Guest Post #1

Here is the first of some lovely ladies that sent me guests posts to post while we were on vacation, but since I never scheduled any...I thought I would do a guest post every other day while you read about your vacation!

Hope you enjoy!

I'm Jamie from over at Jamie's Journey Through Life (jamiesjourneythroughlife.blogspot.com).  A brief little bit about me, I am 17 and a Senior in high school.  I have a brother, a half brother and two step brothers.  One of my favorite things to do in the summer is babysit.

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Today I'm going to be talking about what parents should look for in a babysitter.  I have babysat for my cousins for four years, plus my half brother many times and also babysat for a family with four kids once.  So I've had my far share of babysitting experiences.  This is what I think a parent should look for while looking for someone to babysit for their precious children.

1. Someone that loves children.  I definitely believe that in order to babysit, you have to love children.  Babysitting can be easy but can be hard on some days.  I think you have to have a love for children to get through those hard days and it makes babysitting more enjoy to love children and to enjoy watching them. :)
2. Someone that is accountable and trustworthy.  I believe that a person has to be accountable and trustworthy in order to be babysitter.  You need to have the peace of mind that they will be there to babysit when you need them and you can trust them with the care of your most priced possession, your child(ren). :)
3. Someone that makes your child(ren) happy.  It's so important that your children like the babysitter.  The children should look forward to having the babysitter.  If the child(ren) doesn't like the babysitter, it makes it no fun for anyone.
4. Someone that can drive.  Definitely not needed but it is nicer if they can. :)  I know this from experiences.  Until this summer, I was not able to drive so you were stuck at home and it makes it harder.  If they can drive, they can take your children to the park, library, bowling, ect.  It's more fun for the kids, wears out the children for you and makes it easier on the babysitter. :)

It was an honor to be blogging for Holly today.  I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writting for you all today!

Remember to keep all these great tips that Jamie suggested in mind anytime you are looking for a babysitter for your children! You can NEVER be too careful!

Prayers Needed for my Babies Please!

The next few weeks we have some very important doctors appointments coming up. Unfortunately.


Back when Madelynn had a UTI in September of 2011, we were suppose to go to Children's Hospital to make sure she didn't have reflux of the ureter (click link about for the info on it), but after a phone consultation with the urologist, he decided not to see her unless she got another one. I felt okay with this because we had just been at the beach where she was in a wet diaper, in pool water for the first time (which can have lots of germs) and she is a girl, which girls are more prone to having UTI's, even as infants.


Well, at our last visit with our pediatrician, she asked if we could consider Madelynn getting screened because she had looked back at her ER visit and really felt that she wanted Madelynn checked out. Of course I followed my doctors suggestions. But, my poor baby girl. By the way, she has had no other issues with UTI's or low-grade fevers, which can be a sign too.


So I made an appointment with Children's Imaging Center and it's for Thursday afternoon. I have been seriously dreading this appointment and am having a lot of anxiety over it. It's so hard when you know you are taking you sweet, happy child for something that is going to cause her a lot of pain and discomfort. I seriously get a pit in my stomach every time I think about this. I rather live without my right arm for the rest of my life instead of have any of my babies experience the least bit of pain!


Basically she will have a abdominal/renal sonogram, followed by a Fluoroscopic voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG), where they put in a catheter and enter dye into the bladder and see how far it goes, if at all, to the kidneys. There are different stages of the reflux but we are hoping she has none. 


I asked my mom to go with me (Tim will be watching the other girls) and I rather him come to the actual follow-up appointment to meet with the doctor instead. I know Madelynn will need her Momma and so I need mine too! I hope I don't get too emotional. I just hate causing pain to my baby and when she had the catheter done in the ER, I about passed out! There will also be a "patient-lets-make-this-the-best-and-easiest-we-possibly-can" person to help out with favorite videos, toys and snacks while the procedure is going on. I'll be loading up my bag with all her favorite things too!


I'm sure we won't get any answers at the imagining center before meeting with the doctor, but if so I will update everyone.


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Also, Natalee has had no issues for the past year regarding her complications with NEC and bowel surgery, but since she is still on the small side for her age, like 1% on the normal growth chart, our pediatrician would also like her to be seen by a GI doctor at Children's Hospital. Her appointment is in the middle of April. It wasn't a too urgent of an issue, so this was the first available without having to travel into DC. And if I can avoid that, I will.


Natalee will most likely have some labs done to rule out any issues like celiac's disease and other nutrient-robbing diseases. The part of her bowel that was removed was a very key area in nutrient absorbing, apparently, so we just want to make sure that everything is working properly.  She is doing great though on her Pedisure drinks and has gained more weight on them than ever before on just formula. She is completely proportionate and does not have that "sick" look that I have seen in other kids with celiacs. 


If anything shows in her blood work, we will go from there. I really do not think there will be anything but the reassurance in the blood work will be comforting, and at least not too painful!


