Surgery Details/Recovery/Pathology Report

---This first part I wrote the day after my surgery, October 10th. ---

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the comments, emails, thoughts, prayers, texts in the past few days...I truly, truly appreciate it!

I am out of the hospital and recovering at my parent's house. I had thought about coming to my parent's house to recover and then decided against it and to just go home and be with my family. Well considering how bad I've been, it was very nice to come to my parent's house to recover for a few days. I plan on going home tomorrow (Sat), although I wish I could stay here for a week. Okay, maybe not really, I do miss my girls but gosh it's so quiet, and peaceful here. I'm in my old room, in my old bed. It's like I'm fifteen again, although they're are no *NSYNC posters on the walls. ;) I must say it's been really nice. My mom and dad are spoiling me and taking very good care of me.

So here's what's been going on the past few days.

They changed my surgery time from 10:30am to 12:30pm, so it was nice not to have to leave until after the girl's woke up in the morning. Monday and Tuesday I was very busy getting everything ready. Tuesday I had my "bowel prep" and was on a liquid diet. It was horrible. I had to drink TWO 10 ounce bottle of magnesium citrate. All I can say is HOLY HELL that was the worst stuff on the entire planet. It was like drinking  acid, burned my mouth and throat. So I never went to bed on Tuesday night. I was WIDE awake all night and mostly just got stuff done around the house and then decided to go grocery shopping at 4am. I must say Walmart was interesting at that hour. No one was there and all the shelves were neatly stocked. I felt like I was in the twilight zone a little bit. Kinda weird with no one in the store. But I got all my shopping done and came home, cleaned some more and anxiously waited around.

I had one of our NICU nurses, and now a very good friend of mine watch the girls for us during the day of the surgery. I can't explain how wonderful it is to know, without a doubt that your children are in good hands. How peaceful it makes your heart. Not just anyone can take on five little girls!! I am so thankful for Stephanie in so many ways! She is such a blessing!

The hospital is about 1.5 hours away, so my mom met us and followed us over. The nurses got me settled in and started prepping me. When they were doing my IV, the nurse said that she actually had to do two IV's because I was having "robotic" surgery, which I did not know. Of course my heart started racing a little bit and I got a little more nervous. The nurses were so sweet though, I must say. They found this other nurse and called her over. She had the "robotic" surgery last year and said it was great. It is less invasive and faster than if it's done "by hand". Interesting to say the least. They said the surgery would be 3-4 hours. My wonderful husband kept asking "but what if the robot gets a mind of it's own and takes out your liver instead, or your heart, or"... Supportive, I tell ya! He is always good at making me laugh, but he takes it to the extreme. God love him. And then the waiting began. And we waited. And waited. 12:30pm came and went. 1:00pm, 2:00pm. Finally I was moved to the place you go right before you go to the OR, and a lot of people came in and went out. The doctor walked in and I have to say he was very nice. Much nicer than in the past. He actually put me at ease. We talked about all the possibilities and such. What he would do if he needed to take the ovaries. What he would do if he came across cancer. What he would do if he came across endometriosis. All the possibilities.

So finally they wheeled my bed to right outside of the OR. I said my final good-byes to Tim and my mom and in the OR I went. It was a pretty big OR and it was freezing of course. The anesthesiologist was a young girl and she was nice. I laid down and started talking to her. Of course it had spread through the hospital at the speed of a hurricane that I had triplets plus two more and all the ladies were asking me questions. The usual, "how do you do it?"...so we all just laughed and within a minute that was it. The next thing I remember is waking up. I don't even remember closing my eyes. The very last thing I remember was someone setting something up on the left side of my body. That was it.

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was the clock and I instantly felt a lot of pain. I was barely able to open my eyes and my throat hurt a lot from the breathing tube. The nurses kept telling me to wake up and open my eyes. I then heard one of them ask if I was getting admitted and then someone said that they would ask the doctor. A few seconds later that same nurse said that I was in fact staying. So I closed my eyes and figured there is no reason to stay awake. I was tired. The nurses didn't like that. Then I heard the phone ring and the nurse said that they were having trouble keeping me awake. I opened my eyes and said, "I'm not surprised that's my mom on the phone..." They said my mom and Tim could come back and see me. By this time is was about 8:30pm at night. I couldn't believe how late it was and that I was in surgery and recovery for so long. My mom and Tim showed me all the photos that were taken of my organs and told me that my ovaries were saved (I must say, my uterus looked really nice for having 3 pregnancies in 2.5 years and carrying triplets for 32 weeks!! I have been pregnant for 109 weeks and 1 day which equals 2 years, 1 month, 1 week and 1 day, so that uterus has had it's share of work! I think it deserved an award!). I was very glad to hear that and know that I was not going into menopause at 27 years old! Tim stayed for a little bit and then he decided he should go home and relieve his mom of the girls. My mom was going to stay with me at the hospital and bring me home the next day.

