OB Appointment: 27 Weeks

March 13th, 2013 (27 weeks) - OB Appointment and Glucose Screening

Yesterday I had my Ob appointment. I drank the glucose on my way and had my blood drawn. Results in a few weeks.

Weight was 146lbs, so 11lbs gained at start of third trimester! :)

Talked to Dr. A about a few things:

1. The perinatalogist asked me if I had high-grade HPV with high-grade lesions/cells, and the answer is yes. It is the worst non-cancerous cells you can have before cancer. No where to go but to cancer.

2. I will have another colpo with a pap smear at 30 weeks and again at 35 weeks. If they at all show up cancer, then we prepare for delivery and do the hysterectomy then. Of course this isn't nearly as concerning to me as it was when I was only 24 weeks pregnant. I know Anna-Kate will be much healthier being born at most, 32 weeks (it takes up to two weeks for results to come back). And of course I will get the steroid shot for her lungs if I need to deliver early.

3. But as of now, the way it is, looks like around 8-12 weeks after Anna-Kate is born, I will have a hysterectomy. I will have a colpo and pap-smear six weeks after delivery and they will make a decision then. There seems to be a consensus now with all three doctors (OB, peri and oncologist). I am super glad about this. This is, after all, what I wanted from the beginning. Get it out of me. Take the fear away! 

4. I will not be a candidate for a vaginal or laparoscopic hysterectomy because it's involving cancer. Apparently the lymph nodes have to be biopsied and they can't do that any other way but "the old fashioned way". So the doctors (my OB and oncologist) will use my same scar from my c-section. I will most likely be in the hospital for 3-5 days in Baltimore, where the oncologist does his surgeries. So we are looking at late August or early September for the surgery, just depends when AK is born.

5. Hopefully I will be able to keep my ovaries and tubes. This way I don't go straight into menopause  Of course without having my uterus and cervix, I won't ever have a period again! :) I guess something good has to come from all this, besides not worrying about getting cancer!!

6. Regarding Anna-Kate's shorter limbs, the OB is not too concerned. First of all, ultrasounds can be wrong. Second, there is confirmation of a nasal bone, so he really thinks if anything it could be dwarfism. He also thinks she could just be short. Or maybe just a little behind in development. But since her limbs are growing and everything else on her is perfect, he really says I shouldn't worry. I am praying that is the case. I will be worried though, she is my littlest baby and I want her to be perfect. But no matter what she is will perfect to us.

7. There are no other genetic testing or testing of any kind that can be done now that is worth risking. We just have to wait and see once she is born, if anything stands out. Praying she is just perfect in every way!

It was a good appointment and I am glad I got a lot of my concerns and questions answered. I go back in 3 weeks (4/3) to the OB and 4 weeks to the peri (4/8). I don't see the oncologist until 6 weeks after delivery.

Thank you again for all the wonderful prayers and thoughts. I appreciate everyone of them! (Some of you who have left blog comments do not have an email attached to your profile, so I can't email you back to say thank you, so please know that you are appreciated!)

Pernatalogist Appointment: 26w4d

Monday, March 11th I had a perinatalogy appointment. I am 26w4d.

The scan went well. Everything looks good. Fluid is good. Cervix is good. AK is growing well. She is still on the small side. She is currently weighing 2lbs exactly. Oh and she is head up, just as I expected..I've been feeling those little feet dancing on my bladder!

In reference to her limbs, they are still measuring small. Her upper leg bone (from her hip to her knee) on both legs are measuring very small. Small, like not even on the normal curve, yet. Her lower leg bones (from the knee to the ankle) are measuring on the normal curve but in the less than 5 percentile. Both are concerning. Both legs are measuring the same, so that is at least consistent. Arm bones are the same. In the low percentile but on the normal curve. 

Again he asked me how tall I am. How tall is my husband. How tall are our other girls. Again he asked if the genetic screening came back normal.

