks, which is tomorrow! 

Also, I will post my final baby bump photos tomorrow morning before we leave and hopefully I will post about her birth by tomorrow evening.

Here's how we came to this: PLEASE NOTE, it was written on FRIDAY!

On May 16th, I went in for my 36w1d OB appointment. I was suppose to have a sonogram but when I got there they said since I was having on at the perinatalogists. I was really bummed but I understood. I asked the nurse to make sure she paid attention to my urine sample for blood since blood was in my urine last time. There was no blood this time. Weight was 158lbs. Blood pressure was great.

I met with Dr. A and he checked my cervix. All was just the same. A little effaced, not dilated. He also tested me for the Strep B. I asked if he got Dr. R's notes from when I went to Labor and Delivery and he said yes. I asked if he had seen the bile acid levels and he said he hadn't and would check them and come right back.

Well after another 10 minutes, and hearing him on the phone, I was told I was going to have a sonogram after all. I waited for another few minutes and Dr. A came in and told me the levels are in fact very elevated and things just changed. I got a little nervous. He said, no question I will deliver before 38 weeks, which is May 28th, or sooner, definitely no later.

So they did the sonogram for over 45 minutes. Amniotic fluid was high. She wasn't moving very much at all. She wasn't practicing her breathing. They tried everything to get her to move. Her heartbeat was perfect though. The sonographer just couldn't give me a passing score so off to Labor and Delivery I went. 

I must say her movement had definitely slowed in the last 24 hours and the weirdest part of all is that I wasn't, for once, having any contractions. That was the weirdest thing.

So I went over to Labor and Delivery around 5pm (my OB was at 2:30pm!) and got hooked up to the monitors to listen to her heartbeat and see if I was contracting, which I wasn't.

So I stayed about an hour and I got to go home. I had an appointment at the perinatologist for Monday, but after calling on Friday morning, they decided that I needed to come right in.

So I went in. Waited some more. Had the sonogram finally. Her stomach looked enlarged for some reason. She was weighing in at 7lbs 5oz. Limbs are still about two weeks behind but she looked really healthy, per doctors comments. She was breathing, moving and opening and closing her mouth. The amniotic fluid was in the normal range also. I also was able to get some photos of her, which make me really happy too!

So basically Dr. H got on the phone with my OB, Dr. A, and they both agreed that Wednesday, May 22, 2013 (37 weeks) will be delivery day at 12:30pm, via c-section. I was so bummed to hear it has to be a c-section but after reviewing the risks and talking with both doctors and friends, I agree that it is best for Anna and I. Really, I wasn't going to get a choice, it was already mandatory that I was having a c-section regardless, just too much risk for anything else. And if at anytime I feel less movement, I was told go straight to Labor and Delivery and they will delivery asap.

Of course I am thrilled beyond belief that in five short days I will be holding my fifth daughter in my arms. But I am also in shock that it's only five days away, I can't believe it. I have so much to do and so much to get done. I wanted her to be born early (safely), but I thought I would have had at least another week or so. With the high bile acids though, the doctors do not like a patient or baby to go over 37 weeks because of the still-born risks.

So this weekend it's prepare for baby Anna-Kate's arrival! Freezer meals, getting the house cleaned, putting all her stuff away and just overall getting ready for chaos in the next two weeks. I have to line up people who can hopefully help us out with the girls. Luckily my parents will be back from Hawaii on Sunday evening, but since they've been off for almost two weeks, they are going to be busy with getting back to work, so my help is limited to very few. We will make it work though! EKK!

Pregnancy #3, Baby #5: Weeks 32-36

Phew! I can't believe we are here already. 

Here I am today at 36 Weeks:

Please excuse no make-up and the exhausted look on my face!

THE END of this LAST pregnancy. 

THE COUNTDOWN is on!! 3 weeks to go from today, May 15th, 2013. I cannot believe it! 3 weeks or sooner and little miss Anna-Kate will be here!

I have moments where I think there is NO WAY I can make it for another 3 whole weeks, but then again, I think back to Emily and she took her sweet time and didn't come until 39w6d, so really I don't think she will be here any sooner than induction day in 3 weeks.

I am having A LOT of contractions. A LOT of pain. A LOT of pressure. I swear I can't remember ever having this much pain in my pregnancy with Emily, only with the triplets. I can't sleep. I feel like a whale when I roll over and I have to hold my breath it hurts so much. My liver is completely smushed up in my ribs again, just as it was with the triplets and that is causing me a lot of pain. (More on this below!) My feet are really starting to swell more and more each day. My hands are so numb and tingly on certain days when AK is on my left side pushing on a certain nerve. I have random pains down in my lower back and down my leg (mostly the left leg). I am so extremely exhausted this time around, way more than I can ever remember from my last two pregnancies. I wake up tired. I'm so weak and literally feel like I am going to collapse when I walk up and down the stairs. I am always completely out of breath. Almost every day I have a moment where I just want to cry, cry and cry. 

Still eating lots of sweets. Been craving lots of steak and cheese sandwiches and anything fried.

Belly button has been out for awhile.

Weight wise, I am at 158lbs (starting weight was 135lbs). Definitely the least amount of weight I have gained in any of my pregnancies.

Anna-Kate moves all the time. She has the hiccups on average about twice per day.

She is definitely still head down.

Very thirsty.

My husband would say I'm very cranky.

I have an OB Appointment with sonogram on Thursday, May 16th and I have my LAST perinatology appointment on Monday, May 20th.

Also, I have her crib ready to be set up in our bedroom, all her clothes are washed and put away. I have about ten more things on my to-do list that will get done this week and next.

My Visit to Labor and Delivery: 

May 4, 2013

All day on Friday, May 3rd, I couldn't eat, I was having really bad heart burn, pain in my top left side, I was super nauseous and by the evening I began really, really, really starting to itch on my feet and hands. I was so nauseous and even threw-up once. (I thought I was getting what Tim and the girls all had, so I didn't think much of it.) I have been having the itching on and off, but it got so bad that night I just couldn't sleep, I couldn't think, it was bothering me SO bad. Almost like panic-attack bothering me. I was taking tylenol and benadryl but it was driving me insane! Also every time I went to use the bathroom, my urine was VERY dark. Almost like tea colored. I knew something wasn't right and I remembered when I had the same symptoms when I was pregnant with the triplets.