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To be completely honest, I am really glad to have both my babies checked out. I would HATE for something to be wrong and have know I could have done something about it and didn't. I would never let myself live that down. But the anxiety is killing me. I wish it was me needing to have things done and not my sweet little babies. Just thinking about them being scared and not understanding what is going on tears me up to pieces. I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me nuts! How do you handle these types of situations? I think I have anxiety over stuff that hurts them so much more because of the NICU. I just never want to see them hooked up to things, go through things that hurt them or anything else remotely close. I seriously have issues, I know. I just don't know how to handle it because instantly I am brought back to my daughter's bedside as she lay there almost dying or leaving my girls each night as I let others care for them when it should have been ME (read this for how I got them to FINALLY sleep through the night after 11.5 months of dealing with these emotions)! I hate this. I hate that it eats at me. I need to let it go and just when I think it has, and I am healing, things like this come up and I feel the anxiety creep back in. It just eats at me that they would ever have to experience pain that I can't fix for them. I know it may sound stupid to some because they are going to scrap their knees and hit their heads, and have their hearts broken by boys but it's more than that. It's the bigger things, the things I can't control. I know it's all for their best interest, it still just hurts my heart to ever see them in pain, scared or no sure of whats going on.


 I thank you for all your prayers for my sweet girls and will update when we know anything.

Biting Advice?!

I have a house full of biting animals! Ah!


I'm sure it's a little worse because all three of the girls are the same age and are constantly going after the same toys.

I swear everyday, if I turn my back for a second...I hear the shrieks of someone getting bit! It is so not fun and I hate running to the rescue to see a full mouth of teeth imprint on someone's arm or back or head, even!

Natalee normally is the one getting bit..by either Madelynn or Claire, obviously! But Madelynn is the main biter. She does it out of frustration and it is normally over a toy or even when I pick her up and she isn't getting what she wants, she will go and try to bite me!


We are starting "time-outs" but they don't understand and just seem to smile at the attention.


So what have you more experienced Mom's out there done for biting? Going to be doing a lot of research and trying to see what's best for teaching children not to bite! Any advice is welcome though!

How I Got My Triplets to SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!!!!

Where do I begin with this? I am still in shock and still waiting for them to revert back to their old ways, but after almost a month, I am thinking I can spill what I did and not jinx myself! But I cannot take all the credit for this, I had a wonderful motivator!

-The Background-

The girls had been getting up many times...many, many times. Natalee would have some good nights, then some bad nights, even though I always said she was my best sleeper. She doesn't necessarily want her bottle, just her Momma and she will put up a good fight to get me to go in and pick her up. I hated letting her cry, even though I knew it was all just a game. As soon as she would see me and I pick her up, she was all, "ohh" "eee", so happy and content! Little booger and I knew I was just being played! She would do this many, many times a night, just to see me. And I always gave in. Bad Mommy!


Madelynn, when she would wake up, she would be literally throwing herself across the crib, foaming at the mouth, screaming so loudly and practically making herself throw up by gagging constantly because she was crying so hard. No kidding. No exaggeration...DRAMA QUEEN! Then Claire would wake up and be so upset, she would do the same, but she would cry into her sheets, so not as loudly.


If I even let them cry five minutes, this would happen. And then I had 3 completely uncontrollable screaming babies! 


All would be solved if I walked in and gave warm bottles. That was their ONLY way they would calm down. Even just a few sucks and all in life was better, 4 ounces, and they would roll over and go to sleep. 

-I tried SO many things and suggestions-

I gave water, cold, warm, room temperature, it didn't work. 


Binkis or Lovies never worked in the middle of the night. 


Some nights, Madelynn would drink 30 ounces, yes, 30 ounces, each in 4 ounce bottles. Count how many times I would be up just with her on those nights. So, I tried giving more in a bottle during the first time she woke up to see if she would then sleep for a few extra hours. Not so much. Never worked. 


Tried giving them a different formula, that just upset them off even more, and didn't work.


I tried letting them scream, and then they would all be screaming, for hours. I didn't like that. It didn't work.


We have a great schedule, the same every day. My girls do not have a problem with falling asleep, they go in their cribs awake with no problem. It is strictly in the middle of the nights. I asked the doctor and she suggested having them drink and eat more during the day, and that didn't work either.


I consulted every book I could find, read what others did, researched about multiples in one room together....nothing gave me the answers. I would just laugh and think, yeah right that won't work on my foaming-at-the-mouth children!

-My Issues are Big too-

I felt bad for them and me. I still have guilt from leaving my babies in the NICU and not being able to come to them when they cried, how horrible it was knowing I wasn't there to be with them when all they wanted was their Momma. I swear it will haunt me until the day I die. You don't know the pain you could have in your heart until it's your flesh and blood that you have to leave each day, so little, so vulnerable, so alone. Now I am here for them and letting them cry is just so, so, so hard. Way too hard for me. I read about all the dangers there are when you let them cry as some researchers say, and how they can become less attached to their Momma and have trust issues later on in life. Every way of some sleep-training out there, has supportive and not-so supportive research. It's all so confusing and it can be SO controversial.


But, regardless what I was trying wasn't working. I knew that. Some nights I just layed in bed crying myself and praying to God that I would find some answer into what I was doing wrong, and where the answers were. Multiples are hard. Hard. This was proving to be the hardest transition so far for me, and them.


I was at my wits end, actually I was at my wits end for weeks, months...enough was enough. I just kept saying "tomorrow" or "later" when they aren't sick, or teething or just wanting their Momma. 


But regardless, I knew it was a habit that they formed. Nothing more. They are not needing a bottle, they just are wanting bottle. Habits are hard to break though.