After I kept complaining of pain and so they decided to give me morphine instead of dulatid. I had to push the damn button EVERY 10 minutes around the clock and let me just say, I pushed that button EVERY ten minutes until 9AM, and yes, that means I didn't sleep at all! BUT, a lot happened between then and 9AM! And the worst was yet to come.

I was moved to my room, a nice and big private room in the new section of the hospital by 9:15PM. I don't even remember the ride in my bed. I was still complaining of being in a lot of pain so the nurse said they would give me Toradol. Like that same drug I had right after Anna was born. That same drug that made me go out of my mind itching. BUT, since numerous doctors and nurses told me that I was having a reaction from the SPINAL, I thought it was no big deal to get the pain medication. Well, let me tell you, I was WRONG. VERY WRONG! I watched that medication go into my IV and within minutes I was having a severe allergic reaction again. Oh my word. So from about 10:00PM on I was out of my mind in pain from itching. I never went to sleep. I cried. I begged. I pleaded with anyone to help me. I wanted relief. I couldn't get anyone to listen to me. Finally around 5AM when I had been pulling my hair out for an hour (for real!) and scratching my eye balls, my mom practically lit a fire under the nurses butts to get me some help! I had broken a plastic spoon in half and was using the sharp (broken) edge to scratch my skin. Seriously, I was out of my mind and would have done anything for relief. I pushed that damn button for that morphine every ten minutes. I was itching every part of my body. The inside of my nose, my eye balls, my ears, my head...EVERYWHERE! It was miserable. I was SO tried. My eyes were swollen shut and so red that I could barely open them. All I could do was cry. My phone kept ringing and I couldn't even bear to talk to anyone for more than a minute. I was miserable. Just absolute miserable.

I had the blood clot things on both my legs. I had a catheter in so I couldn't barely move. Not to mention the pain from having four incisions that are two inches long and your guts ripped out from your vagina. Sorry, I know that's a little detailed but it's reality. I was a mess. I kept telling my mom that I am stronger than this. That I couldn't believe I was such a mess. That I was in so much pain. I had triplets for goodness sake. I have had endometriosis. I have had surgeries, IFV, 3 pregnancies...I can do pain, but this was different. This kicked my butt. I couldn't believe how much it was kicking my butt!

The nurses kept asking me what they could do for me. I must say, after so long and being SO tired, I was a different person and I wasn't very nice. I was so frustrated  I was just SO done! Like I said, my eyes were swollen shut and puss was leaking out of them. That was painful. The itching continued. By 9AM, my morphine was gone and I was back to dulatid. It was no way as good as morphine, but I didn't care. The pain was the least of my worries. The itching was what I needed to stop. They took the blood clot things off. They took the catheter out after I begged them. But then it's so hard to pee. You just can't find your bladder. I tried to pee for an hour. Finally after awhile, I made some progress. I was seriously a mess. Finally around lunchtime, I was able to be discharged. I decided before we left the hospital that there was NO way that I could go home. Absolutely no way! I was still itching out of my mind but it was getting a little better as each hour passed. My eyes were seriously so infected from all my itching that they were so swollen and leaking. It was nasty. I could barely move or stand up. 

I got to my parent's house and I don't think I was in the house for more than ten minutes before I was in the shower. It felt so good to get clean and it helped the itching so much. I literally dried my hair, ate some Chinese food and went to bed. And that's where I stayed for two days. I woke up to eat, use the bathroom and take medication. My dad stayed home on Friday to take care of me, which was wonderful. One of my good friends visited me on Friday night too, which was great but I'm sure I looked like a hot mess. Oh well. And the only other thing I did (my dad of course drove me) was go to the eye doctor in town to make sure my eye balls weren't going to fall out. Basically the eye doctor told me that I just had a severe reaction to the medication but that my eyes were not scratched or infected. He gave me two different drops and said they should improve. He was so nice and I was so glad to know that my eyes were okay.

I stayed at my parent's house until Saturday evening. I should have stayed until Sunday but I was guilted into coming home. It's not that I didn't miss my girl's and Tim, but I was in no shape to do anything. It was nice to get home in a sense but it was also overwhelming. I couldn't even raise my voice or it hurt. 

I had help with the girls for the first week, but by the following Thursday, I was back to being on my own. I took it slow (as slow as you can with five kids!) but I got better and better as each day passed. I am glad we had some meals brought to us and that I prepared things before surgery which made things easier. My stamina definitely took a while to come back.

UPDATE AS OF NOVEMBER 6th:

I have been feeling pretty good. Compared to the first few days after surgery, I feel great! The past two weeks I have had a few setbacks, but nothing too bad. My four incisions are all healed and look fine. I really didn't care much, since my entire belly is covered in scars from babies and previous surgeries. I had a little bit of leaking from one of the incisions but it finally is healing and closing up. The pain is finally subsiding. I do have some lingering pain above my belly button, but I am guessing that is from the scar tissue and the fact that I am still healing. I forget that it hasn't been that long. 