So the first thing I did in the am was call the doctor. He, Dr. R (the one who delivered Ems) of course, wanted me to come into Labor and Delivery (and it was convenient since he was there that day!) to be checked and have sonogram of my liver, gall bladder, and also urine test and blood work done. Of course, this was the worst day possible for this. The girls were just getting over their viruses, Tim was SO sick and stuck in bed, barely able to make it to the bathroom, my MIL's hubby had just had shoulder surgery the day before, my mom was getting her hair done and my dad was at work. I felt like crap and had no energy, but just in time, my dad got off work, and was able to meet me at the hospital. (Not that I had to have someone come with me, but it's much better to wait with someone, then alone.) I put the girls down for nap and my mom would be up to our house before they woke up...amen!

So I was at the hospital and checked in at 1pm. We waited maybe five minutes and were brought back to Labor and Delivery Triage. Ironically, the SAME nurse, Carrie, I have had EVERY SINGLE TIME I have been in the triage. It's crazy! She is so sweet! She literally is one of the nicest and sweetest, young nurses I have had! She hooked my up the contraction monitor and within ten minutes of laying there, I started having hard contractions. Every two to three minutes. After every one, like clockwork, I would just look at my dad and say, "the doctor is not going to like this!" I was so afraid they were going to give me a shot of terbutaline. Yuck! Even though I have contractions ALL DAY and ALL NIGHT, I feel it confirms when I see them with my own eyes on the machine, it proves to me that I'm not exaggerating on how many I have and how close together they are. Honestly, there were a few minutes where I got a little anxious thinking maybe they aren't going to let me leave!

I went down for a sonogram and of course found out that my liver is "compromised" which just basically means it's very squished and therefore causing me pain. My gall bladder looked fine, thank goodness!

My blood work showed that my potassium was low (second time I have been told this during this pregnancy) and that my liver enzymes were elevated, but not as bad as it was when I was pregnant with the triplets. It's totally more common in multiple pregnancies but once you have it in one pregnancy, you are more likely to have it again. 

So I am back on the Ursidol (same thing I was on with the girls) and an anti-itch, which is helping me sleep too! I have forgotten to take the anti itch half way through the day and by the evening I am itching like crazy, so I know it's working wonders.

I also had my cervix checked due to the contractions, and all was good. Just a little effaced, not dilated any and my cervix is still pretty posterior. 

Oh, and they found that I had some blood in my urine and they aren't sure where that's coming from or why.

So, all and all, it wasn't too bad to get everything checked out and we were out of there by 4:00PM. I was super happy because I had a sewing class at 5pm and I wanted to make, which I did, just five minutes into the class. The other ladies, whom I had a class with just a few days earlier, were all joking saying, I bet she is in labor...and so they were actually shocked when they were I had just come from the hospital!)

Saturday, April 20, 2013: 32w2d: Always a Day to Remember!

With my pregnancy with Emily and now with Anna-Kate, 32w2d, marks a very special day to me. It was the day my pregnancy came to an end with the girls. It was a day that I thought perhaps I may never know the feeling of being pregnant ever again, surely not ever with triplets. I remember my feelings and emotions that day like it was yesterday. I remember crying hysterically and apologizing to the nurses and the anesthesiologist. 

Here's my 32-Week post when I was pregnant with Emily. My 32w2d Delivery Day post with the triplets, the photos are missing for some reason, so here they are, just in case you are a new reader or your forgot how much of a swollen, bloated whale I was at 200lbs the day I delivered the girls. Phew!!! Seriously, I don't think the photos do any justice to the way I was feeling, how big I really was, and how swollen my body was!

I don't think I have ever posted this photo...because I'm in my underwear, but really it's no different than a bathing-suit, so sorry if you have a problem with it! We were trying to get a Christmas card photo and I was hoping to not even have to put pants on, so we were trying to get the light right and such, so I just started playing around while Tim was getting the camera, lighting and everything ready...and I am so glad I have it, even as blurry as it is. I think it shows just how big I was six days before the girls were born.

That is one BIG belly...and my terb pump in my leg.

And now being 32w2d with Anna, I have mixed emotions once again. I know, for sure, that this is my last and final pregnancy, birth and baby. To an extent of course that does make me a little sad. I'm only 27 years old and to be done with pregnancies and births and babies, seems crazy, but I am so blessed to have a beautiful, healthy family; and that is really what matters the most to me. It seems that only a few short years ago, I was crying in my husbands lap, saying I would never be a mother, and yet I had no idea what God had planned for me. Tim and I have been so blessed to be able to have our children so close together and while we are young, which we are very thankful for. Lord, I don't know if I could have handled triplets, or 5 girls under 2.5 years old if I started having children at 35 years old. I am very thankful we are young and have the energy to care and run after our beautiful daughters. And, not to mention, enjoy life with them as adults with their families and children, God willing.

So as sad as I am to see my child-bearing years to come to an end, I am eagerly excited to meet Little Miss Anna-Kate in just 6.5 weeks. That seems crazy to think and say, but no matter what she will be here before June 6th! I am just trying to enjoy the last few weeks I have of being pregnant, feeling a life that my husband and I created inside my body. All the feelings, thoughts and emotions that come with being pregnant. Having that big belly stretched to it's max. Being uncomfortable and tired, it's all for such a short amount of time and so worth every moment. There are moments when I don't believe that this "is it", but be assured it is. By the end of the summer, we will have 200% protection against ever having another child, with a vasectomy and a hysterectomy, all within a few months of each other. 

On one aspect, I really want the induction on June 5th, but to be honest it does make me a little sad that I could have up to 2 more weeks of being pregnant that I am missing out on, with my very last pregnancy. I am choosing convenience over my own emotions, and I guess for good reasons. The sooner AK is born, the sooner I can start healing and preparing for the bigger issue on the table, no pun intended. I need to get those pre-cancer cells out of me asap! And, we have a very, very busy June planned with vacations, family visits, baby showers for my SIL, and much more, so having Anna-Kate be here already would be less stressful than just waiting for her and possibly missing out on some great family fun. So, I know the induction will happen, but I cant say I'm not a little sad that those last two weeks of pregnancy will never happen. If I had it my way, I would go into labor on my own before the induction and know it was meant to be...you hear that Anna-Kate...come out on your own and make your momma happy, happy, happy!