He doesn't have any answers as of now. He compared it to Emily's growth at this point in my pregnancy with her and she was growing normally. He said it is good that AK's limbs are all growing still. They are measuring longer than at the last scan, just not normal for gestational age at this point (it's about two weeks behind).

Of course this isn't what I wanted to hear, but still it's not the worse. I am rejoicing in the fact that she is healthy and like I have said before, if she just is a little shorter, no problem!

Here are some photos of our sweet little AK:

They couldn't get any good 3D photos because she was head up with her hands in front of her face.

As for the pre-cancerous cells. We talked long about that and I was glad to hear another doctor's opinion. He said hands-down, I should have a hysterectomy after AK is born. He said if it was his wife, at 27 years old, with five kids, 100% he would suggest a hysterectomy. He asked me a few more questions about the type of cells and lesions that were found and when I find out the answers tomorrow at my OB appointment, I will share.  I really was surprised and glad to hear that I am not crazy wanting a hysterectomy. Wanting this fear gone. The risk of cancer will never completely be eliminated but it will be a lot better! He said there is no reason to keep my cervix/uterus at all, especially since we are not having any more children. 

He also said that I could be a candidate for a vaginal hysterectomy, which would be awesome. Less time in the hospital, much better recovery times, less expensive and with four toddlers and a newborn (well a little one who is 2-3 months old) that is breastfeeding, I hope to have something that is easy then completely open surgery! We will see, and I will have to keep discussing everything with my OB and the oncologist.

Also, the nurse doing my scan heard what oncologist I saw and when I was mentioning his bed side manner wasn't the greatest and how he made my husband feel stupid for asking questions, she said she used to work for him and knows exactly what I meant. She said that he is a great doctor and one of the best in the local area related to oncology. I was again glad to hear this, because now I've heard it from two different people, both in the medical field. 

By the time most of you are reading this, I will be at my OB appointment and doing my glucose test. I'll share details on Thursday.

So Many Thoughts...

Thank you to so many of you who shared you stories, advice, prayers and thoughts on my post a few days ago. I truly, truly appreciate it. So many of you brought smiles to my face.

I just want to get out my thoughts, here on paper (or the screen) because it's eating me inside keeping it all in my head. To be honest, some days right now are better than others, some moments are better than others. Once again, I am good at hiding my emotions and acting like everything is just peachy! That's just who I am, I keep the household moving, the stuff done (most of the time) and life just goes on. But sometimes I literally have to stop myself from thinking the worst, but it's hard not to. I don't live in a fairy tale world, and therefore I could have cancer. I am scared to death to hear the words, "you have cancer". My heart races and my stomach turns just thinking about it. But really how can I not think about? How could anyone not think about it if it was them!?! Everything is going on like normal here and day after day, I am just left wondering. My life could be so different in two weeks or even a few months from now than I ever thought imaginable! I AM SCARED. I keep thinking, "there's just no way...not me...don't think the worst..." but really, it could be me, and it could be the worst! I am no one different than the next person. I don't deserve this just as much as anyone, so who's to say it won't be me?!

I start to think about what would happen and that scares me even more. Being away from my babies. Not knowing for how long. Kemo? Radiation? Isolation? Surgery? My sweet Anna-Kate in the NICU, smaller than her sisters ever were. What if she has long term effects from being born so early and it was because of me!? What if I choose (if possible) to keep her in longer and I suffer because of it? What if my doctors don't do enough and the cancer comes anyway with the next pap-smear? Just thinking that any day, any moment, those levels can change and your cells can go from pre-cancer to cancer, just frightens the crap out of me. I want it all out of my body and now! I hate it! I hate that it's in there. I am mad that it's in there doing this to me! Making me struggle. Making me scared. Making me focus on something other than what I want to focus on. It's literally making me crazy! I hate it!!