I went for my follow-up last week and received the results from the pathologist. I was so nervous and prepared myself for the worse. Although, I figured the doctor would have called if there was cancer present. So, I was super glad that I got the wonderful news that it was nothing past stage 0. Praise Jesus! What a blessing that was to hear. SO now I don't go back until the middle of December when I will be totally cleared! 

I must say it is really nice to know that there is NO way I will ever be pregnant again. It's still weird to think that because I am only 27 years old, but it will be nice never to have a period ever again! Whahoo! It's crazy to think that chapter of my life is already over, but then again, it was meant to be. To think if I had never gotten pregnant with Anna, I may have been sitting here writing that I have a much higher stage of cancer. It would have been awhile until I had another pap smear and things may have been very different by then. All of my children have been miracles, and I am thankful for each of them. Anna could have very well saved my life and saved her and her sisters a lifetime with their mother.

I am very happy all of this is behind me and there is nothing to be worried about. It seems like everything went so slow waiting to have it done, but now it doesn't seem like that at all. I am glad it is all over. Once again, thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, texts, emails and everything. I truly appreciate it!

Hysterectomy

I know it's been awhile since I've updated about my hysterectomy/cancer issues. So, here goes:

I went to the oncologist on September 3rd to talk over my results of my colposcopy and biopsies.  He said something for sure needs to be done, and done very soon. He suggested I either do the hysterectomy or a cone biopsy. I asked him about what I've read regarding having a cone biopsy and then it being much harder to detect cancer in the future and he said for sure it is MUCH harder to detect cancer after a cone biopsy. He stated that if I was to get cancer after a cone biopsy, it is likely not caught until very late. That sealed the deal for me. I have too much life ahead of me to still worry about it, even after having a procedure done. TAKE IT OUT! So, he agreed too, if that was my wishes, that it would be best. 

We talked for a few minutes regarding the surgery and what it entails. He said of course their is a risk in hitting my bladder because I have had two c-sections and two laparoscopies, but that there are risks in every surgery. Duh, thanks for the reassurance doc! He said he can in fact try to do a laparoscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy, but he won't know for sure until he's in the OR. 

Everything will be biopsied and examined once it's out of me to make sure there is NO cancer anywhere, and if there is, we go from there, then. He said there is always a chance that they miss the cancer cells on the colposcopies, so we just have to wait and see. 

As for now, they will take my cervix, uterus and tubes, hopefully leaving my ovaries. I talked to him about how Dr. R (who delivered Emily and Anna) said that he saw endometriosis in me during my c-section., which still blows my mind considering how easy we got pregnant with Em and Anna. I asked if he could look around and examine the area and make a determination if my ovaries needed to come out or anything else needed to be done while he was in there and he said he would. That made me feel really good. I don't have time to have another surgery to get rid of endometriosis and since I am still going to have my ovaries and therefor still have hormones, endometriosis can still grow and cause me problems! Errrr.

So my surgery has been scheduled for October 9th, 2013 at 10:30am. I have to be there at 8:30am and the hospital that I have to go to is two hours away. I am not looking forward to the day before "prep" if ya know what I mean. Blah. So, that should be a fun start, liquid diet and living in the bathroom all day before. Blah. I will be in the hospital for 1-2 days providing everything goes to plan, even though my instructions say 3-6 days. Then I hope to go to my parent's house for a few days to recover and stay in bed. Isn't exactly the vacation I was looking for. I can't do stairs but once a day for the first week and no driving for 3-4 weeks!! The nurse was very firm with me that this is major internal surgery and not like a c-section. She said I must have help and take it easy! I almost died of laughter and then told her I have five little girls, 2.5 years and younger. Must have help? Riiiiight..does this lady know who I am??

So....with a month to go, I am going to make lots of meals, try to plan some help for me and the girls, get everything together....and hope for the best.  I am going to miss the girls so much but I try to not think about it too much right now. I know this month will go so fast. I have to remember that this is the best option for me, right now and I need to be healthy for my girls and my husband. I want to live a long, happy life that does not involve cancer, so I am going to do whatever I have to do to make sure of it. I am definitely scared. It's totally different having surgery when you have children that need you. I'm Momma and we all know, no one can do it like Momma. I hate being a burden to anyone and asking for help just isn't what I like to do. I don't want to depend on other people to help me and my family. I just hate that, but I know this time I am really going to need help in so many ways.

I have 28 days left. Good gracious. I have a lot to do to prepare! Thank you for all those that have been keeping me and my family in your thoughts and prayers, it is appreciated so much. 

Anna Kate's Birth Story - Part 4

On Friday morning, 5.24, my doctor came to see me and immediately I asked him if I could go home and surprisingly he said yes. I was so overjoyed and could not wait to get back home to my big girls! And the pediatrician came and said the same, Anna was perfectly fine to go home with us. All was good. Praise Jesus!