However, I must note that I am excited to start getting rid of stuff that comes along with little itty-bitty babies! All the bouncy seats, snap-and-go, breast pump, bottles, infant car seat...and clothes galore! I will have multiple closets and bins opened up and free of space! Whahoo, that makes me happy! More room to store "bigger girl" things. Ya know, barbies, dolls, doll houses, barbie houses, sports equipment, the list could go on and on with all the stuff that we already have and I freaks me out to think of all the stuff we will accumulate over the next few decades of raising little girls.

It's just on to the next chapters of raising our beautiful family after Anna-Kate joins us! I am glad to make it passed 32w2d and onto having a healthy, full-term baby girl!

Pregnancy #3, Baby #5: 30-31 WEEKS!

Today, April 11, 2013, I went to the OB. I am 31 weeks.

Weight: 150lbs...EKK! I remember hitting that number with the girls and thinking I will never ever be 150lbs unless I am pregnant (little did I know I was going to be just a few lbs shy of 200lbs on the day I delivered them.....SCARY!!!!!!!)! So, that's only 18-20lbs gained so far. Not too bad!

Heartbeat was clear. I never get tired of hearing that sweet sound.

Had another pap smear to check for cancer. This is the second to the last one I will have before this pregnancy is over. Hoping it stayed the same as last time, although if anything has changed and I have to deliver, it will be less scarier now delivering at around 33/34 weeks than it was before at 26 weeks! I will know the results in two weeks...wait, wait, wait! Hoping and praying it's all still non-cancerous!

AND....looks like I will be scheduling a VBAC (hopefully) induction for June 5th/6th. Super, super happy about that! I will be 39w1-2d at that point so everything should be perfect, unless I go into labor on my own before then. We have a VERY busy middle and end of June with trips/family visiting and such, so an early June delivery is what I am hoping for. So in the middle of May we can fully schedule it with the hospital, but that's what my OB said would be best. He is eager to deliver her as soon as she can because the sooner we do, the sooner I can have the hysterectomy. Think, 2 more months of pregnancy and then 2-2.5 months of healing before surgery, so it's really almost 4-6 months to go with hoping it doesn't one day decide to change to cancer! We got to get Anna here healthy and safe and just go from there on step two.

Anyway....

Belly button is definitely out now. It's lovely. I feel like by the end of the day my belly is going to just pop, even though I really don't feel that big yet.

AK moves all the time. She is very, very active. I feel most of the kicks, rolls, movement in the top region of my belly (belly button and above to the right and left).

Feeling very tired and weak. I walk up the stairs and I feel like I am going to just collapse. No lie, my heart beats like it's going to explode. I have no stamina at all, which is weird considering how much running around I do. {Note: that is NOT actual running..that I don't do.} My body aches by the end of the day and honestly feels like jello by the time I get into bed! I guess when I was pregnant with Emily, the girls weren't really walking and therefore couldn't run from me so quickly, so it was a lot easier (I didn't think so then though). They also couldn't talk back, have opinions and sure weighed less. Now, it's running after them from beating each other, telling me "no" and picking up one of them hurts my back and hips. It's definitely way more tiring this time around having "older" kids....but don't get me wrong the second most challenging time in my life (1st was NICU) was when I was puking a hundred times a day while trying to care for three 6.5 month olds! So, I'll take tiredness over that any day!

Still craving pretty much anything. Especially if I don't have it. I've been craving onion rings for weeks and haven't had any yet. Still eating a lot of sweets.

Heartburn is still there but I have managed it better with taking the anti-acid twice a day, not just once.

Here are re-cap photos, because I haven't done this once this pregnancy.

31 Weeks with the triplets, 29 Weeks with Emily and now 31 Weeks with Anna-Kate:

  

I go back in two weeks for another check/pap results and then again in two weeks from there, providing nothing comes back as cancer.

30w4d Preinatalogy Appt

On Monday, April 8th, I had my second-to-last perinatalogy appt! Whahoo! I have one more appt at 36 weeks and that's it! Happy Momma here!

Heartbeat was 144.

Blood pressure was perfect!

My cervix was 3.4.

All blood flow is looking perfect to and from baby. She was practicing breathing, and it was awesome to watch her diaphragm go up and down. All organs looked great, along with her heart.

AK is low, head down, with her butt just right of my belly button, which is exactly what I thought! She's smashed up against the placenta low, so I didn't get any photos! :(

Her estimated weight at this appointment was 3lb 8oz! Pretty good! 

As far as her limbs are concerned, she is doing a little better, Praise Jesus! Her arm bones are now measuring in the 18th percent, which is up from the 10th percent. Her leg bones are measuring in the 10th percent  which is up from the less than 5th percent. All of the bones have grown consistently, which is great. And even with her short limbs measuring about 2-3 behind everything else, her body and weight averaged her out to be 30w5d, which is AWESOME!!!!!!! 

Her head was measuring a little big and of course I started freaking out because I remember Dr. A saying that if anything he could possibly be concerned about it would be dwarfism.  So I thought, big head, short limbs...oh goodness. But after talking to the peri and the nurse, they both assured me that no it was not looking at all like dwarfism. Thank goodness, but of course, it wouldn't matter to us, she would be prefect no matter what. But I can't say that I wasn't happy to hear this. The peri said that when she's born, most likely I am not going to notice anything different on her than any other baby. He isn't concerned that she will be small in weight or size in anyway. She just may not be 5'8, she may only be 5'2 when she grows up, which is fine by us, as long as she is healthy and happy!!

The peri was also very happy to hear that Dr. A (OB) and Dr. B (cancer doc) was on board with doing the hysterectomy/lymph node biopsies at 8-10 weeks out from delivery. He assured me that it was the best option and I shouldn't settle for anything less than that!

So next appt is May 20th! The countdown will be on then!!! :)

Pregnancy #3, Baby #5, Weeks: 24-29

Week 24:

Lots of heartburn. As soon as I lay down in the evening, no matter what I've eaten, it gets to me immediately.

Peeing ALL THE TIME!!! I must pee ten times between 8pm and 8am. Buuutt, I do drink a lot of water all day, so it's expected, I guess.