-Transition-

So, one night I decided this was it: an 8 ounce night-time bottle and then one 4 ounce bottle in the middle of the night. I can deal with getting up once, but not ten or fifteen times. The first night, it was a Thursday, it somewhat worked. I was up until 2am listening to them on the monitor, crying myself. It was pure hell. I hated myself. I felt like such a bad Mommy. I finally gave in, because I wanted some sleep myself. It was so exhausting and again, I just said, forget it. They each had two bottles I believe, which was an improvement I thought, but not for me. I was a mess. I was even mad at myself for doing it to them, even though they woke up with smiles on their faces.


The next day, I research more and referred to my books. I can  and I was going to figure this out. I am smarter than my children, for now. They are barely one. I am in charge. I am THE MOMMY!


I found a "sleep lady" and talked to her for a few minutes. I even made an appointment with her for two weeks later, because if by then my method of "operation-no-method" wasn't working then I will pay the $150 to meet with her. Also, I consulted some ladies on Facebook. The dreaded, so-much-I-hate Facebook. 

-Motivation-

Luckily my close friend, The Diaper Diva, Melissa called me and we talked for awhile and I found out what she did with her two young boys. It was simply amazing and gave me this motivation I can't even describe!! She knows me inside and out and I respect her so much as a friend, wife and mother. She is one of very few go-to mom's that I trust one hundred percent, and we are so alike that I know if she can do it, so can I. 


I really learned SO much from our conversation! She hit every nail on the head; on developmentally what the girls were doing, how I was feeling and how easily this problem could be solved. One main thing was that they are NOT going to die from crying. Sometimes they need to cry. Sometimes it's good for them. Sometimes that's how they get that excess energy out. I knew it was a game with them, a habit, but I needed reassurance. They are not truly hungry even though they drink the whole bottle. They are old enough to learn. I knew they were smart enough to get me to come in, so they are smart enough to know that I am not coming in because it's night-time and time to sleep!! 


So that night I was so excited for bed-time and couldn't wait to try out all the wonderful tricks and suggestions Melissa told me. My I can't do this-I'm a bad mommy and mean attitude was out the door!

-Friday Night-

At bed time, I changed a few very small things. Instead of letting them fall asleep with their bottle, as sometimes they would, I made sure they were still awake when they were finished with their bottle. I left the light on and the door open a little longer, going in and out while they drank their bottles, until they were all done. Once they were all done, I then took the bottle, gave them their binki and lovie, turned off the lights and shut the door. I made sure they drank all 8 ounces. Natalee doesn't sometimes, but she at least drinks 6 ounces.


Still kept on the white noise machine and lullaby's all night. 

Once they went to bed and fell asleep, I let them be. I turned off the monitor and just knew that it would be so much better if I didn't hear them crying at all. Of course if they really cry, I will hear them anyway since our door is open and their room is right down the hall, but it won't wake me up unless they are really screaming. I was ok with it. To be honest, it wasn't that hard! Once I fell asleep, I woke up only a few times to them crying and I just kept telling myself, they won't die from crying, they are smart girls, they are playing me, I am THE MOMMY and I am in charge here!!!! I DID NOT GO IN! Never once! 


I gave them each a 4 ounce bottle at 3AM (because ya know, if you are used to eating a full meal in the middle of the night and then someone takes it completely away, that is not so nice, so I elected to do this for three nights and then take that 4 ounces away). I walked in handed bottles out and walked straight out of the room. And it worked perfectly. They woke up Saturday morning at 9:00am, with smiles on their faces! (see, I'm telling you, it was FAR MORE traumatic to me than them!!!)

-Saturday Night-

Same situation, but less crying, one bottle each. Woke up at 9am, with smiles! I got WAY more confident! I AM doing the right thing.

-Sunday Night-

No crying what-so-ever! In complete disbelief! Gave Natalee her bottle at 5am, she only drank 2 ounces. Didn't pick her up, nothing. Right back to sleep. Everyone slept until 9am, woke up with smiles! No questions, THIS IS WORKING!!!!!


I began to realize I owe Melissa more than I can provide in one lifetime. I pray she has a special place in Heaven. She has been my Savior!

-The Last 3 Weeks-

Each night that passed was better and better. I did turn the monitor back on, finally. I am still in disbelief. Occasionally one of them wakes up, and I hear them but it literally lasts for a few minutes and they are back to sleep. Even Madelynn; there is no foaming, no throwing herself across the crib, no gagging. Natalee, can still put up a good fight at times, but literally the crying is under ten minutes, if that. 


They are going to bed at 7:30PM and normally I have to wake them up at 9:00AM!


Also, I can go in their room now and they don't scream even harder when I leave. It's amazing. I can pick them up, give them hugs and kisses, assure them that I am right there, that it's night-time and time to sleep and they go right back to sleep. Nothing else needed. AH-MA-ZING!!!!


Their naps have improved too, (even though they took great scheduled naps prior to this) they are totally sleeping from 1:00PM until 4:00PM, no peeps what-so-ever and when we normally have to wake them up!

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I must say, I was completely and utterly is disbelief, totally against doing anything that might, by research accounts, "harm my baby" but let me tell you, I HAVE MY LIFE BACK and my children are NOT harmed the least bit! This is the most wonderful gift I have been given! I can't tell you how lucky I feel and how IT PROVES that I was the one HOLDING THEM BACK. I swore I would never do that and I was. I was the one making this happen, not them. I feel bad for that. They wanted to sleep through the night, and I wasn't giving them the tools to be able to do so. I am so glad I didn't wait for "tomorrow" or "the next day" and I did it finally. It may have taken me awhile, but I am so glad I didn't wait ONE MORE DAY!