My dad stopped by on his lunch break to finally get to hold Anna, since he didn't get to on the day of her birth.

All ready to go! Get me out of this hospital! Tim and I joked about having a summer baby this time and not having to go outside when it was freezing with our little baby but this day, the start of Memorial Day Weekend, it was freezing! Tim had to put the heat on in the car before we went down to get in. I didn't bring anything but shorts and one long sleeve shirt for myself, thank goodness.

Because of Friday afternoon, holiday weekend traffic, it took us much longer to get home then we thought. Anna didn't make a peep and I slept most of the way.

When we got home, the girls were asleep but when they woke up, I was so happy to see them and they were so happy to see me! 

I didn't get photos of them meeting Anna for the first time but the next day we took some photos of them holding her. Melted my heart. It was a few moments I will never forget. All my girls together. All five. FIVE! They each gave Anna kisses and took turns hold her. Even Emily loved it. She had a fit when her turn was over. Each of the girls did so good. I loved seeing them react to Anna and it's been so cute so see them as the days have gone on with a new baby in the house.

Precious kisses from Natalee to Anna!

As of the recovery this time around, it's been much easier than with the triplets. I can breath so much easier. I'm not falling over fainting walking up the stairs. I can sleep, when Anna allows me to! My scar seems much longer this time, but maybe that is just the bandages, so we'll see when that starts to come off. The pain has been very manageable. I took vicoden and motrin 600's for about a week, and that was it. I've just been taking tylenol or advil now, mostly just for nursing pain still.

Our scale is messed up right now, but I go to the doctor next week and I can't wait to see how much weight I have lost. My tummy is shrinking more as each day passes, but that tummy tuck is still in the back of my mind for one day! When I'm able, I will be starting to exercise to get back into shape from these five babies in 2.5 years!

And nursing, it's going great. I'm breastfeeding her and pumping. I already have quite the supply built up in the freezer and each time I pump I'm getting about 8-10 ounces in about 12-16 minutes. Yeah...crazy, I am a milk maid for sure! I'm sure as Anna eats more on her own, I won't be getting as much pumped milk so I am glad that I have the supply built up. Anna is eating great. She's already looking bigger to me. 

Next up: How it's been with 5 Under 2.5: The first Week, How much the girls Look Alike and My first day alone with all Five (which was TODAY!).

Anna Kate's Birth Story - Part 3!

Part 1

Part 2

Finally late Wednesday night, we were able to go down to the NICU and see her, hold her and talk to her nurse. Sitting there talking with her nurse, someone I didn't know from before, I was so emotional. Why me again? Why my baby again? I started getting scared and feeling like I just didn't deserve this again. My little baby struggling in the first few hours of life and she is considered a full-term baby! I blew it off when my OB said she might end up in the NICU. How could I have been so naive? Not like me at all and yet here I am at 11pm looking at another one of my innocent children struggling with life and yet I can't be there at every second to cuddle and love on her. It just wasn't fair. I didn't understand.

But I've always tried to look at it as a blessing. A blessing that we have technology and medical advances that are wonderful. I was surrounded by amazing and knowledgeable doctors and nurses who came to lend a hand, offer a hug, just say hello and how beautiful our little Anna-Kate is. Nurses and doctors who remembered us. Remembered our girls. Those smiling faces and sweet hellos are what made my heart smile. I knew my little girls were in great hands before and I know once again that Anna-Kate couldn't be in better care. I relished in that peace. It's all I could do. God would handle the rest.

We learned a lot more about why she was in the NICU in the first place and what needed to be done for her to be able to leave. I'll try to make this as short as possible. The nurse said that they expected the fluid in her lungs to absorb, hopefully. She had been on the c-pap without oxygen and then they tried her without it. She didn't even last an hour off of the machine before having to be put back on it with oxygen. She looked so uncomfortable and I hated watching her struggle to breath. No mother wants to see their child struggle to do anything, especially breath. Heartbreaking. She had an IV for fluids and to keep her blood sugar up. She had a feeding tube put in too, which I hated to see.

Finally holding her, fighting back the tears.

They said they would try to take her off of the c-pap sometime over night. So we said our good-nights and headed back to our room, baby-less. It sucked. There's no other way to say it. It's not right to deliver your baby and go back to an empty room. 

I didn't sleep. I couldn't sleep. I heard the babies around me in other rooms and wondered if my little girl was crying for her Momma too? The itching was horrible. The pain was pretty bad. My IV hurt, my catheter hurt, the sweating, the itching....oh the itching! I did not sleep one minute. Just kept starring at the clock and waiting for 6am when I knew the nurse said she would be back in to take out my catheter and take off the clotting pressure things on my legs. And I was starving and wanted to see my baby!!!!

By the way, it was our 4th Anniversary, May 23rd. I've spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year's Eve, New Years Day, Valentine's Day (all with the girls in the NICU) and now one of our Anniversaries (AK) in the hospital.