Anna-Kate moves so much now! Oh my goodness, she is a little acrobat. My whole belly moves now and it's not just like some random kick, it's turning and dancing, swimming...every time I lay down. Super active in the afternoon and evening, until I fall asleep. I can feel her very low, which doesn't help my bladder. I feel like her head is right  on my bladder and it drives me crazy!! She'll kick me so hard and it honestly makes me jump.

Still eating a lot of sweets. Ice cream, especially. Almost every night. Eating a lot of Banana Nut Crunch cereal too, every morning. 

Still only have gained 9lbs. At 144lbs, as of 25 weeks, February 28, 2013.

I feel like I am growing an inch a day, belly wise.

Very dry skin.

Sleeping better and still having nightmares. Why do I always have nightmares when I am pregnant? (must be all the Dateline/CSI/48 Hours I watch each week...that may have something to do with it...)

Today is March 8, 2013, I am 26w1d.

SO SO SO tired. I swear every day I think I am more tired then the last. This little bean is taking all of my energy at every moment. I walk up the stairs and I feel like I am going to pass out....but that's every pregnancy I have had, so I guess I should expect it.

Getting more and more contractions each day. Some days I have more than I think I should. But I am not one to call or run to the doctor over something that I know is nothing. I also know it's totally normal to have some contractions as your uterus grows, and normally I just have a few more than that...so hopefully Little Miss will stay put for awhile!

All I can say is HEARTBURN, HEARTBURN, HEARTBURN!!!!!!! Oh my goodness!

Today is Thursday, March 14, 2013, I am 27 weeks. 

Today is Thursday, March 21 and I am 28 weeks. 7 MONTHS! Anna-Kate is moving all of the time. Doing flips, swimming, dancing, I don't know, but she is very active. I am getting more and more excited to have a "new" baby again soon! I just can't wait to see another miracle snuggled in my arms. What a blessing!

Today is Thursday, March 28 and I am 29 weeks! I cannot believe next week I will be counting down in the single digits until I meet this little one! I also promise to post a belly photo next week at week 30. To be totally honest, I haven't been taking many photos because  life is just so busy, it's the last thing on my mind, and normally if I do snap a quick phone photo, it's in a tank and jammie pants...not so appealing for the blog world.

The heart burn hasn't been as bad now that I am taking the anti-acid everyday. I just feel tired, weak, and burned out. I know it hasn't been that long since I was pregnant, but I do feel like it's definitely taken a different toll on my body this time around.

AK is a big mover. She is constantly kicking and turning. As of right this moment, in fact. Claire especially loves to put her hand on my belly and say "baby kicking". Melts my heart. Their words are just exploding these days...but Claire the most. She repeats EVERYTHING we say and is so verbal now, it's amazing. She also loves to say "baby titer" for baby sister and I swear it's so darn cute. Natalee also has become obsessed with babies, and she is fully aware of where Emily is at every moment. And if she doesn't see her, she is constantly asking "where my baby" or "where my bayboo". She LOVES Emily for sure, but sometimes has a strange way of showing it, like trying to rip her clothes off a million times a day! (I need to do an update on them all very soon, promise I will!)

So let's see what else can I document here....hmm....I am still craving sweets and still eating a lot. My belly button is completely stretched out but my stretch marks from the girls don't look like they are getting any worse, just there. My boobs are extremely heavy and full. I swear I could pump a gallon of milk out of them now. It's getting harder and harder to sleep, and my back is killing me. The nerve in my back that radiates down my left leg is beyond painful. I am constantly using the heating pad to help it and Tim is wonderful about massaging my back at least every other night, which is the best. But, honestly, I swear I have more contractions when and after he massages...just like when I had physical therapy with the girls. Contractions have actually slowed down, yes, I get them every single day and night, but nothing to worry about. I drink LOTS of water and always try to lay down when I can (haha) so it's bearable. Peeing a lot, like 8 times per night, but I contribute that to all the water I drink. I do drink A LOT of water.

The other day, I said, "can you believe it could be another 6-8 weeks and Anna could be here!?" Tim almost fell over. I can't believe it either, but I am so excited to meet her when the time does come!

I have an OB appointment with another pap smear next week and the following week I go back to the perinatalogist.

OB Appointment: 27 Weeks

March 13th, 2013 (27 weeks) - OB Appointment and Glucose Screening

Yesterday I had my Ob appointment. I drank the glucose on my way and had my blood drawn. Results in a few weeks.

Weight was 146lbs, so 11lbs gained at start of third trimester! :)

Talked to Dr. A about a few things:

1. The perinatalogist asked me if I had high-grade HPV with high-grade lesions/cells, and the answer is yes. It is the worst non-cancerous cells you can have before cancer. No where to go but to cancer.

2. I will have another colpo with a pap smear at 30 weeks and again at 35 weeks. If they at all show up cancer, then we prepare for delivery and do the hysterectomy then. Of course this isn't nearly as concerning to me as it was when I was only 24 weeks pregnant. I know Anna-Kate will be much healthier being born at most, 32 weeks (it takes up to two weeks for results to come back). And of course I will get the steroid shot for her lungs if I need to deliver early.

3. But as of now, the way it is, looks like around 8-12 weeks after Anna-Kate is born, I will have a hysterectomy. I will have a colpo and pap-smear six weeks after delivery and they will make a decision then. There seems to be a consensus now with all three doctors (OB, peri and oncologist). I am super glad about this. This is, after all, what I wanted from the beginning. Get it out of me. Take the fear away! 

4. I will not be a candidate for a vaginal or laparoscopic hysterectomy because it's involving cancer. Apparently the lymph nodes have to be biopsied and they can't do that any other way but "the old fashioned way". So the doctors (my OB and oncologist) will use my same scar from my c-section. I will most likely be in the hospital for 3-5 days in Baltimore, where the oncologist does his surgeries. So we are looking at late August or early September for the surgery, just depends when AK is born.

5. Hopefully I will be able to keep my ovaries and tubes. This way I don't go straight into menopause  Of course without having my uterus and cervix, I won't ever have a period again! :) I guess something good has to come from all this, besides not worrying about getting cancer!!