I swore nothing would work for MY CHILDREN. I was wrong. Letting them find their own and figuring out how they can soothe themselves really does work. I am SO for it and I am SO glad I finally did it. Thank you, Melissa, from the bottom of my heart!


If anyone has any questions, please do not hesitate to leave a comment or email me!

ONE YEAR AGO: December 23rd!!

I woke up that morning in lots of pain. I couldn't bend my knees anymore. I needed complete assistance to use the bathroom or even just turn over in bed. All the swelling that was in my lower legs was pushed up on to my thighs and by half way through the night, I got to take them off because it got so bad and so itchy. I was so grateful but the damage was already done. My terbutaline pump was out and my contractions were very frequent. I so wish I had photos of what my legs looked like. It's just unimaginable. No one could believe how bad it really was, until they saw it for themselves.


Thank goodness for my supportive, loving and caring husband who never left my side and took great care of me all night through, even though he had to lay on an inch-wide bench. Around 7am, people were already sworming my room getting things ready for the delivery, which was scheduled for 10:30am. My mom came and all I wanted to do was take a shower and wash my hair before I was going to be bed-ridden for awhile. Little did I know! I am so glad I took that shower. I could barely stand, and thank goodness for my mom who basically washed my hair and back and never left my side in the shower. Because I wasn't in a recovery room and still in a labor and delivery room, I had a bath tub, not a walk in shower and I just remember how hard it was to get over the tub. I could not lift my legs or bend them by myself, I'll never forget that. It was something you can not imagine unless you have been there. It was unbelievable. Not to be able to sit on a toilet, sit on the edge of the bed, just walk. It was horrible. As I was drying and straightening my hair, I never remember being sad or anything. Still I just don't remember feeling like I was about to give birth. I was so sick and focused on how horrible I was, I guess I really didn't have time to think about the actual delivery that was upon me, nor did I actually believe it was about to happen.


I remember Dr. Pinckert (who has a daughter named Madelynn Christine) coming in and one of the NICU doctors, Dr. Boykin (also who has a daughter named Madelynn, we learned later on) talking to me about everything. It seemed like such a blur. All the NICU gibberish...I had no idea how much I would learn in the weeks and months to come!


Tim was given his scrubs and he changed and I thought he looked so cute. Haha, I also remember him taking the last photos of me and my big belly! The pictures just do not do it justice! I also wish I had photos of my legs and feet!


My dad took some video and I am so thankful I have that video and what I looked like moments before delivery! Something I will cherish forever!

You can see how fat and swollen my fingers looked!! Yuck!

I remember after seeing Dr. Pinckert and talking about the pre-ecalmpsia and how bad it was, that's when the emotions started. I remember sitting on the edge of the bed and my mom sitting behind me and I just cried and cried. The time was coming and I finally was scared, sad and all of the sudden so not ready for what was upon me!


I started walking down the hall and saying good-bye to my parents. I was so emotional and pretty much just a mess. I walked so slow. I wanted to remember every feeling and emotion I was having before I was to become a Mommy. I wanted to remember how swollen I was. How sick I was. How scared I was. How big and extended my belly was. How it felt to be pregnant. How it felt to be pregnant with three babies! How I was still so blessed to have carried TRIPLETS and now I was about to deliver TRIPLETS!


I sat on the edge of the bed with the nurses and was just hysterical because all of the sudden everything was so real, and my life was about to change FOREVER. This is what I had waited my entire life for and yet I was so not ready all of the sudden. Not ready to let my big belly go. Not ready not to feel these girls inside of me every again. My heart would be outside of my body divided in three little girls forever. I will never forget all those emotions. I just wanted to hold and rub my big belly for just a few more minutes. I apologized for crying and told the nurses I just wanted to remember these last few minutes with my big belly before it was all over. The waiting to become pregnant and then being pregnant, it was all over. It may have felt like an eternity but in that moment it felt like it had gone by in the blink of an eye. I never knew if God would bless me to be able to carry another baby ever again and so I just wanted that moment to last a little longer than it did. 


The nurses were so sweet and held my hands while my spinal was being done. I was a little nervous about it but really it was nothing. The anesthesiologist was so nice and comforting and before I knew it he was all done. As I layed down, I took one last look at my BIG belly and said a prayer. I was glad when the spinal started taking affect because laying flat on my back was very difficult and very uncomfortable with all the weight.


Tim came in and I was so happy to see his face. He gave me a kiss and suddenly I was just fine. Slowly the spinal kept taking affect. I remember all the numerous people in the room. The three warmers with nurses, NICU doctors, surgeons, the anesthesiologist, breathing support for the girls and who knows how many other people. I was just so thankful for technology at that moment too, it sounds funny at the time, but I just remember thanking God for having so much advanced technology and such educated people being able to assist us in having babies and now all the support to save my babies and give them the best start at life they could possibly have. So many aren't so lucky and I am so thankful!


Within minutes Dr. Pinckert was in the room and ready to go. He kept asking if I could feel him pushing on my tummy, and I kept saying, "yes, I can feel that!!" I was scared they would start cutting and I would be able to feel it, but when they started I never felt anything, although my feet never went completely numb.


Another few minutes and I began getting cold and shaking uncontrollably. It was pure hell and SO painful. I have never had so much pain in my neck from the shaking and I kept asking the anesthesiologist if that was normal and he always was so kind and put his hand on my shoulder and reassured me nothing was wrong. It was all normal. My blood pressure stayed high, but didn't budge during the c-section. Praise Jesus.