Finally after I ate and got some morphine, instead of what I was on for pain (because I didn't know what the heck was causing so much itching...if it was the antibiotics, the narcotics, the spinal, or a combo of it all) we ventured down to the NICU, after shift change and before rounds.

I was so happy to see Anna-Kate not on c-pap and breathing on her own! She looked so different and her face was so bright and healthy looking. She really looked so much better than the night before. They also took out her feeding tube and so she was able to nurse very well. My heart was mending seeing my little girl doing so much better. 

During rounds Dr. S and all the nurses were impressed to see how well she was doing. Dr. S said they would back down on her IV and hopefully she would be back with us by this afternoon/evening. That made my heart very happy. She also had another one of our nurses that we had from before, which was nice. 

We went back to our room for lunch and my best friend came back down to stay with me while Tim went home for a little bit to help with the girls. I also had some other wonderful visitors that kept my spirits up and brought some sweet gifts for Anna! When Tim got back, we were just about to get ready and go down to the NICU when the NICU nurse knocked at our door and had Anna with her. I couldn't stop smiling! My baby girl was back with her Momma and Daddy!

A few minutes later my mom arrived and finally got to hold her. I was able to take a shower and that helped my itching so much. It felt so good to get clean.

Our good friends, Nathan and Emily came to see us and brought me the best chocolate cake I have ever had! Oh my it was so darn good!

Happy Daddy!

Anna had a great night that first night with us. Of course I just couldn't stop holding her and starring at her. She was so sweet. I wanted to see all of her and take her all in.

Part 4: Go-Home Day and Meeting my Big Sisters...coming!

Anna-Kate's Birth Story - Part 2

Part 1 Here

Before I knew it, it was time to go to the OR. I asked if I was going to walk and they said, yes. I was glad because as silly as it may be, I wanted to walk one more time with my big belly and take in the last few minutes of being pregnant. I sat on the table getting ready for my spinal and just took the last few seconds in. I started to get nervous but the general surgeon was so sweet. The spinal was fine. A little painful but really I never think they are too painful. It's so quick and over with before you can think about it, I really don't mind it. By the time I said, ouch, it was done. It did go in waayyy faster than I remember with the girls or with Emily. By the time they helped me to lay back, I was getting more and more numb by the seconds. I really couldn't believe that. I remember with the girls that it took forever for it to kick in.

The moment I laid down, it was like I was a hurt hyena being swarmed by hungry lions. Every part of my body had something or someone doing something to it. It overwhelmed me, made me nervous and scared and I started to get really faint and anxious. For about two minutes I was freaking out, couldn't think or focus on anything and then I felt my blood pressure cuff tighten, just in time. The anesthesiologist said, "oh your blood pressure is really dropping" and I said, "yeah I can really tell, I feel very, very weird". He gave me something immediately and within a minute or two I was much more relaxed and barely able to keep my eyes open. And I stayed like that the whole time but those few minutes of panic were horrible. Something new that I hadn't had with the girls was an awesome warming blanket that puffs up on your chest and arms and blows hot air the whole time so you don't get the shakes and feel freezing. Man was it wonderful!!!! All I remember last time was the horrible shaking, being frozen and not being able to get warm, so this blanket was AWESOME! I had just a few moments where the shaking was there but not an issue. Nothing like last time that's for sure. Tim even agreed that the blanket was wonderful because he could feel all the warm air too and since the OR is always freezing, it was great for him also.

The thing I am going to remember while waiting this time for her actual moment of birth is feeling so tired and impatient. I was like, what is taking soooo long!? Finally when they said to expect some pressure, I wasn't thinking it would be much since I didn't remember that with the girls. I was wrong.  Holy moly! I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest! It was so crazy. My shoulder was being pushed down and it just seemed like forever for her to actually be born. That was definitely a new experience and not one that was so nice. I like it lasted forever.

Finally after all that pressure, I heard Anna's little feisty cry! Music to my ears! My sweet, sweet daughter. My fifth daughter! I am now a mother to FIVE daughters! I could barely believe it. I told Tim to get up and start taking photos immediately because with Emily or the girls I never got those "first breath" moments on camera and I wanted it this time.

It seemed like forever that I didn't get to see her. They kept working on her and I was like, where is my baby! I wanted to see her so bad. Finally Dr. S, the neonatalogist came over and said she was doing well but having some trouble breathing so they were working on her. Working on her? Like what? I kept asking Tim what was going on but he just kept saying everything was fine, she looks great. He kept asking me every five seconds if I was okay, which of course made me nervous even more. 

A few more minutes passed and they finally showed her to me. All wrapped up, perfect as can be. I was so happy to see her little face, but it didn't last long, they took her right back, and away from me.

