Back to School!

Natalee went back to "school" August 28, 2014. This year she has speech twice a week for thirty minutes, Monday and Thursday. She loves "school" and I am so glad she is eager to learn!

Sisters were all excited too!

A few weeks into the year, Natalee started riding the school bus to school! It is so nice to have her picked up from the bus stop! :) She absolutely LOVES riding the school bus! I must admit the first day was really hard on me...I've only let them ride with family members, and very few at that, so a complete stranger, phew, it was a tear-jerker for me! My little tiny baby is getting SO big!

Seriously, I don't think I could love her anymore than I do!!!! 

This was just a few weeks ago, waiting at the bus stop with baby Brooke too! 

Last Day of School!

This past Tuesday (06/10/14) was Natalee's last day of speech at school. She has been going to speech once a week for a few months now and we are already seeing so much improvement. She is easily putting three and four words together now, and the best part is that we are able to understand what she is saying. I could always understand what she wanted and needed, but anyone else would have a very hard time. Now though, she is really sounding out words easily and repeating what we say a lot more. I am so thankful for early intervention!!!

Here is my big girl in front of her school! She kept saying, "no more school" all day! :) And we brought her teacher a potted flower to thank her for helping Natalee "blossom". ;)

She will resume speech in the fall when school starts, when hopefully all the girls will be going to school for half a day, everyday! Oh the happiness.... :)

My Little Helper!

The girls are LOVING to help me sweep or vacuum anywhere around the house. When they see me cleaning they run and get their pretend stuff and copy what I do. If I give them rags or wipes, they wipe up the floors. I hope this helping nature they have stays for many, many years.

One morning, Natalee was super happy to be up early and help me clean. Seriously she couldn't be any happier! I take off half of the swifter handles and it makes it perfect size for Natalee to use!

I hope they still help me when they are teenagers!

Snack Queen!

One day while cleaning up stuff in the kitchen before dinner, Natalee decided she wanted to try every snack in the cabinet. She would pull one box or container out and bring it to me and I would give her one or she would just do it herself. She went through so many boxes and was so happy so I didn't bother to take anything away from her.

Needless to say, she didn't eat much of her dinner that night but oh well, as you can see she could use a few more snack foods in her life to gain some weight, so I didn't mind!

They say...

....scars tell a story.

Well then my dear child will have a lot of stories to tell.

Natalee is covered in scars and it becomes more and more apparent to me the more her little body grows.


I see them each more and more clearer.

Each one is a different prick, cut or slit on her.

I hate it. I hate every last one of those scars.

On her feet. On her hands, arms, legs, head, belly. Every single one of those pricks, cuts and slits.


They forever changed her beautiful soft skin.


There are literally over a hundred.


Those scars are on her body and my heart.


Forever.

And ever.

A reminder.


A reminder of how she almost died.


Many times over and over again.


How so sick she was.


The feelings of uncertainty are in those scars.

The feelings of sadness.


How tiny and innocent and vulnerable she was.


How she should never have gone through any of it.


But those scars also remind me of how she healed. 


And for that I love them.

I love them so much.

For without those scars my little girl wouldn't be here.

She wouldn't be here laughing and playing.  

Running and jumping.

Babbling and giggling.

And those scars tell a story of just how lucky she is.

How blessed she is.

How meant to be here she is.


How so many people fought to save her little life.


I am so thankful for those scars.


And this sweet little girl.


For without the scars, my little girl would not be here.

Appointments, Appointments

This past week we had some very important appointments and some wonderful milestones!


Monday, I took Natalee and Emily with me to Natalee's GI appointment at Children's. I won't lie and say that I wasn't nervous and scared to hear the answers to my questions. But surprisingly I was really reassured that she is healthy, happy and most likely nothing wrong with her at all. 


The doctor we saw was very sweet. He took his time reading over all of Natalee's paperwork, and let's be honest, that is not an easy task. He read the surgeons notes, NICU notes, and two hospital discharge summaries. He listened to me explain my concerns, asked me lots of questions, watched her play and eat and finally examined her and gave me his opinion.


First off, he said, she is most likely a bit constipated. This didn't surprise me at all. I have heard that can be the case for children on pedi-sure. He recommended using milk of magnesia for that. We will see how that goes. I haven't heard the best reviews on it for children since the taste is pretty bad, but if it helps her feel better, than wonderful!