Tim stood up to watch his daughters come into the world and before I knew it, I heard a cry. The first cry of my daughter. I immediately got tears in my eyes and was a mess. I looked up at Tim's eyes and he showed the same emotion and gave me a big smile while squeezing my hand. It was pure wonder. We were finally parents. Parents to a little girl, our Baby A, our sweet little Madelynn Christine. I didn't get to see her, although I knew she was to the left of me in the first of the three warmers with the nurses. Within one minute, Baby B was born, a little identical twin girl to Baby A, our sweet Claire Elizabeth. We never heard Claire cry because even though she came out the easiest said the doctor, she did not want to breath at all on her own. She was put on the ventilator very quickly and pretty much rushed out of the room within minutes. I saw her through the incubator with the nurses breathing for her and that was it. Just a very quick glance at a tiny little baby. My daughter.

At the time of course I knew nothing of why she was being taken so fast, I didn't think anything of it in fact. A minute after Claire was born, our third daughter, Baby C was brought into the world. Our fraternal triplet, our sweet peanut, Natalee Lynn. Natalee was cleaned off and actually brought over to us to see her. It was magical. Pure elation. I got to give a kiss to my daughter and touch her. She was perfect. She was pink and warm and so beautiful. I never wanted to let go, but I knew I had to. She was so small and so not ready to be out in the world quite yet. She was so strong though and little did we know how strong she really was. Stronger than her big sisters even. She was a fighter from the time she took her first breath. No ventilator needed at all. 

So within three minutes, my whole heart was divided outside of my body and my world was changed forever. My love was uncontrollable for the three little girls Tim and I were so blessed with. Oh God is good! I was so thankful and so emotional.


I remember through the uncontrollable shaking that I started smelling something burning. The anesthesiologist asked Tim to sit down, after he had watched all of his daughters come into the world and take their first breath. I had no idea how hard it was to get Natalee out of my extremely extended uterus or what was happening in the minutes after her birth. I asked Tim what was going on, and he just said, "they are pouring buckets of water in you." Interesting, I thought, okay, that must be normal.


I had started to bleed and bleed and bleed. The bleeding wouldn't stop. It got worse in fact. Dr. Pinckert was very confused and taken back. Everything he was trying wasn't working and he said I had already lost a lot of blood. He decided to start some drugs that would make me contract and hopefully stop the hemorrhaging. I really had no idea what was going on, where I was bleeding from or what would happen. All I could think about was my little girls. I just didn't know anything other than I was bleeding from the back of my uterus, where it separated from my abdominal wall after Natalee was born. She was just so stuck up inside of me and when she was pulled out, my uterus just collapsed and therefore along with the extremely severe pre-eclampsia, there was no way around the bleeding. (I have learned A LOT about the situation through this year, from different doctors and even though Dr. Pinckert handled it very well and did his best, he should have known that 100% I was going to hemorrhage and therefore should have predicted it and been more prepared for it and there were many OTHER things he could have done which would have prevented this entire story below.) 


Finally, the doctors just decided to sew me up and hope for the best and that the bleeding would finally stop. I was started on the wonderful magnesium sulfate for my blood pressure, which is a horrible drug and makes you completely unaware and even hallucinate. I was covered with warm blankets and transferred to another bed and then rolled into recovery. I don't remember being rolled into recovery at all, all I remember is waking up to my mom. She was there and then my dad. My MIL came back and my sister and then Tim. Tim had already gone to check on the girls. I was completely out of it and drifting in and out of consciousness the entire time. The nurses kept coming and pushing on my stomach and watching the blood hit the floor. Yeah...hitting the floor. I was severely bleeding and my blood pressure started to rise.


Finally, someone decided to move me into the Labor and Delivery room, a different room than I left when I went into the OR. I remember being wheeled in there and apparently my family and friends had been in there for awhile eating pizza and such...brats! I was still out of it and still bleeding. I remember my best friend was there and some of my family, but I can't remember who. I do remember the nurses and doctors in the room pushing on me more and more blood hitting the floor. (My best friend told me a lot of the details I wasn't aware of after the fact.) I was bleeding very badly. My mom was in the room and Tim too. The doctor asked everyone else to leave and he asked for anesthesiology to come back, because I was gaining more feeling and it was pleasant. He said, he was trying everything but nothing seemed to be working. He asked then for the surgeon to come back and also asked the nurses to clear an OR room if needed. That's when I really knew I was in danger. It was hard for me to comprehend everything, but I knew something was terribly wrong and this was not normal at this point. I was given more drugs to sedate me, amen. I didn't want to feel anything. I was so swollen and the doctors and nurses tried to extend my legs up in the air and put them in stirrups which was EXTREMELY painful because my legs would not move, nor could they because of how swollen I was. 


