Infertility may be the most difficult time of not only a womans's life but her partner's also, in every way, spiritually, emotionally, financially, physically and mentally. Here are just a few things Tim and I cam up with last night when I was on a rampage of a pissed off nature!
What Nobody Told You About Trying to Conceive...That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
That you would see your OBGYN/RE more often than your husband at O time.
That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
That when you see a 15 yer old in the mall with her infant, you want to secretly take her out and steal her baby because you know that you could do a much better job raising that baby then she could ever do! And how could God give her a baby and not me???
That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm!!!!
That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month!
That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant and you HATE when people tell you this!
That you have no control over some of the goals you set...no matter how hard you pray!
That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!
That one day my husband would know so much about how my uterus functions and what it looks like from the inside (thanks HSGs).
That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
That miscarriage is so common and way more common than people think.
That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy, bringing out a person that I don't like to be.
That I wasted ALOT of money on Birth control pills for WAY too long!!
That I would EVER be willing to stick a little yellow pill up my hoo-haa (progesterone pill...done vaginally), or that I'd EVER be willing to stab myself in the stomach or @ss every day in the hopes that it will help get me PG.
That it wouldn't happen the first time you didn't use birth control like we were led to believe in school.
That you wouldn't know how important a baby was to you until it took so long and you realized what you were willing to go through to make it happen.
That my husband is the most wonderful and caring man and way more patient then me!
That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
That women who do get pregnant are so very blessed!
That I would be happy to see abundant cervial fluid and tell my husband about it.
That other people's "good news" of pregnancy makes me sad and when they tell me they have good news, I hope that they just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to Geico.
That medicine and procedures are not a sure way to get pregnant but it is a sure way to lose money fast.
That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my house in Aruba by now.
That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid!!!!!!!
That having flo show up makes you cry, no matter where you are.
That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
Feeling like you wish your life away in 2 week increments.
That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.
That a group of "strangers" who I will probably never meet, have now become my "best friends" when it comes to ttc.
That infertility is more common than you think.
That one day all of this will make us stronger.
That there is sometimes darkness (infertility) before the light (a baby).
That no one I know (besides God) would have any understanding as to how I feel.
That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
That my faith in God would be tested heavily.
That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we all suffer from the same affliction of infertility.
That I am very bitter towards unmarried accidental pgcys, and slightly bitter towards married accidental pgcys.
That there is nothing to aid conception in the water at work, despite what some may say.
That I'd be glad to know that I have endometriosis - because at least I know what's wrong with me.
That I could spend so much time and money on figuring out what my body is doing (or not doing).
That I would have to rely on doctors to give me the final say-so on what I can or can't do (on a med/procedure break forced by my RE against my wishes).
That foreplay would consist of my husband asking "How's your cervix today" or asking my Nurse if it's "the week yet".
That one person/couple could be "cursed" with so many different fertility problems.
That I should have become a gyno-which I think at this point I know more then some.
That some people just say the wrong things.
That a simple blood test costs $648! And they make you get 3-5 a cylce!!!
That sex would ever become a chore!
That I would resent someone who has been trying less time than me telling me "I know how you feel..."
That my husband would be overly concerned that our BD positions were the most effective ones!
That when my husband and I are babysitting our friend's children, all we think about is when this will be our life for real!
That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have.
That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!
That I would be so sad, and ashamed.
That I would be sick of explaining what endometriosis was to those who have no clue!
That your friendships with your real life girlfriends would suffer because they got pregnant after being off the pill for 3 weeks.
That this would be, by far, one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through.
That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.
That people would pity you and feel sorry for you.
That I would be going to a psychic to find out if there was a baby in my future!
That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.
That I would stop fantasizing about having a baby because it stopped making me happy.
That I would hear well-meaning questions like: "Have you thought of taking your temperature?"
That I would watch a Baby Story every day... only to cry every day.
That it puts this much strain on a marriage.
That I would cringe at getting free packs of diapers, coupons and cans of formula in the mail...asking God, why this again? Really?!
That I spent years trying not to get pregnant, and praying for my period.
That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.
That I would yell at commercials on the TV (that "having a baby changes everything" one really gets to me. I can't watch it without snapping "So does not having one.")
That your body has its own mind.
That you would cry your eyeballs out b/c AF showed.
That you would be jealous when everyone around you get pg including your mentally-ill 17 year old client who can't even put clothes on a doll!
That the broken heart you feel each month that is equal to a lot of pain.
That you feel useless as a female.
That you feel that your body has betrayed you by not delivering a regular cycle, the right about of the required "hormones" or doing what it should now how to do.
That you feel stupid and naive for thinking a pregnancy would occur "when it was supposed to".
That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.
That not being able to get work done all day because your reading "early pregancy symptoms" after you just O'd last night...on the same websites that you scan every month hoping you might feel something you didn't before.
That you think about a baby more times than your husband thinks about sex.