Before I knew it, the neonatologist came back and said that they were in fact going to take her to the NICU. I was really surprised. The nurses started asking for a transport bed and what area she would be going to. I was so nervous but they assured me she was okay, she just needed a little help to breath. Yeah, I've been down this path before. It's not fun. I prepared for it last time, this time it struck me like a ton of bricks. Why is another one of my children going to the NICU struggling to breath? She is supposed to be full-term! I know even full-term babies have their troubles, but I was just so sad to once again be separated from my baby! AGAIN!

They let me kiss her goodbye and off she went to the NICU. I said a few prayers and literally couldn't believe it was happening again. My baby was struggling to breath!

It took forever for them to sew me up. Again, I kept thinking, what is taking so long. I guess when I had the girls, I was just so incredibly out of it, that I didn't have a grasp on the time, like I did this time. I know it all didn't take that long, but it seemed like every minute was an hour. Plus, my mind was on my baby and what was happening to her.

After awhile, they moved me from the OR bed to a recovery bed and off I went to post-op.  A few minuted before I was moved to post-op, I started itching. It started with my face, neck, head and worked it's way down the more the spinal wore off. And let's just say that was the beginning of a horrible reaction to something. The nurses said it was normal, but let me assure you, I don't think it was. I was going nuts, and I mean NUTS over how itchy I was. In the post-op I had the maximum dose of Benadryl which did nothing to ease the itching. I was going insane. It was so bad. It lasted for almost 48 hours before I was completely itch free. I googled the antibiotics they had me on and the pain meds to make sure nothing had sulfa in it, which I am very allergic to. I almost thought they must have left a latex glove inside my belly (I'm allergic to latex too) because something was just not right and nothing would ease it. I don't know what it was, but it was not fun!

I begged Tim to go over to the NICU and find out what was going on with Anna and so finally he was given the go to do so by the nurses. He went over and was gone awhile but sent me some photos from his phone. I was so shocked to see that they had put Anna on c-pap which is a respiratory machine that forces air into the lungs. I knew immediately when I saw the photo and it of course again brought so many fears over me. I've been down this road before. The tube down her throat, c-pap, IV for fluids...ugh, it was a sight I was trying to forget and here I was again. I ached to hold her in those moments. My body ached for her. To be taken from me and once again not to be with my baby. It just wasn't fair.

While he was gone, I had a few scary moments where I started to bleed a little heavier, which of course scared the crap out of me. I thought, oh my goodness, here we go again! But luckily just after 20 minutes or so it slowed to normal. Oh, and the nurse I had for the second part of my delivery/post-op was a nurse that helped in the delivery room with the triplets, so she has been at 4 out of 5 of my deliveries. Pretty neat!

After two long hours in recovery, the nurses said they could wheel me by to see her in the NICU. Thank goodness. I needed to see her. I wanted to ask a million questions about what was going on. Finally, I laid my eyes on my little beauty once again. I hated seeing her in distress and it broke my heart. I only got to visit with her for a few minutes and touch her foot. I said a few prayers and talked with her nurse, Cheryl, which was one of our favorite nurses from before. She was so sweet and assured me Anna was doing well. I had to quickly say goodbye and once again left my daughter to be cared for by others. It was so emotional.

The nurses wheeled me to my room and finally my dad and my best friend could come back. They had been waiting all day to see me and Anna. They got to go in and see Anna way before I did, so I knew she was getting lots of love. A few minutes later my mom was there and she also go to go see Anna. 

Part 3, coming soon!

Anna Kate's Birth Story: Morning of Delivery and 37 Week Photos!

On the morning of Anna's birth, I was barely nervous at all. I was more anxious to get to the hospital and get things going! Before leaving we took some photos. I thought I would be a lot more of a mess leaving the girls but really I wasn't. I was a little sad, but what could I do, I had to go!

Last photo of our family of six!

Here are my last belly pictures EVER....at 37 weeks! Really I think I look pretty good, considering how exhausted I was. I only gained 25-27 lbs this pregnancy.

We left for the hospital at 9:10AM. Arrived at the hospital at a little before 10:00AM. Came in and waited, waited and waited. I was really started to get nervous and just a little emotional but finally around 11:00AM, we got to go back to pre-op. The nurse looked really familiar and she thought the same when we met. We realized right away that we had met at our mutual friend's house for a fall party with all of our kids. SO crazy, and I remembered talking to her the whole time! How awesome it was to see a familiar face and know I would be taken care of! She was so sweet.

Got changed. Had my IV put in. Met with Dr. R. Met with anesthesiologist. Met with the general surgeon. Dr. R and I talked about the hysterectomy and things surrounding that, I reminded him that I do not want percocet due to it making me so sick last time with the girls. I also asked about leaving on Friday evening and immediately was shut down on that. So, as of then it was Saturday for a discharge. :( We also talked about he fact that Anna might have to go to the NICU because she is only 37 weeks. He said a neonatalogist would be in the room (ironically the same one we had with the girls, Dr. S) to watch her breathing and make sure all was okay. Honestly I didn't think much of it. Every birth I've had a neonatologist  there and I honestly just figured he was telling us this because he had to. Really I brushed it off. How naive of me. I should have known better.