Finally after awhile, an hour or so of the doctors working on me, they just couldn't do it. They said they would have to take me back to the OR. I asked if Tim could come and they said no. I was scared. I remember looking at him in shear fear. I was so scared. Dr. Pinckert said there was a good chance that I could loose my uterus and if he needed to do it to save my life, he would. Of course I didn't care what needed to be done to save my life, but I was so scared and so not ready for that thought. I was only 24 years old, I told Tim no, no, no and he said, "look honey, we have three beautiful and healthy daughters, whatever has to be done, has to be done. It'll be okay." I didn't want to leave him but I had no choice, it was clearly an emergency now. I don't even remember saying good-bye again to anyone but Tim. I was so cold and still shaking so badly. As soon as I got back to the OR, the sweet older surgeon was still there and he brought me warm blanket after warm blanket. (Even the nurses were complaining how cold it was in the room.) I will never forget how sweet the surgeon was though. The brought in "candy cane stirrups" and I remember joking and saying, tis the season and everyone laughed. It seemed to take forever for them to get started but they wanted to call in a million people back in case I needed the hysterectomy, so they waited for the anesthesiologist to be ready in case I needed more sedation. 


Even though I knew I was sick, I really didn't know how truly sick I was. I remember how hard it was for my legs to go back up in the stirrups and how I felt like an elephant was on top of me. They began to work for awhile longer and finally were hoping that what they did was going to work and stop the bleeding. I asked what they were doing and they told me that they used a catheter to put a balloon up inside me through my cervix to the top of my uterus and then slowly filled it with water to "clot" me and then filled me with yards and yards (no really!!) of gauze! They also pumped me with loads of anti-bioitics too for fear of infection.


Finally I was rolled back into the Labor and Delivery room, and almost immediately started with my blood transfusions. Within minutes of getting blood, I remember feeling so much better and everyone said the color in my face returned. I had lost about 1/4 of my blood, so I had two transfusions with the possibility of more the following days.


Of course everyone wanted to see the girls but Tim was so focused on me and how I was doing that he put a hold on everyone seeing the girls until he knew how I was and he could be assured I was okay and safe. Finally when he was able to see me, he took our family back and forth to the NICU to see the girls but Tim had very strict orders that no one was allowed to hold them until I did. This was something Tim and I never discussed but I guess he knew what I would want. I thank him from the bottom of my heart for that decision. He got to hold Natalee and Madelynn first during the first two days of their life, and then I was able to hold Claire first on Christmas morning. (more on that on Christmas day!)


I was still very out of it for the rest of the day and still on the magnesium. Traumatized a little and still scared. I had some visitors but I don't remember much of the rest of the day. I do, however remember how thirsty I was. I was so thirsty and  all I was given was ice chips and my wonderful husband who was told not to let me eat but a few, was very conservative on the ice. I was ready to kill him. I was just so thirsty but he went with the doctors orders.


Finally they allowed me to have some water. And then I was able to eat some clear liquids and they gave me some yellow jello, which wasn't lemon, but it was the best darn thing in the world. I would have done anything for that jello and to be honest, I am looking forward to it this time, hahaha! Just something with taste, was so yummy. 


I wanted my mom to stay with me overnight so she went home for a little while and then came back. I was give pain medication and soon thereafter started throwing up. It took a few times before I realized it was from the pain medication. It was not fun to continuously puke all over myself, wake up my mom and Tim, have the nurses clean me up, change the sheets and then do it all over again. It's hard to puke while laying down, in bed and not being able to move at all! I couldn't sit up barely at all because of the swelling in my upper legs and the balloon. No fun!


I can't remember whether I slept any that night or not, just that the next day was Christmas Eve and I had still not been able to see my little sweet girls.

All Beacause 2 People Fell in Love...

All because 2 people fell in love...

 Less than 10% chance of having children "on our own".

12 long months of unsuccessful attempts at pregnancy.

62% chance of successful IVF.

2% chance of triplets.

1 out of 535 births are triplets, quads or more.

1 out of 250 births are identical twins.

3 daughters, 1 set of identical twins and a fraternal, at 24 years old.

Born at 32 weeks and 2 days.

2 days before Christmas.

7 weeks and 5 days premature.

49 long days in the NICU.

Less than 10% chance of ever having more children "on our own".

1% chance of getting pregnant on birth control while taken as directed.

4 months between pregnancies.

4 children; 4 girls at 26 years old.

13-14 months apart.

=

1 happy and blessed beyond words family!

Prematurity Awareness Month!!

Novemeber represents something near and dear to my heart. It's Prematurity Awareness Month and November 17th is Awareness Day!

1 in 8 babies are born too soon, that being around 13 million babies each year. Our family was one of the lucky ones, who have babies survive due to the loads of technology and wonderful angel hands whom cared for them.

December 23rd, 2010 was a hard day but FULL of happy blessings, where I delievered our beautiful preemie girls at just 32w2d. They weighed 3 lbs. 14 ounces (M and C) and 2 lbs. 13 ounces (N) but we were very lucky that they were so healthy and strong, even while needing lots of attention and NICU support.

Yes, our situation was unique...I KNEW my babies would be preemies, no matter what, from the very beginning, so I could prepare, educate myself and learn coping strategies to deal with the inevitable circumstances, but that did not make it any easier. 
So many babies and so many families aren't so lucky! Which is SO sad and SO unfair!

It costs over 26 billion dollars to take care of preemies and when the prematurity birth rate has risen over 36% in the last 25 years, that is quite alarming!
But luckily we have wonderful organizations like The March of Dimes, willing to support and help research, technology and bring awareness to prematurity across our country.

Sleep Issues and Book Reviews: The Happiest Baby on the Block and The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program

This past week we have had some terrible, terrible nights in our house with no sleeping. Madelynn has been driving me crazy at night for some unknown reason and thus made me pull out every trick known-to-mom. I think we finally figured it out, or a combination of things that could have been the problem(s). More on her progress at the end of the post.

