Follow-up to "Just my Thoughts"

After much consideration today, I feel I need to write a follow-up post this evening in reference to my post earlier today that has sparked so much controversy without realizing it would. Ok, I knew it would, but I didn't care much to be honest since it was my opinion and I think I should be able to share my opinion on MY blog without so much hate-mail. Thank you to those who understood what I was saying and all the nice and supportive emails and comments that I did receive. It's amazing that people can interpret one sentence one way and another person, a completely different way. I think it's a total shame that when I write something on MY blog I have to add a disclaimer or explain myself in ways so that every single person can understand exactly what I mean, but I will try my best in the future, and here I thought I did that in that post, but apparently I was wrong.

I am truly sorry if you were upset about my post, and please know that was NEVER my intention for anyone to feel like it's a "stab" at them or their situation. It is never my intentions to hurt any one's feelings (especially if I don't know you), and I never would post a post "at" someone, and I am not suggesting it anyway that what I do/feel/think is necessarily correct in any aspect of life, and especially in parenting. To each their own. Everyone has opinions and that is what makes life interesting, and on MY blog, I would like to post my feelings and opinions without criticism or people thinking I am "stabbing" at or hurting your feelings or the way you do something. And if you feel differently then me all I ask is to keep it to yourself. I wouldn't push what I think on your blog, so I just ask the same. I never mind suggestions or advice but taking what I say and thinking you know what I am saying out of context is just not fair. I share my feelings because they are my feelings, and I don't expect you to agree with me on everything. Everyone is different and everyone sees things differently. That's one of the blessings in life -- no one person is exactly the same. We all come form different places, different families and yet we can still share some of the same views but can be so different at the same time. We are all unique.

So anyway, I was NOT talking about being a stay at home mom (and that being the ONLY right way to parent) as so many thought I was. I was NOT making a stab at working moms either! Never, ever would I do that! Nor was I trying to make working moms feel guilty in any means.

My post was at NANNIES raising children and parent's (of multiples) complaining that they are tired after not doing anything (or much) with their children while they stay at home and have other people raise their children and do their chores. My whole post was on NANNIES, and if you didn't get that then I'm sorry, it wasn't on SAHM's, grand-parents or other family members helping, occasional babysitters, ect...

My GOAL was to just post some LIGHT on mom's of multiples who do it all themselves because I don't think there isn't enough recognition for that, just as their isn't enough recognition for working mom's either. I sure didn't know how hard it could be as a SAHM, I thought it would be the easiest job in the world with some challenges, and in turn I have learned that it is the hardest job to have. I get so sick of people asking me "don't you have help" like I automatically should have help because I had more than one baby at one time---and that just blows my mind! I don't have help and I think that is OK! It's OK to do things on your own and you CAN make it work, even as a mom of multiples! Sometimes, just as in anything, people can get frustrated, and I was just frustrated with all the posts I read each and every day about nannies and night nurses! That is all I was saying.
If anyone knows me IRL, you know that being a SAHM was never, ever something I wanted. I am a career-oriented woman and always have been and being a SAHM was just something that was not for me. I wanted to get a Bachelor's degree and then a Master's degree in the field of my choice and use it to the best of my knowledge. I always said that I could have it all--a career, a well-balanced household, a husband, children, ect.. SO many people always told me, "just wait until you have children, you'll change your mind" and I always thought there is no way I will ever stay at home with my kids! No way, not this girl, it just wasn't for me! I need stimulation, a life of my own, I need my own income, I need adults, I need to feel accomplished at the end of the day and I want a career that I have worked hard to create for myself. And all these things I still want and I will have one day, but right now I need to and want to stay at home with my children.

And, well, three children at ONE time can change that thought. Daycare for three infants is expensive and I know this well since my mom owns and directs a daycare center. Three infant slots would approximately be $900 dollars PER week. I don't know many social workers, even with Master's degrees that make much more than that, so honestly I had to come to terms with NOT getting a job right now, and NOT starting my career which I just spent 6 years in school to get. This was a very HARD decision and not one that made me very happy, but my ultimate goal was to be a mom, I just hadn't known God's plan for me at the time when I begun IVF treatments. If I had only had one baby, be assured I would be working at this time and my child would be in a day care center, but most likely with my mom.

I do not plan on staying home with my children for forever, nor do I WANT to. I want them to look up to me and say, "my mom did do it all" and I can say the same about my mom. Being a SAHM is not something I have to do, it's just what I need to do right now for my family, and it's surely NOT the only way to have a great family. That is NOT what I was saying at all, but so many people thought otherwise.

I cannot stand when I read other blogs and women/mom's have to defend and justify why they parent a certain way or not (cloth diapers vs not, breast-feeding vs formula, baby-wearing vs not....ect, ect, ect) just so they don't receive nasty comments, and that just isn't fair in my book. We are each entitled in our own opinions about whatever we want, but when it comes to anything regarding children and/or parenting people get all crazy. Just another reason FB, emails, blogging, texting can hurt relationships because of words written. People read between the lines and interpret things to mean what they think you mean when it's not that way at all. So strange. This just adds another reason I would love to get rid of FB and make my blog private.

But here's why I am stating all of this: I do not want to stop myself from stating my true feelings on a topic because I think it might offend someone or something, but that would never be my goal, EVER. I am me and I am who I am for a reason, I have opinions. Not to say I can't change those opinions but I want to be as open and honest here on this blog, MY blog as I can because I want my children to remember me for me. I don't believe in sugar coating things if it's not sugar coated. Who is that fooling? No one is ever going to like every single thing you say, I know that.
Again, this is MY blog and MY family and I don't ask anyone to read our journey that doesn't want to. I'm sorry to be so stern about it but I am fed up with people not understanding that I am NOT criticising anyway of doing anything that you may believe right for your family, I am just sharing my thoughts and opinions and you do not have to agree, nor do I expect you to!!! If we were all the same person with the same thoughts and opinions, what I boring place the world would be.

I hope you can understand that and again I am truly sorry if I offended you in anyway!