Please excuse the blurriness and stretch marks, but a part of me will always remember that big belly!

And just like that, the clock struck 12 and we were off to the OR....

Happy Birthday Anna Katherine!

Today, Wednesday, May 22, 2013, Tim and I welcomed our fifth daughter into our family!

Anna Katherine Gaydos

7 lbs.

18 3/4 inches
12:48 PM

Born via c-section at 37 weeks

Anna is in the NICU due to some heavy/fast breathing and fluid in her lungs. She was placed on the c-pap machine also to help with her breathing. She had an xray to make sure the fluid wasn't more than they thought. Also had blood work done and is on an IV.

She is very feisty, vocal and wanting to eat. Thank goodness on my first pumping session I got a good amount of colostrum, and even more on my second session. I am getting WAY more than the first few days of my last two pregnancies already!

Please keep our little girl in your prayers. She is expected to be in the NICU all night and into tomorrow. Hopefully she will be back with me as soon as they feel she can. I hate beyond belief that once again I don't have my baby to cuddle and bond with.

I have only been able to see her for two minutes and touch her foot; they wheeled me in on the bed to the NICU on my way to my room. Haven't even held her yet. Tim got to hold her for about a minute in the OR, but that was it.

Luckily we have our wonderful NICU nurses and doctors keeping her safe and healthy while she can't be with her Momma and Daddy. Breaks my heart though. Trying not to think about it to be honest, it just makes me sad.

Some notes: On first look, she looks like Emily, but I also see Maddie in her too. No hair at all. Don't know eye color yet.

Update on Momma: C-section went well, I thought it took a long time. I will write another post on it all with details galore. I have been having so much itching from the spinal and it's literally be driving me NUTS all day, but hopefully the more the spinal leaves my system, it will subside! I have been getting meds for it, thank goodness, but boy if it isn't something it's another. And the sweating, that has been horrible again too!  I haven't been able to get up yet (sometime tomorrow morning), and frankly I don't want to. I am not looking forward to that burning pain! Looks like I will have to stay until Saturday. Not happy about that too, but I know doctors orders are doctors orders. No matter what I just pray that I don't have to go home without my baby girl!

Thank you for all the texts, emails, thoughts and prayers...it is so appreciated! I will post more photos soon!

UPDATE on Anna-Kate's arrival TOMORROW!

I'm so excited to announce that our sweet Anna-Kate will be born tomorrow, Wednesday, May 22, 2013, via c-section sometime before or around 12:30pm.

I know I have been in shock since last week when we found out and I had every intention of posting this post before the weekend but honestly, we have been in preparation mode ever since. There have been so much to do, clean, cook, ect. My brain has been spinning, and even today 24 hours before I need to leave, I still have so much to do and get done!

First her due date was June 12th. Then they said I could be induced June 5th. After finding out about the high bile acids (see below), they moved it to no later than May 28th. After the OB and peri discussed everything  on Friday am they decided not to wait any longer past 37 weeks, which is tomorrow! 

Also, I will post my final baby bump photos tomorrow morning before we leave and hopefully I will post about her birth by tomorrow evening.

Here's how we came to this: PLEASE NOTE, it was written on FRIDAY!

On May 16th, I went in for my 36w1d OB appointment. I was suppose to have a sonogram but when I got there they said since I was having on at the perinatalogists. I was really bummed but I understood. I asked the nurse to make sure she paid attention to my urine sample for blood since blood was in my urine last time. There was no blood this time. Weight was 158lbs. Blood pressure was great.

I met with Dr. A and he checked my cervix. All was just the same. A little effaced, not dilated. He also tested me for the Strep B. I asked if he got Dr. R's notes from when I went to Labor and Delivery and he said yes. I asked if he had seen the bile acid levels and he said he hadn't and would check them and come right back.

Well after another 10 minutes, and hearing him on the phone, I was told I was going to have a sonogram after all. I waited for another few minutes and Dr. A came in and told me the levels are in fact very elevated and things just changed. I got a little nervous. He said, no question I will deliver before 38 weeks, which is May 28th, or sooner, definitely no later.

So they did the sonogram for over 45 minutes. Amniotic fluid was high. She wasn't moving very much at all. She wasn't practicing her breathing. They tried everything to get her to move. Her heartbeat was perfect though. The sonographer just couldn't give me a passing score so off to Labor and Delivery I went. 

I must say her movement had definitely slowed in the last 24 hours and the weirdest part of all is that I wasn't, for once, having any contractions. That was the weirdest thing.

So I went over to Labor and Delivery around 5pm (my OB was at 2:30pm!) and got hooked up to the monitors to listen to her heartbeat and see if I was contracting, which I wasn't.

So I stayed about an hour and I got to go home. I had an appointment at the perinatologist for Monday, but after calling on Friday morning, they decided that I needed to come right in.