But since I was at my wits-end, I quickly read through two books I found at the library on sleep and sleep problems/issues/challenges:

The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Baby Sleep Longer by Harvery Karp, MD

and

The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program: Follow Your Child's Natural Sleep Rhythms For Better Nights and Naps by Polly Moore, Phd

These reviews are much shorter than my last review, but I just wasn't as convinced with these books on ideas for sleep.

I'll first start with The Happiest Baby on the Block, which is written by a pediatrician. I thought it was an ok read. It is a really great book if you have no clue how to parent or care for a newborn. If I had not had all the experience I had before my girls were born, I'm sure this book would have taught me a lot, but since it really focuses on newborns until 6 months, I didn't find much use in anything that I read to use now.

It focuses on The 5 S's...which are Swaddling, Side (or Stomach), Shhhhh-ing, Swinging and Sucking and how to combine all five to create a calm baby to sleep the longest possible. Most of this I did and some I still do, but like I said, if you are a first parent and have no idea what to do and want some advice, I think this is actually a pretty good and easy read too.

There were kind-of strange little facts in the books, like this one: History has recorded that Alexander the Great, Julius Caesar, and Jesus were all swaddled as babies (pg.109). Really? How do you know that? Where is that listed? I'd like to know, because I'm not sure if Mary wrote down that Jesus was swaddled, but maybe??

The next book, The 90-Minute Baby Sleep Program was strange to me. I really didn't think there was much use to this book, and probably could have written a better book myself after only 6 months of trying different sleep solutions for my three. I didn't learn anything new, I guess, but not that it was not well written or anything like that. It did however, reiterate what I am doing, which that I was glad for. Such things as, putting the baby to bed early often leads to baby sleeping longer, following baby's natural sleep patterns, never letting a baby stay up more than 90 minutes when they are newborns, making sure baby is warm, making sure baby is getting enough napping during the day but not too much, how to get baby to sooth herself on her own, not picking her up when she cries at night and making a sleep plan and STICKING TO IT!

It also goes through a lot of "what if's" and common sleep problems that many parents face, which I did find good to read, especially since it focused on many of the issues I saw in Madelynn.

But after reading these two books and of course my favorite book of 12 Hours of Sleep by 12 Weeks Old,  I just decided to do a few different things in hopes to get Madelynn back on the same page as her sisters.

Our issues were: Waking every hour and flipping over onto her back and then playing/talking which then lead to screaming (not crying, but just more like "hey Mom come flip me back over on my tummy NOOOOWWW!!!!") and then continuing the process about 25 times throughout the night. Which then this lead to getting way over-tired and crying and crying and crying and then wanting to eat more frequently and so on.

We tried diaper changes (dirty? or diaper rash? or was something was pulling? or pinching?) changed jammies (was she uncomfortablee? or mad she didn't get another jammie she wanted that night?--LOL, or didn't want socks? or wanted socks?, didn't want any pants and just a onesies?), no blanket (too hot?), extra blankets (too cold?), gas drops (was her tummy hurting? or was she too full?), tylenol (anything to help calm her down and/or teething?), gave her her lovie, put her music on.... I rocked her, held her, calmed her, sang to her, fed her, walked around with her in the dark..ALLLL NIGHT LONG. She would fall asleep, just enough for me to go lay back down and then BOOM, back to crying. It was miserable. And then Natalee would wake up and then Claire and then back to Madelynn. I just laid on their floor most of the night when they weren't screaming, almost crying myself because of how tired I was. Oh, and during this whole time, I was the one sick with laryngitis and a bad cold. I couldn't stop coughing, which kept waking them up too, it was just miserable all around!

It's hard to just let her cry it out because I risk waking the other two girls up. I let her cry it out as much as I could but it's hard to do so with multiples and emotionally--or even a single baby for that fact! 

So after reading the books, talking with my mom and my MIL, things changed and sleep got better for her and in turn everyone else too: I went back to rice cereal at night for Madelynn and only gave her a little bit of veggies with it (I had been giving her oatmeal cereal with veggies but maybe it didn't sit well in her tummy as well as rice cereal). She slept well. We got out of the house for the day. She slept well. We made her stay awake from 4:30pm until 8:30pm, NO MATTER WHAT. She slept well. I gave her tylenol before bed. She slept well.

It also might have been that we had moved Claire into her own bed and then this all started up so maybe she was just getting used to being alone also. It probably was a combination of all things and just growing pains. I am sure it will be not the last time that we have to re-evaluate our sleeping patterns and such. But since these improvements, Madelynn has slept from 8:30pm until around 5am, when Claire and Natalee normally wake-up to eat a quick 3 ounces and back to bed it is until 8:30/9:00am. I can't complain on that! We are all much, much happier!!

Follow-up to "Just my Thoughts"

After much consideration today, I feel I need to write a follow-up post this evening in reference to my post earlier today that has sparked so much controversy without realizing it would. Ok, I knew it would, but I didn't care much to be honest since it was my opinion and I think I should be able to share my opinion on MY blog without so much hate-mail. Thank you to those who understood what I was saying and all the nice and supportive emails and comments that I did receive. It's amazing that people can interpret one sentence one way and another person, a completely different way. I think it's a total shame that when I write something on MY blog I have to add a disclaimer or explain myself in ways so that every single person can understand exactly what I mean, but I will try my best in the future, and here I thought I did that in that post, but apparently I was wrong.