6. Regarding Anna-Kate's shorter limbs, the OB is not too concerned. First of all, ultrasounds can be wrong. Second, there is confirmation of a nasal bone, so he really thinks if anything it could be dwarfism. He also thinks she could just be short. Or maybe just a little behind in development. But since her limbs are growing and everything else on her is perfect, he really says I shouldn't worry. I am praying that is the case. I will be worried though, she is my littlest baby and I want her to be perfect. But no matter what she is will perfect to us.

7. There are no other genetic testing or testing of any kind that can be done now that is worth risking. We just have to wait and see once she is born, if anything stands out. Praying she is just perfect in every way!

It was a good appointment and I am glad I got a lot of my concerns and questions answered. I go back in 3 weeks (4/3) to the OB and 4 weeks to the peri (4/8). I don't see the oncologist until 6 weeks after delivery.

Thank you again for all the wonderful prayers and thoughts. I appreciate everyone of them! (Some of you who have left blog comments do not have an email attached to your profile, so I can't email you back to say thank you, so please know that you are appreciated!)

Pernatalogist Appointment: 26w4d

Monday, March 11th I had a perinatalogy appointment. I am 26w4d.

The scan went well. Everything looks good. Fluid is good. Cervix is good. AK is growing well. She is still on the small side. She is currently weighing 2lbs exactly. Oh and she is head up, just as I expected..I've been feeling those little feet dancing on my bladder!

In reference to her limbs, they are still measuring small. Her upper leg bone (from her hip to her knee) on both legs are measuring very small. Small, like not even on the normal curve, yet. Her lower leg bones (from the knee to the ankle) are measuring on the normal curve but in the less than 5 percentile. Both are concerning. Both legs are measuring the same, so that is at least consistent. Arm bones are the same. In the low percentile but on the normal curve. 

Again he asked me how tall I am. How tall is my husband. How tall are our other girls. Again he asked if the genetic screening came back normal.

He doesn't have any answers as of now. He compared it to Emily's growth at this point in my pregnancy with her and she was growing normally. He said it is good that AK's limbs are all growing still. They are measuring longer than at the last scan, just not normal for gestational age at this point (it's about two weeks behind).

Of course this isn't what I wanted to hear, but still it's not the worse. I am rejoicing in the fact that she is healthy and like I have said before, if she just is a little shorter, no problem!

Here are some photos of our sweet little AK:

They couldn't get any good 3D photos because she was head up with her hands in front of her face.

As for the pre-cancerous cells. We talked long about that and I was glad to hear another doctor's opinion. He said hands-down, I should have a hysterectomy after AK is born. He said if it was his wife, at 27 years old, with five kids, 100% he would suggest a hysterectomy. He asked me a few more questions about the type of cells and lesions that were found and when I find out the answers tomorrow at my OB appointment, I will share.  I really was surprised and glad to hear that I am not crazy wanting a hysterectomy. Wanting this fear gone. The risk of cancer will never completely be eliminated but it will be a lot better! He said there is no reason to keep my cervix/uterus at all, especially since we are not having any more children. 

He also said that I could be a candidate for a vaginal hysterectomy, which would be awesome. Less time in the hospital, much better recovery times, less expensive and with four toddlers and a newborn (well a little one who is 2-3 months old) that is breastfeeding, I hope to have something that is easy then completely open surgery! We will see, and I will have to keep discussing everything with my OB and the oncologist.

Also, the nurse doing my scan heard what oncologist I saw and when I was mentioning his bed side manner wasn't the greatest and how he made my husband feel stupid for asking questions, she said she used to work for him and knows exactly what I meant. She said that he is a great doctor and one of the best in the local area related to oncology. I was again glad to hear this, because now I've heard it from two different people, both in the medical field. 

By the time most of you are reading this, I will be at my OB appointment and doing my glucose test. I'll share details on Thursday.

Meeting with Oncologist

Yesterday evening I had my appointment with the gynocological oncologist - March 5, 2013. 

To say his bedside manner was cold, is an understatement. He never introduced himself. He never shook my hand, or my husband's. He barely even made eye contact with me. He was at some times, down right rude to my husband and I. He looked at Tim when he asked a question and pretty much barked at him for not understanding how you get cervical cancer...I seriously couldn't believe it. I was very polite and although he may not be as warm and cuddly as I had hoped for, I hope he is a good doctor. He warmed up a little bit through the appointment, but not much. 

So, anyway, he asked me a million and one questions, in which I gave him an extensive look at my history. He got a little attitudinal when he would ask me a question that pertained to when I was younger and had to turn the page he was writing on back over to add it. See what I mean. He literally acted like I was a bother and that wasn't too comforting when I am talking about the possibilities of having CANCER!

He stepped out for a few minutes and then came back to do the colposcopy. Hurt. Hurt. Hurt. One of the worst I've ever had. I didn't think after talking with him for 20 minutes that he was going to be the most gentle and I was right. He was a little nicer and I know he was just trying to get a good look, but OUCH! He said there was just a lot of pressure and discomfort because I was pregnant and my uterus is bearing down on the cervix and he is on the other side pushing against the cervix. I understood that and I wanted him to get a good look. 

Basically he said the dysplasia is very deep and for as far as he could see, especially on my right side. He was very clear that there is a lot of abnormalities. He said absolutely something needs to be done after I give birth to AK in order for it not to develop into cancer. He also said that the pregnancy hormones do make the cancer more susceptible to growing because it compromises your immune system. 

He will not do any biopsies during pregnancy unless absolutely necessary.

At this time he does not think I need to deliver AK early for any reason, unless it comes back at cancer at any time. Then things chance, just as I have been told. He couldn't give me and statistics on how likely it is to develop now {or later}. Nothing can be done when I deliver her {vaginally or c-section} and I will have to wait at least 8 weeks after birth to have any type or procedure or surgery. He said breastfeeding will make me heal slower so he will prescribe some medication to help me heal faster, since I do plan on breastfeeding again. 

As to what type of procedure or surgery I will have, we will have to wait to make the decision. He said a hysterectomy is not out of the question. Could be a leep procedure, a cone procedure or a few others. We will just have to wait and see what the pap smear, colposcopies and biopsies show after I give birth. But I am glad to know that something will be done!

He also said that even a hysterectomy does not completely cure my of possibly getting cervical cancer, just as I have read. It can come back decades later in the form of other cancers.