I don't want to see the doctor's office number come up on my phone. I don't want to hear my doctor's voice. I don't want to hear the results...but yet they cant's come soon enough. I am so scared to hear them. Not knowing when they will call freaks me out too. What if they call early, is that a bad sign? If it's the doctor's voice I hear, I'll know it's the worse, but if it's only the nurse's voice, it will probably be the same. I'll more than likely be here alone, with my girls when I get the call and that scares me. How do I tell my husband that he needs to come home immediately. That our life is changing right now. How do I tell the people I care about the most? I don't even know where to begin and I don't want to.

I hate to feel like a burden. I don't want to be one. I take care of people. I always have. I am a giver, not a receiver.  Never have been. To think other people would have to help me, take care of me, take care of my children, my family...I hate that! I don't want to be a burden on anyone. Tim and I always say that no one is responsible for our family and our children but us. We have pride in that. We work well as a team, day in and day out and to think we would have to change things up, isn't what I want! I don't want anyone to have to feel they need to help, need to feel bad for us...but what would I do? This isn't me!! I hate even having to think about this!

On another thought, I am so thankful for Anna-Kate and this pregnancy in so many ways. Her little self could potentially be saving my life. I wouldn't have been going to the doctor to get a pap-smear when I did, I would have waited until sometime later this year, when it really could have progressed to be much worse than it could be now. I'll never know and I don't want to know. God has given me each of my children for such special reasons, and it's simply amazing. My sweet Madelynn, Claire and Natalee, they made me a Momma. Nothing was or could be better than being their Momma. My sweet Emily healed my heart from so many wounds that I experience through my pregnancy/birth/post-partum from the triplets. I didn't think it was possible to ever heal from the trauma I and them went through and she made me believe I could. God gave me her for a reason, for that I am sure. And now, my little bean, Anna-Kate, is possibly saving my life. If I hadn't had a pap-smear when I did, I wouldn't have known my levels were much worse than the previous year. I wouldn't have been checked and when I did, it may have been much worse than I ever feared. God has given me her for a reason too. I feel I should be on my knees thanking God each and every day for these blessings. My heart is full and I am trying to remember that each moment I feel the most scared and unsure.

I'm trying so hard to be positive. I really am. I'm scared to death and living in denial in every moment. Scared to death that I could really have cancer and living in denial that there is no way it could really happen to me. 

Emily {12 Month Photos and Stats}

Yesterday Emily had her ONE YEAR well-visit!

Here is her ONE YEAR POST.

I cannot believe my monkey-moo-moo is ONE!

Her stats:

Head - 50th percentile

Height - 75th percentile

Weight - 20 lbs 3 oz - 65th percentile

She was not a happy girl after getting three shots but she checked out nothing less than absolutely perfect {which we already knew!} !!

Here are her 12 Month Photos:

We LOVE our Emme-girl!

Appointments, Appointments

This past week we had some very important appointments and some wonderful milestones!


Monday, I took Natalee and Emily with me to Natalee's GI appointment at Children's. I won't lie and say that I wasn't nervous and scared to hear the answers to my questions. But surprisingly I was really reassured that she is healthy, happy and most likely nothing wrong with her at all. 


The doctor we saw was very sweet. He took his time reading over all of Natalee's paperwork, and let's be honest, that is not an easy task. He read the surgeons notes, NICU notes, and two hospital discharge summaries. He listened to me explain my concerns, asked me lots of questions, watched her play and eat and finally examined her and gave me his opinion.


First off, he said, she is most likely a bit constipated. This didn't surprise me at all. I have heard that can be the case for children on pedi-sure. He recommended using milk of magnesia for that. We will see how that goes. I haven't heard the best reviews on it for children since the taste is pretty bad, but if it helps her feel better, than wonderful!


He then ordered lots (12) of blood tests to test her for everything from vitamin deficiencies to thyroid issues to celiacs disease. He doubts any of it will come back with an issue. 