I am truly sorry if you were upset about my post, and please know that was NEVER my intention for anyone to feel like it's a "stab" at them or their situation. It is never my intentions to hurt any one's feelings (especially if I don't know you), and I never would post a post "at" someone, and I am not suggesting it anyway that what I do/feel/think is necessarily correct in any aspect of life, and especially in parenting. To each their own. Everyone has opinions and that is what makes life interesting, and on MY blog, I would like to post my feelings and opinions without criticism or people thinking I am "stabbing" at or hurting your feelings or the way you do something. And if you feel differently then me all I ask is to keep it to yourself. I wouldn't push what I think on your blog, so I just ask the same. I never mind suggestions or advice but taking what I say and thinking you know what I am saying out of context is just not fair. I share my feelings because they are my feelings, and I don't expect you to agree with me on everything. Everyone is different and everyone sees things differently. That's one of the blessings in life -- no one person is exactly the same. We all come form different places, different families and yet we can still share some of the same views but can be so different at the same time. We are all unique.

So anyway, I was NOT talking about being a stay at home mom (and that being the ONLY right way to parent) as so many thought I was. I was NOT making a stab at working moms either! Never, ever would I do that! Nor was I trying to make working moms feel guilty in any means.

My post was at NANNIES raising children and parent's (of multiples) complaining that they are tired after not doing anything (or much) with their children while they stay at home and have other people raise their children and do their chores. My whole post was on NANNIES, and if you didn't get that then I'm sorry, it wasn't on SAHM's, grand-parents or other family members helping, occasional babysitters, ect...

My GOAL was to just post some LIGHT on mom's of multiples who do it all themselves because I don't think there isn't enough recognition for that, just as their isn't enough recognition for working mom's either. I sure didn't know how hard it could be as a SAHM, I thought it would be the easiest job in the world with some challenges, and in turn I have learned that it is the hardest job to have. I get so sick of people asking me "don't you have help" like I automatically should have help because I had more than one baby at one time---and that just blows my mind! I don't have help and I think that is OK! It's OK to do things on your own and you CAN make it work, even as a mom of multiples! Sometimes, just as in anything, people can get frustrated, and I was just frustrated with all the posts I read each and every day about nannies and night nurses! That is all I was saying.
If anyone knows me IRL, you know that being a SAHM was never, ever something I wanted. I am a career-oriented woman and always have been and being a SAHM was just something that was not for me. I wanted to get a Bachelor's degree and then a Master's degree in the field of my choice and use it to the best of my knowledge. I always said that I could have it all--a career, a well-balanced household, a husband, children, ect.. SO many people always told me, "just wait until you have children, you'll change your mind" and I always thought there is no way I will ever stay at home with my kids! No way, not this girl, it just wasn't for me! I need stimulation, a life of my own, I need my own income, I need adults, I need to feel accomplished at the end of the day and I want a career that I have worked hard to create for myself. And all these things I still want and I will have one day, but right now I need to and want to stay at home with my children.

And, well, three children at ONE time can change that thought. Daycare for three infants is expensive and I know this well since my mom owns and directs a daycare center. Three infant slots would approximately be $900 dollars PER week. I don't know many social workers, even with Master's degrees that make much more than that, so honestly I had to come to terms with NOT getting a job right now, and NOT starting my career which I just spent 6 years in school to get. This was a very HARD decision and not one that made me very happy, but my ultimate goal was to be a mom, I just hadn't known God's plan for me at the time when I begun IVF treatments. If I had only had one baby, be assured I would be working at this time and my child would be in a day care center, but most likely with my mom.

I do not plan on staying home with my children for forever, nor do I WANT to. I want them to look up to me and say, "my mom did do it all" and I can say the same about my mom. Being a SAHM is not something I have to do, it's just what I need to do right now for my family, and it's surely NOT the only way to have a great family. That is NOT what I was saying at all, but so many people thought otherwise.

I cannot stand when I read other blogs and women/mom's have to defend and justify why they parent a certain way or not (cloth diapers vs not, breast-feeding vs formula, baby-wearing vs not....ect, ect, ect) just so they don't receive nasty comments, and that just isn't fair in my book. We are each entitled in our own opinions about whatever we want, but when it comes to anything regarding children and/or parenting people get all crazy. Just another reason FB, emails, blogging, texting can hurt relationships because of words written. People read between the lines and interpret things to mean what they think you mean when it's not that way at all. So strange. This just adds another reason I would love to get rid of FB and make my blog private.

But here's why I am stating all of this: I do not want to stop myself from stating my true feelings on a topic because I think it might offend someone or something, but that would never be my goal, EVER. I am me and I am who I am for a reason, I have opinions. Not to say I can't change those opinions but I want to be as open and honest here on this blog, MY blog as I can because I want my children to remember me for me. I don't believe in sugar coating things if it's not sugar coated. Who is that fooling? No one is ever going to like every single thing you say, I know that.
Again, this is MY blog and MY family and I don't ask anyone to read our journey that doesn't want to. I'm sorry to be so stern about it but I am fed up with people not understanding that I am NOT criticising anyway of doing anything that you may believe right for your family, I am just sharing my thoughts and opinions and you do not have to agree, nor do I expect you to!!! If we were all the same person with the same thoughts and opinions, what I boring place the world would be.

I hope you can understand that and again I am truly sorry if I offended you in anyway!