He then ordered lots (12) of blood tests to test her for everything from vitamin deficiencies to thyroid issues to celiacs disease. He doubts any of it will come back with an issue. 


Basically, he said she is growing perfectly. She is proportionate. She has never lost weight or not gained any weight. She continues to eat healthy, gain weight and maintain proper growth. This made me very happy. He gave me ideas on how to help her gain weight, offering certain food choices and making sure she eats full meals and not snacks. He also supported me 100% on offering no juice. He said it's totally empty calories and just gives them the sweet taste along with making them more thirsty. I was happy to hear. I am only offering juice once in awhile, like maybe once a week, but of course they are getting water all of the time. They have a water cup in their beds and in their playroom which is refilled daily. We will be big water drinkers!


After waiting for the doctor to come back in and give us our paper work, both girls fell asleep. I cannot tell you how good these girls are! I am truly blessed with well behaved girls...for now!

She loves her glowy.

So, anyway, we went downstairs and had the blood drawn. Again, I hate seeing my girls in pain, but I cannot tell you how good Natalee did! She was so awesome! The nurse was looking and looking for her veins and saying how hard it was going to be and she got it on the first try. I thanked her up and down. Natalee didn't even cry with the needle, only when they tied the gloves around her arm. I was so proud of her!


And then on Wednesday we all went to the eye doctor to make sure, since they were preemies, this is just normal routine check-ups. The appointment was VERY long, two full hours in all. So we had drops put in, then let them run around and had a picnic lunch in the common area. It all worked out great! All girls checked-out perfectly too. Amen! They will have to go back at 2 years old and then again at 5 years old. Hoping for good reports all along!


Next week...I have to get my root canal finished and become baby proofed...! ;) Two very different but important appointments. LOL!

Prayers Needed for my Babies Please!

The next few weeks we have some very important doctors appointments coming up. Unfortunately.


Back when Madelynn had a UTI in September of 2011, we were suppose to go to Children's Hospital to make sure she didn't have reflux of the ureter (click link about for the info on it), but after a phone consultation with the urologist, he decided not to see her unless she got another one. I felt okay with this because we had just been at the beach where she was in a wet diaper, in pool water for the first time (which can have lots of germs) and she is a girl, which girls are more prone to having UTI's, even as infants.


Well, at our last visit with our pediatrician, she asked if we could consider Madelynn getting screened because she had looked back at her ER visit and really felt that she wanted Madelynn checked out. Of course I followed my doctors suggestions. But, my poor baby girl. By the way, she has had no other issues with UTI's or low-grade fevers, which can be a sign too.


So I made an appointment with Children's Imaging Center and it's for Thursday afternoon. I have been seriously dreading this appointment and am having a lot of anxiety over it. It's so hard when you know you are taking you sweet, happy child for something that is going to cause her a lot of pain and discomfort. I seriously get a pit in my stomach every time I think about this. I rather live without my right arm for the rest of my life instead of have any of my babies experience the least bit of pain!


Basically she will have a abdominal/renal sonogram, followed by a Fluoroscopic voiding cystourethrogram (VCUG), where they put in a catheter and enter dye into the bladder and see how far it goes, if at all, to the kidneys. There are different stages of the reflux but we are hoping she has none. 


I asked my mom to go with me (Tim will be watching the other girls) and I rather him come to the actual follow-up appointment to meet with the doctor instead. I know Madelynn will need her Momma and so I need mine too! I hope I don't get too emotional. I just hate causing pain to my baby and when she had the catheter done in the ER, I about passed out! There will also be a "patient-lets-make-this-the-best-and-easiest-we-possibly-can" person to help out with favorite videos, toys and snacks while the procedure is going on. I'll be loading up my bag with all her favorite things too!


I'm sure we won't get any answers at the imagining center before meeting with the doctor, but if so I will update everyone.


....................


Also, Natalee has had no issues for the past year regarding her complications with NEC and bowel surgery, but since she is still on the small side for her age, like 1% on the normal growth chart, our pediatrician would also like her to be seen by a GI doctor at Children's Hospital. Her appointment is in the middle of April. It wasn't a too urgent of an issue, so this was the first available without having to travel into DC. And if I can avoid that, I will.


Natalee will most likely have some labs done to rule out any issues like celiac's disease and other nutrient-robbing diseases. The part of her bowel that was removed was a very key area in nutrient absorbing, apparently, so we just want to make sure that everything is working properly.  She is doing great though on her Pedisure drinks and has gained more weight on them than ever before on just formula. She is completely proportionate and does not have that "sick" look that I have seen in other kids with celiacs. 