All and all I got most of my questions out by keeping his one foot in the door and mostly got good answers. I am praising God that I can hopefully keep AK in until she reaches full-term! And I will continue to pray that nothing changes between now and the end of summer when I have some sort of procedure to stop the cancer process. He wouldn't even talk about what happens if it goes to cancer. He only said hysterectomy and radiation, but we will cross that bridge when/if that happens.

Thank you again for all the prayers and support. I so appreciate it.

Next week I will be discussing this all with my pernatalogist (Mon pm) and my OB (Wed am).

Update/Results

I don't know what else to call this post, but an update, so that's what I am calling it. 

First, once again, thank you so much to so many of you (on blogger and not) who have reached out to me and our family. Your words mean more to me than I can explain. I appreciate each and every one of you and your thoughts and prayers for me and our family. 

Yesterday, I finally caved and called the OB. Ya know, not to beg for results (okay, maybe a little!) but because I needed a prescription refill called in. So, I left a message. Not even five minutes later the number showed up on my caller ID. Thank goodness Tim was sitting there. I said, "oh goodness, it's Capital Women's Care!" I picked up and the first thing I heard was that it was, in fact, Dr. A. My heart literally sank. I was so scared. He has NEVER called, always the nurse. I knew right then and there. He said that he had received my results the day before and was searching to find an oncologist for me to go to that took my insurance. My heart sank even more. In those few seconds, maybe a minute, I thought the absolute worse.

Then he slowly started explaining to me what the pap smear said. He told me the cells and the lesions that he found. He explained to me that it still is high-grade pre-cancerous cells and lesions, and told me the differences between the ones that were found. He explained to me that apparently what they are also finding are cells and lesions that are supposed to grow inside the cervix, not on the outside. He said he didn't know if this was because I am currently pregnant or not. He said it is concerning and he wants me to see a gynocological oncologist as soon as I could. 

Numerous times he talked about terminating the pregnancy, which would of course result in a live birth at this point...but still using the word, terminating..not so comforting! Even though this is still an option, it doesn't look like it will be any time in the next few weeks, AMEN! Every week that goes by is a true miracle....and I have been down this road before with the triplets. I asked him about getting the lung shot for AK and he said that would probably happen. I really think that helped the girl's lungs be as strong as they were for 32w2d at delivery. They barely had any respiratory issues, thank God! I started receiving the lung shots at 26 weeks, I believe, up until the night before delivery. 

So basically, I could very well be having AK early if the pernatologist and oncologist believe it is the right thing to do. There will be A LOT of questions asked to both of them. Most likely either the oncologist or my OB will do colposcopies with pap smears and/or biopsies every month until AK is born and of course if at any time it comes back cancer, we go from there. If it still stays the same, then we make plans to do something after AK is born. Very soon after.

I feel good about where I am now. I feel good about the knowledge I have gained over the last two weeks from help of family members, doctors in other areas and my own research. I feel like I know more and I have more under control. 

I was so worried about having to deliver AK so soon, but I just don't think that is what's going to happen in the next four to six weeks. AMEN!

So, my appointment with the gynocological oncologist is on Tuesday evening. I have my list of questions I am preparing and hoping to get some more answers. 

Again, thank you so much for the prayers and thoughts! I so appreciate it! I will update again on Tuesday evening or Wednesday morning.

Cervical Cancer

To be honest, I don't even know where to start this post. Or where to go with it. It's been on my mind for sometime now and I feel like I just have to get it out. I'm not one to keep secrets or things to myself.

I have so much on my mind, it's hard to even put the words to paper. But I need to write. This is my outlet. This is how I cope. Not everyone will understand that, but I don't care. This is my blog and my choice to put my fears, my anxiety, my struggles, everything, out there.

So here goes...I apologize for the length of this post and others that will follow.

Since I was about 19 years old, I have had abnormal pap-smears. Every single year. Year after year. And so each year, I then have colposcopies with/without biopsying parts of my cervix. I have these done each year, while pregnant or not. They aren't fun, but I am used to it.

As I have talked about before, I had abnormal menstrual cycles from the time they started, endometriosis and many surgeries to help me increase my chances of having a baby. Ultimately IVF, I believed, cured me from that horrible disease.

But each year, I worry that my pap smear will be worse than the previous year. And this year (technically last year) that fear came true. Right now, my cervical cells have gone to the highest form of non-cancerous abnormal cells that a woman can have before cancer. I was surprised, but I knew this day might come. To have the highest grade of abnormal cells, where there is no where to go but to cancer, is a little scary. Okay, it's very scary. I'm 27 years old and I have five young children. I do not want to have cancer!

Tim and I spoke in length with my OB at each appointment and he had a lot of information to give me. I'll try to sum it up. Not to overwhelm anyone, I just want this for my own reference, memory and to document this journey. Basically from the lowest level of abnormal cells to the highest level of cancer, on average, takes about 10 years. From the highest level of abnormal cells (me) to the lowest form of cancerous cells, on average, is about 2-3 years. This is where I am at. Again I have had these abnormal cells for 10 years, but this is the first time it's been the highest grade of pre-cancerous cells. My last pap-smear before this past one was after I had Emily.

So this past Monday I had my colposcopy. I didn't have any biopies and my cervix didn't scream "CANCER" but there are a LOT of abnormalities, way more than even a year ago, which the same OB did, so he had a reference to go on a year ago. He did another pap-smear and I am waiting for results. We talked in length about what happens if it does come back cancerous. Apparently the cells can change very quickly. My pap-smear that showed the highest grade of abnormal cells was on December 24, 2012 and there can be significant changes in just one month, apparently. 

He talked a lot more about cancer after doing the colposcopy then he did at my other appointments, which I am trying not to read into, but of course I am.

So I wait. And wait. Most likely it will be a few weeks before we know what will happen. Of course, let me explain some more details as to what would follow. 

If it comes back as cancer, my life will take a drastic change. For starters I will have to deliver Anna-Kate via c-section "very quickly" as my doctor stated. He kept saying "things will move very quickly if it's cancer". If it keeps coming back as highest grade of non-cancerous cells throughout my pregnancy then we will make our decisions as to what to do when Anna-Kate is born (I'll explain more below). Of course this is best case scenario, and what we are praying for. But if at anytime my cells change to cancer during my pregnancy, she will need to be delivered and I will have a full hysterectomy. 