Basically, he said she is growing perfectly. She is proportionate. She has never lost weight or not gained any weight. She continues to eat healthy, gain weight and maintain proper growth. This made me very happy. He gave me ideas on how to help her gain weight, offering certain food choices and making sure she eats full meals and not snacks. He also supported me 100% on offering no juice. He said it's totally empty calories and just gives them the sweet taste along with making them more thirsty. I was happy to hear. I am only offering juice once in awhile, like maybe once a week, but of course they are getting water all of the time. They have a water cup in their beds and in their playroom which is refilled daily. We will be big water drinkers!


After waiting for the doctor to come back in and give us our paper work, both girls fell asleep. I cannot tell you how good these girls are! I am truly blessed with well behaved girls...for now!

She loves her glowy.

So, anyway, we went downstairs and had the blood drawn. Again, I hate seeing my girls in pain, but I cannot tell you how good Natalee did! She was so awesome! The nurse was looking and looking for her veins and saying how hard it was going to be and she got it on the first try. I thanked her up and down. Natalee didn't even cry with the needle, only when they tied the gloves around her arm. I was so proud of her!


And then on Wednesday we all went to the eye doctor to make sure, since they were preemies, this is just normal routine check-ups. The appointment was VERY long, two full hours in all. So we had drops put in, then let them run around and had a picnic lunch in the common area. It all worked out great! All girls checked-out perfectly too. Amen! They will have to go back at 2 years old and then again at 5 years old. Hoping for good reports all along!


Next week...I have to get my root canal finished and become baby proofed...! ;) Two very different but important appointments. LOL!

Emily's Appointment

Some of you may know that I have been a little concerned with the way Emily breaths, since  she has been born. When she was born, she had what is called "reactive breathing", which just means the baby is breathing a little harder then normal, and it is shown by the sides of her lungs going in farther than they should. All went well though and she was fine within an hour or so. I really didn't think anything of it once she came home.

But the past few months I have noticed how far her chest and sometimes throat indent when she breaths. It definitely looks a little strange to me. I only really notice it when she is in the bath tub or I am changing her clothes because, well, I don't keep her naked. She has never had any choking incidents, or stopped breathing or looked like she couldn't catch her breath but many people have commented on how loud of a breather she is, so at our 2 month appointment, I asked our pediatrician about it.

She watched her breath for a good five minutes and pointed out some things to me and asked me a lot of questions. On the outside, listening into Emily's lungs, everything sounded great and  there was no issues with her getting enough air. I was very happy about that. However, the doctor was a little concerned about a condition called "pectis excavatum" and so she gave us a referral for a pediatric pulmanalogist. Basically it's where the breast bone is sunken into the chest wall, and can look like a hole in the middle of the chest when breaths are taken, which is exactly what it looks like on Emily. However, if I hadn't pointed it out to the doctor (or anyone else) you probably wouldn't even notice. But me, being her mother and knowing every inch of my babies body, I did, I knew it was something different than in her sisters.


I looked for a photo that you could see it on her, but this was all I had. It was barley visible, and unless you watch her breath, you won't see it too much, but it has become a little more prominent.

Look right in the middle of her chest, it almost looks like a little shadow, but it's a little indented hole.

The appointment was last Friday and I sure learned a lot. (And Emily was weighed and she was 11lbs. 4oz.!!!) First of all, Emily does, unfortunately have this condition known as, pectis excavatum. The doctor took one look at her and diagnosed her right away, which I was very surprised at. However, she does not have any of the symptoms at this time, most likely due to it being a mild case. Her oxygen levels are great which was a great sign, however he still wanted me to get an xray to make sure all of her organs were properly placed and this abnormality wasn't causing any issues. After the xray, we went right back over to the office and he took a look at the films and said she is perfect inside. No issues at all. Thank goodness.

We can't really do anything for this condition and hopefully it will correct itself on it's own, possible in just a few months. Once the chest muscles become stronger, they will most likely "fill in the gap". Like I said, if you looked at her, you probably wouldn't notice anything, but there is a difference. I am so glad though that it isn't bad.

The doctor said she should be fine and correct itself, so we are praying that is the case.

And for now, the loud breathing is just a lovely characteristic she got from her Daddy!