If anything shows in her blood work, we will go from there. I really do not think there will be anything but the reassurance in the blood work will be comforting, and at least not too painful!


.............................


To be completely honest, I am really glad to have both my babies checked out. I would HATE for something to be wrong and have know I could have done something about it and didn't. I would never let myself live that down. But the anxiety is killing me. I wish it was me needing to have things done and not my sweet little babies. Just thinking about them being scared and not understanding what is going on tears me up to pieces. I can't stop thinking about it and it's driving me nuts! How do you handle these types of situations? I think I have anxiety over stuff that hurts them so much more because of the NICU. I just never want to see them hooked up to things, go through things that hurt them or anything else remotely close. I seriously have issues, I know. I just don't know how to handle it because instantly I am brought back to my daughter's bedside as she lay there almost dying or leaving my girls each night as I let others care for them when it should have been ME (read this for how I got them to FINALLY sleep through the night after 11.5 months of dealing with these emotions)! I hate this. I hate that it eats at me. I need to let it go and just when I think it has, and I am healing, things like this come up and I feel the anxiety creep back in. It just eats at me that they would ever have to experience pain that I can't fix for them. I know it may sound stupid to some because they are going to scrap their knees and hit their heads, and have their hearts broken by boys but it's more than that. It's the bigger things, the things I can't control. I know it's all for their best interest, it still just hurts my heart to ever see them in pain, scared or no sure of whats going on.


 I thank you for all your prayers for my sweet girls and will update when we know anything.

Madelynn, Claire and Natalee: You are 14 Months Old!

Phew! 14 Months! It's been so fun with you guys this month! You are constantly babbling and interacting with each other! I just love watching you play with one another and  it's so cute to watch your relationships with one another blossom! What a blessing it is to have each of you! We love you all so much!

{ This Month at 14 Months }

You all have started biting more and more, especially when you are really frustrated at one another. Claire you bit Natalee and left a huge mark on her arm for the first time today, 02.23.12.

You are all so funny and crack us up! I love your little personalities!

You are all so happy all of the time!

You all had your hearing tested (a preemie thing) on 02.21.12 and you all passed...even though I knew you could hear just fine!

We moved into a new wonderful home! You have all adjusted so well! No set-backs or anything. You love the new wide open space you have to walk and crawl everywhere!

You all became BIG SISTERS! You have adjusted to that pretty well too. Most days you all have tried to dig Emily's eyes out but so far we have saved her from your true wrath! Natalee, you did bite Emily's toe on 02.22, and she screamed. That wasn't very nice but I know you didn't do it to be mean, you are just expressing your frustration. 

{ Madelynn }

You are completely walking!

You have 7 teeth. 4 on top, 3 on the bottom.

Your hair is light brown.

Your eyes are blue.

You wear size 3 shoes.

You wear size 9, 12 and 18 month clothes, depending on the brand.

You wear size 4 Pampers Cruiser Diapers.

You love to eat your feet still!

Your favorite foods are applesauce, pancakes, scrambled eggs, waffles, graham crackers, cinnamon toast sticks, cinnamon toast, cheese, bologna, turkey, bread, peas, green beans, carrots, corn, ect. You love vegetables so much and you are a great eater. You shovel everything in your mouth, so now we only give you a little bit of something at a time. 

You still love your ba-ba (bottle).

You love to drink out of your sippy cups all day.

You sleep through the night from 7:30PM - 9:00AM.

You love to dance and listen to music. You rock back and forth on your feet as soon as you hear music of any kind. It's so cute.

You love to clap and wave.

You can do two signs...all done and more. You are a very fast leaner and pick up things super quick.

You are constantly laughing!

You love ripping your bibs off, no matter how many times we put it back on you.

Your favorite time is bath time. You love splashing so much. You splash with your hands and now you have learned how to lean back in the bath seat and kick your legs so hard and splash that way.

You are still the bully of the bunch. You think everything is yours and only yours!

You still growl. Everyone thinks it's so funny!

You wear shoes everyday and love them!

You can say Momma, Dadda, baby, me and baba (bottle). But you babble constantly!

You can climb the stairs all by yourself, and faster than your sisters.

You are very determined and do not like to be told no.

You love Elmo so much and light up when he comes on TV.

Your favorite toys are your blocks, princess car, books and really anything, because you think everything is yours anyway!