Of course this is extremely scary. EXTREMELY SCARY. I'm freaking out to be honest. I am trying to be optimistic and not think worst case scenario, but I am also trying to be realistic and not naive to the whole process. We all are guilty of thinking at some point in our life, that "it won't happen to me"...but the truth is, anything could happen to any of us. It's hard to hear, "there's a likely chance you have cancer, and your baby might have to be born at 28 weeks but you have to wait for results for a few weeks" and then go on like nothing is wrong. Go on with your life, when your life could be changing more than you ever thought possible in two weeks. 

I'm scared. I'm worried. I'm fearful. It's unsettling, hard and emotional. Cancer. We're talking about cancer. I am 27 years old for goodness sake! Lord, I don't know what to feel or what to think. Like I said, I am trying to not think about it, but honestly, how do you do that? I fell like I am not talking about me, not me, someone else. I look at my girls and it makes me sad. I feel Anna inside of me and I am sad. The scary possibilities that everything could change in just a few simple weeks. I don't know what the future holds and waiting is not fun. I am not a patient waiter.

Thinking my unborn daughter's life is possibly at risk. Thinking my life is at risk. Of course I want the best for Anna-Kate and I will fight with every being in my body to keep her in me as long as I can, but I have to follow what my OB and oncologist suggest. They are the doctors, not me. Serious NICU time, possible issues for life, a baby smaller than my Natalee...that is SCARY and frankly I don't want any of that! I know what I want isn't what always happens, so I know the only thing I can be assured of is that God has a plan here. I would hate for anything to happen to her because of me. There are just so many thoughts. I am preparing my list of questions for if it is cancer and it literally makes my mind spin in anxiety. Do I need radiation, kemo...what's the protocol? Can my baby stay in for a few more weeks or will the risk be too high for me? The list goes on and on.

And then if it isn't cancer, after Anna-Kate is born, I have a lot of choices to make. Invasive surgeries are most likely what I am looking at. I will be going to see a gynecological oncologist to look over my options. I do not want to look back next year or the following year and say, I wish I would have/could have...and I chose not to. That will not be me. I told my OB I wanted to do something that will give me the best chance of not getting cancer, of course. Unfortunately there isn't anything that can completely "cure" me of possible cancerous cells. Even a full hysterectomy will not confirm that I will never get cervical cancer (I didn't know that at all!). The cells can grow other places even without having a cervix!

There isn't much research/statistics on how many women have abnormal paps that develop into cancer versus those who don't ever get cancer. So, it's hard to say. I have found some research but not enough to narrow down (in my mind) my possibilities.

It boils down to the fact that I have five beautiful children and we are not planning on having anymore. Therefore I do not care to "keep" my cervix, but the OB at this time thinks that there are less invasive things we can do that will reduce my risks of cervical cancer than taking it out..unless of course it turns to cancer at anytime. Like I said, I will be going over the options before we make any decisions. I don't want to opt for the invasive surgery/procedure because it's easy or most accepted, I want to reduce my chances of developing cancer the most I can, and as quickly as I can.

So, if you would, I just ask for you to keep me in your prayers. I know the power of prayer, God is good! That would be most appreciative. As soon as I know something, I will update. 

Pregnancy #3, Baby #5: Weeks 20-23; and a Concern

Weeks 20-22:

Everything has been going really well. Definitely expanding more. Weight is 142lbs (up from 135lbs). Feeling Anna-Kate more and more as each day passes. She loves to be active in the evening, just like all of her sisters did.

I was having a hard time sleeping, but that has improved in the last week or so.

I also have had a lot of heartburn this time too, as with all my pregnancies.

Dealing with dry skin (but that could be the winter weather). 

Craving alllllllllll sweets! I swear, I am eating ice cream every night! It's terrible, but it's an excuse to get some more calcium, am I right?!

Today is Wednesday, February 12th, and I am 22w6d. 

Monday, I had a pernatology appointment. I didn't know if I want to share the experience I had on our blog, but I like to be honest and not hold things back that really happen, and this is a document of my pregnancy with Anna. So, I went into the room, normal scan but the sonographer was looking at everything and I thought it was just a little strange since I had already had my anatomy scan weeks ago. She was literally counting each and every finger and toe, looking and measuring every brain vessel, bone, just everything, very, very, very thorough. Next the doctor came in, {same peri I had with my pregnancy with Emily, so he knows me and my history very well} and he did a scan too and said, "she is beautiful!" Heartbeat was 152 bpm. She was moving and kicking and looked perfect! The nurses then did the cervical check and all was fine with that. Cervix was 3.2. Then she said the doctor will be back in. Why was he coming back in, I thought? 

So he came back in...said, "I want to do a scan.." and I said, "you know you already did one, right?" (thinking maybe he forgot what room he was in) and he said he knew and wanted to look at something. Okay....

So he started the scan and went immediately to her leg bones, specifically, the bones between the knee and ankle. He measured the bones. Then asked how tall my husband was. I said 6'2. And how tall am I? I said 5'8. How tall are your other girls? I said, they are tall too. Emily was just measured in the 75th percentile for one year olds. He then moved to the arms and measured them. Then he looked more clearly at her face and said, clearly I see a nasal bone, so that's good. I was really confused.

Finally, with my heart in my throat, I asked, is something wrong!? The doctor finally explained that Anna is measuring very small in her limbs. Let me first say that this can be completely normal. She is very healthy and growing appropriately for gestational age. But as it shows right now her legs are measuring in the 7th percentile and her arms in the 10th. He said, they then look for the nasal bone, to rule out certain things such as down syndrome and of course, my blood work from the first trimester. He said to call my OB and make sure the blood work was all normal, which it was. Amen. Anna clearly has a nasal bone and every other perfect body part.

He said basically we just have to wait until the next peri appointment in 4 weeks, March 11th. Once again, he said this could all resolve before the next appointment. And that she may be just be a smaller baby then of others (let's hope of course, that she isn't small like the triplets were!) and may not be as tall as them when she grows up. Of course we are praying and hoping for everything to be just fine and if she's a little shorter than her sisters, well that's just fine! :) 

Of course it isn't settling to hear that anything could possibly be wrong with your child, but I am being optimistic. I really can't make anymore conclusions until the next appointment, and each appointment after that, we will know more and more. But no matter what I still feel a little uneasy.