So I went in. Waited some more. Had the sonogram finally. Her stomach looked enlarged for some reason. She was weighing in at 7lbs 5oz. Limbs are still about two weeks behind but she looked really healthy, per doctors comments. She was breathing, moving and opening and closing her mouth. The amniotic fluid was in the normal range also. I also was able to get some photos of her, which make me really happy too!

So basically Dr. H got on the phone with my OB, Dr. A, and they both agreed that Wednesday, May 22, 2013 (37 weeks) will be delivery day at 12:30pm, via c-section. I was so bummed to hear it has to be a c-section but after reviewing the risks and talking with both doctors and friends, I agree that it is best for Anna and I. Really, I wasn't going to get a choice, it was already mandatory that I was having a c-section regardless, just too much risk for anything else. And if at anytime I feel less movement, I was told go straight to Labor and Delivery and they will delivery asap.

Of course I am thrilled beyond belief that in five short days I will be holding my fifth daughter in my arms. But I am also in shock that it's only five days away, I can't believe it. I have so much to do and so much to get done. I wanted her to be born early (safely), but I thought I would have had at least another week or so. With the high bile acids though, the doctors do not like a patient or baby to go over 37 weeks because of the still-born risks.

So this weekend it's prepare for baby Anna-Kate's arrival! Freezer meals, getting the house cleaned, putting all her stuff away and just overall getting ready for chaos in the next two weeks. I have to line up people who can hopefully help us out with the girls. Luckily my parents will be back from Hawaii on Sunday evening, but since they've been off for almost two weeks, they are going to be busy with getting back to work, so my help is limited to very few. We will make it work though! EKK!

NICU Reunion 2013!!!

Sunday, April 21, 2013 was the annual Shady Grove Adventist Hospital NICU Reunion. 

I always, always look forward to this event because it gives me another chance to see and thank our nurses and doctors for all their hard work and tender care of our precious little girls. This year, I didn't see as many of our nurses and doctors that I had hoped for, but that could be because their was A LOT of people there and the room seemed to get smaller (and hotter) as more and more people came in. We saw some friends that we've met along our journey, another triplet family that we have finally met in person, and saw lots of twins!

They had all sorts of activities for the kids which was really fun. There was a Sesame Street moon bounce, which of course was a big hit since "MELMO" was on it, but the girls didn't have much interest in it all of the sudden, even though they love Pump It Up where they play on all the inflatable stuff for two straight hours.

The big highlight was getting their arms painted with butterflies. They were memorized at the sparkly butterfly on their arm. My heart was so happy. They are really getting so big and so interested in so much more.

Natalee!

Maddy!

Claire!

We got our annual NICU photo, and you just wait ten minutes and it's ready...and yeah, I FORGOT MINE! I was so sad and all of the sudden remembered last night when I got in bed! I emailed on of the nurses so hopefully someone will find it! Booo!

There were lots of snacks, such as pop corn, chips, pretzels, ice cream, veggie sticks, fresh fruit and drinks for everyone, which was really nice, considering my kids didn't eat much lunch and we were going on no naps to attend the event.

A very happy Emme-girl!

Claire shoveling chips in her mouth!

There were some crafts and a guy singing weird songs to everyone, a DVD of parents and stories in the NICU and to be honest I didn't see much of, due to my own choice (I had mixed emotions on it...Our time in the NICU is not something I like to relive, because my heart is scarred forever, but I have slowly learned to turn the page in my life and learned how to just live with the guilt I have. We each, as parents, have our own story, along with our precious children, and it is NEVER forgotten, but I just couldn't bare the emotions of listening to the stories (even though happy endings) in a room full of people. Every time I tell our story, mostly Natalee's story, my heart breaks more and more for her. I look at her and all she does today, 2.5 years later, with her little scars scattered throughout her whole body, and I never forget those emotions and feelings of almost loosing my little girls numerous times over again...and I was a lucky one! Miracle children should be celebrated, absolutely, but I just don't know, I thought it was a little weird for the time and place. I knew if I really watched it, I would be an emotional mess and so many feeling would come back to me on our own story, so I guess that was just my issue....and maybe I am can't even put this into words right now in the correct way, but oh well.)

I would have loved to see more of the nurses and doctors there too. I know the NICU still has to be run, of course, but I don't think they get enough thank you's from those who will never forget their help to save our precious children. The kind words, the kind touches, the sweet gestures, the calls/texts in the middle of the nights, the overall care and concern, it is never forgotten. I have distinct memories of nurses and doctors telling me something and/or showing their true concern, and those are the moments I remember with smiles. My children will surely always know that when Mommy and Daddy couldn't care for them, there were very special people that did, with tender and loving hands, just as we would have cared for them. My girls will always know their stories and know how lucky they were to have such wonderful angels care for them, as I am forever thankful. It was such an important and critical time in my girls life, and they will know how blessed they are.

So...anyway, it was a wonderful day, and although the evening was a little hard due to no naps, it was well worth it to celebrate the life of our little girls!!