You sleep with your lovie, blue bear, soft tag book, binki, pink ellie and a blanket. You love to put your lovie over your face as soon as you lay down with your bottle.

You have started jumping in your crib and running back and forth from side to side!

{ Claire }

You have 7 teeth. 3 on top, 4 on the bottom, the opposite of Madelynn.

You wear size 3 shoes.

Your hair is light brown.

Your eyes are blue.

You wear size 9, 12 and 18 month clothes, depending on the brand.

You wear size 4 Pampers Cruiser Diapers.

Your favorite foods are yogurt, pancakes, scrambled eggs, waffles, graham crackers,  cinnamon toast, cinnamon toast sticks, cheese, bologna, turkey, bread, peas, green beans, carrots, corn, ect. You love vegetables so much and you are a great eater. You have a little issue still with textures but you have improved so much! You don't get any baby food at all.

You love your bottle!

You love to drink out of your sippy cup all day.

You love taking your bows off.

You sleep through the night from 7:30PM - 9:00AM.

You love to clap and wave!

You have an obbession with cabinet doors. Anything that can be opened and shut, you have to do it one hundred times, even when you pinch your fingers constantly.

You have a sweet soul. A little more laid back than your sisters.

You can climb the stairs all by yourself!

You love ripping your bibs off, no matter how many times we put it back on you, even the ones that go over your head, you can take them off too.

Your favorite time is bath time. You love splashing so much. You splash with your hands, and of course your tongue sticking out!!! Silly girl!

Daddy is your favorite person, even when you get hurt, you prefer Daddy to cuddle you.

You can say Momma, Dadda, and baba (bottle). But you babble constantly!

We still call you Lola, Lola Mae, Lola Claire, and Claire-bear.

You love Elmo so much and light up when he comes on TV.

You are taking about 3 steps at a time on your own. You can run around the furniture like a mad woman but you like to hold on. 

You can stand without holding on to anything for minutes at a time.

Your favorite toys are your blocks, princess car, books and the pretend cookie jar that makes noise.

You sleep with your lovie, beige cow, glow worm, binki, pink ellie and a blanket. You love to put your lovie over your face as soon as you lay down with your bottle.

{ Natalee }

You have 4 teeth. 2 on top, 2 on the bottom.

You wear size 3 shoes.

Your hair is dark brown and very straight.

You eyes are a very dark brown, like your Momma and Daddy's eyes. Everyone comments on your eyes, ever since you were born. You have a deep soul, sweet girl and your eyes haven't changed since the day you were born.

You wear size 9, 12 and 18 month clothes, depending on the brand.

You wear size 4 Pampers Cruiser Diapers.

You can stand for long periods of time without holding on!

Your favorite foods are yogurt, pancakes, waffles, graham crackers, cheese, bologna, turkey, bread, peas, green beans, carrots, corn, ect. You love vegetables so much and you are a great eater. You are such a great eater, but for some reason you are not a big fan of eggs. 

You love your sippy cup!

You have completely switched over to pedi-sure and never even noticed the difference! You love the vanilla and strawberry, but I haven't tried the chocolate yet. You have gained the most weight ever this month on the pedi-sure!

You sleep through the night from 7:30PM - 9:00AM.

You clap and wave!

You constantly sit on your knees.

You took your first steps alone last week and I bet you walk before Claire!

You love Mommy so much and have a very hard time separating from me, but as long as you don't see me, your fine!

You can climb the stairs all by yourself!

Your favorite time is bath time. You love splashing so much. You love to get on your knees in your bath seat and try to stand up constantly. You are so tiny in the seat so you can move so easily.

You refuse to sit in the tub, you only want to stand! You will not sit in your bath seat at all!

You have a very determined personality. You like to have what you want and when you want it!

You can say Dadda, but I have not heard you say Momma yet. But you babble constantly!

We still call you Na Na, peanut, string bean and puppy (because you sometimes still sound like a little puppy/piggy when you sequel).

You love to be chased, and will crawl away sooo fast!

You love Elmo so much and light up when he comes on TV.

Your favorite toys are your blocks, princess car, books and Daddy's cell phone.

You sleep with your lovie, pink bunny, glow worm (glowy), binki, pink ellie and a blanket. You are the only one who could care less about your lovie. You love your glowy, especially the ears. You rub the ears of glowy between your mouth and your nose all of the time.

{ Here are all of you playing this month...}