All I know for now and what I have to have faith in, is that my sweet baby girl that is growing inside of me, is doing just fine and even if she has shorter limbs, she is still strong enough to be kicking the heck out of me everyday...and each time she does, it's making me smile! :)

And here are some photos taken at the appointment (22w4d):

Today, I am 23 weeks and feeling good! I didn't get much sleep last night, but that's to be expected when your belly is growing and it's getting more uncomfortable. I miss sleeping on my belly so.much!!!!!!! Other than that, all is good. Anna-Kate is moving so much and kicking me all evening! I love it and I will miss never having this feeling again...but I feel so blessed that I got to experience it three times over! 

Here is a photo at 23 weeks (and 1 day) of the growing belly I feel like I am carrying much higher this pregnancy, even though the doctors keep saying she is VERY head down:

Hoping the next 17 weeks go super smooth!

Pregnancy #3, Baby #5: Weeks 18-20

Today is Thursday, January 17th and I am 19 weeks today. The past week has been difficult to say the least. Last Tuesday morning I woke up with a little more nausea than I am used to and I knew something just wasn't right. I spent all day trying to fight it and finally by the evening, it was all over. I kept trying to eat, thinking the nausea was just morning sickness all of the sudden starting at 18 weeks, but boy was I wrong. The next few days were pretty bad. Terrible headaches, extreme nausea, vomiting, it wasn't pretty. I never had a fever that I can think of, just the occasional chills/sweats. By Thursday night, I couldn't even keep broth or water down, so I knew I needed to go to the hospital. 

At the ER they gave me two bags of fluid, some benadryl and a different anti-nausea then zofran. The zofran was giving me terrible migraines and was just making me more sick. After 7 hours, all I wanted to do was go home and get in my own bed. The fluids really, really helped me and even though I didn't eat much the next two days, I was starting to feel better. By Sunday, I was back to eating full meals and only felt a little nausea in the evening. The headaches have continued some in the evening also, but nothing like when I was sick. I don't know what it was, possibly a touch of the flu. I never felt bad, just had bad symptoms that sucked! When you are constantly throwing up and can't keep anything down, your body gets so tired and weak and I really think that was the worst part. 

But this week, I am feeling much better.

Tuesday, January 15 I had a perinatalogist appointment. All was good. Heartbeat was 155. The gender was once again confirmed! 

On Monday, January 21st I had my OB appointment. This was the first time I had seen my OB since after Emily was born. I have only seen a midwife until then. He wasn't surprised we were back so soon! :) See post here on appointment.

Today is Thursday, January 24th and I am officially 20 weeks! HALF WAY BABY! Also, 3 weeks until viability week! Amen! Feeling great this week. Feeling Anna-Kate move more and move, especially in the evenings while watching TV. Love that so much! Also, I can't believe in TWO days Emily will be ONE! EKK!!!!

20 Weeks: OB/Sono Appointment

January 21, 2013, (19w5d) I had my 20 week OB appointment and sonogram. Definitely confirmed a girl again. 100 percent! Both sonograms last week and this week, Anna-Kate has her little ankles crossed. It's seriously the cutest thing ever because all of her older sisters constantly cross their ankles. She is currently about 10 ounces and growing perfectly fine! Due date is still set for June 12th.

The photos we got aren't really worth sharing. They are blurry and not clear...and they didn't look much different than last weeks photos.

My weight is only up 6lbs half-way through! I was 138lbs, up from starting weight of 132lbs.

Dr. A was totally not surprised to see us back. Hehe, his hair was more gray than I remembered a year ago. He was super nice and we talked for a long time, although I didn't get to say much since most of the conversation was surrounding the Eagles/Flyers/Phillies with my husband. Men and their sports teams.

I did make the decision that if I have to have a c-section (praying NOT to) for some reason or another, I will have my tubes tied. Even though Tim is getting a vasectomy very soon, we want to further our chances of NOT having anymore children. :)

This week I have felt Anna-Kate more and more. Each night she is definitely growing and moving and kicking around much more....and not only can I really feel it now, I can see it on the outside of my belly too. I just love love love feeling my sweet little bean moving around in my belly. There is NOTHING better! So blessed! There is never a day that goes by that I don't thank God for my beautiful daughters and the one in my belly!

Our Fifth Daughter....

will be named....

Anna Katherine

This time around we haven't fought over our daughter's name at all, with the exception of a few little things. This is how we came to naming our fifth and last daughter,

 Anna Katherine.

I wanted something with an A.

We loved Anna, Annie, Abby, Anabelle, Amelia and Abigail.

I still loved Leah and Caroline. But we have a daughter with a "C" initial and for some reason I stopped thinking of Leah. Oh, probably because when I said, "what about Anabelle", Tim said "that's it, that is our daughter's name!!!" And I was like, wait a minute there! I wasn't totally sold on Anabelle.

So we compromised. I said I really like just Anna. And Tim said OKAY!

Katherine is my Grandma's sister's name. I have very fond memories of going to her house when my grandma would babysit my sister and I and she made little puppet dolls and we would play with them each time we went to her house. I can remember it like it was yesterday. She was a really sweet lady and a great cook. She was ten years older then my grandma and so when they were young she took care of my grandma a lot.

I still really like Abigail and I loved Amelia, but Tim says he isn't budging on Anna, so Anna it is. Amelia sounded too much like Emily people said. I don't know, I don't hear the similarities, but whatever.

And so just like that our daughter's name was born.

Anna Katherine Gaydos

-- AKG --

We plan on calling her Anna-Kate and of course just Anna. We will see. I didn't want her middle name to only be Kate, even though I love the name Kate, because I felt it wasn't enough, so Katherine is perfect!

I love how Anna Katherine is still an old-fashioned name but still pretty modern. That was my goal with all of our girls names. 

Madelynn Christine

Claire Elizabeth

Natalee Lynn

Emily June

Anna Katherine

Simple, beautiful, unique names for our precious five daughters. And all middle names are after women on both sides of our family. It's just perfect. I hope all our girls realize how much time and effort and thought we put into naming them each as individuals. 

I couldn't have imagined God had such a perfect family in my future. I am so blessed.

Our daughter. Anna-Kate. She completes our family.

We can't wait to meet you little one!