NICU Reunion 2013!!!

Sunday, April 21, 2013 was the annual Shady Grove Adventist Hospital NICU Reunion. 

I always, always look forward to this event because it gives me another chance to see and thank our nurses and doctors for all their hard work and tender care of our precious little girls. This year, I didn't see as many of our nurses and doctors that I had hoped for, but that could be because their was A LOT of people there and the room seemed to get smaller (and hotter) as more and more people came in. We saw some friends that we've met along our journey, another triplet family that we have finally met in person, and saw lots of twins!

They had all sorts of activities for the kids which was really fun. There was a Sesame Street moon bounce, which of course was a big hit since "MELMO" was on it, but the girls didn't have much interest in it all of the sudden, even though they love Pump It Up where they play on all the inflatable stuff for two straight hours.

The big highlight was getting their arms painted with butterflies. They were memorized at the sparkly butterfly on their arm. My heart was so happy. They are really getting so big and so interested in so much more.

Natalee!

Maddy!

Claire!

We got our annual NICU photo, and you just wait ten minutes and it's ready...and yeah, I FORGOT MINE! I was so sad and all of the sudden remembered last night when I got in bed! I emailed on of the nurses so hopefully someone will find it! Booo!

There were lots of snacks, such as pop corn, chips, pretzels, ice cream, veggie sticks, fresh fruit and drinks for everyone, which was really nice, considering my kids didn't eat much lunch and we were going on no naps to attend the event.

A very happy Emme-girl!

Claire shoveling chips in her mouth!

There were some crafts and a guy singing weird songs to everyone, a DVD of parents and stories in the NICU and to be honest I didn't see much of, due to my own choice (I had mixed emotions on it...Our time in the NICU is not something I like to relive, because my heart is scarred forever, but I have slowly learned to turn the page in my life and learned how to just live with the guilt I have. We each, as parents, have our own story, along with our precious children, and it is NEVER forgotten, but I just couldn't bare the emotions of listening to the stories (even though happy endings) in a room full of people. Every time I tell our story, mostly Natalee's story, my heart breaks more and more for her. I look at her and all she does today, 2.5 years later, with her little scars scattered throughout her whole body, and I never forget those emotions and feelings of almost loosing my little girls numerous times over again...and I was a lucky one! Miracle children should be celebrated, absolutely, but I just don't know, I thought it was a little weird for the time and place. I knew if I really watched it, I would be an emotional mess and so many feeling would come back to me on our own story, so I guess that was just my issue....and maybe I am can't even put this into words right now in the correct way, but oh well.)

I would have loved to see more of the nurses and doctors there too. I know the NICU still has to be run, of course, but I don't think they get enough thank you's from those who will never forget their help to save our precious children. The kind words, the kind touches, the sweet gestures, the calls/texts in the middle of the nights, the overall care and concern, it is never forgotten. I have distinct memories of nurses and doctors telling me something and/or showing their true concern, and those are the moments I remember with smiles. My children will surely always know that when Mommy and Daddy couldn't care for them, there were very special people that did, with tender and loving hands, just as we would have cared for them. My girls will always know their stories and know how lucky they were to have such wonderful angels care for them, as I am forever thankful. It was such an important and critical time in my girls life, and they will know how blessed they are.

So...anyway, it was a wonderful day, and although the evening was a little hard due to no naps, it was well worth it to celebrate the life of our little girls!!

Prayers!

I was just informed that my dear friend gave birth to her triplet girls last week at barely over 24 weeks. We normally talk each week, but I didn't think much of it when I didn't hear from her until she called tonight. I knew in her voice immediately something was wrong. She told me her girls were delivered via c-section after three long days of being in the hospital and doctors trying to stop her delivery. Finally, the doctors did all they could and her girls were born weighing 1lb 7oz and the other two girls at 2lbs.

The girls are doing well and stable at this time. Please join me in keeping these precious angels in your thoughts and prayers. 

Unfortunately, I know all too well what she is going through at this time and all the prayers sent her way are surely appreciated. The sadness, the fear, the anxiety. My heart aches for her. I know what her heart is feeling right now. I wouldn't wish those feelings on anyone.

Thank goodness she is in a wonderful hospital with wonderful doctors and nurses to watch over and protect her girls and be there to support her. (the same hospital all my girls were born at) 

I am reminded of this poem that I saw awhile ago and posted it...

When Mommy Couldn't Hold You

By Sarah Kamienski

"Pregnant? Us? Oh, this will be great!,"

I remember thinking that day.

Not having a clue what lay in store,

Or really knowing the way.

After days and weeks and months of growing,

You made Mommy's tummy quite large.

For each moment that you were safely inside me,

I felt that I was in charge.

Then all of the sudden - I couldn't believe it!

Mommy felt so unprepared.

When the doctor said, "This is it! Here we go!"

Mommy was so very scared.

You were not "due" for weeks to come,

I thought I had so much more time

To prepare myself, my heart, my life,

But my plans flipped on a dime.

Then all of the sudden and without much warning,

It was all taken out of my hands.

When out of my tummy you came so fast,

And then Mommy's real fear began.

Although my tummy seemed quite large for me,

You, my dear, were not.

Off to the NICU, alone, you were sent.

My heart, it leapt, felt caught.

A whole new world we entered then,

Not knowing quite what to do.

Not able to hold you, at first, even touch you

And yet, oh, how my love grew!

After just one moment of breathing you in,

My heart was forever changed.

For you had captured me with your precious spirit;

A stake in my soul, you had claimed.

I watched and I cried as they wrapped you in blankets,

Swaddling you with oh so much care.

I raised my empty hands up to Heaven,

Admitting I was so very scared.

I longed to hold you. I longed to protect you.

I longed to make it ok.

Yet, it became clear that I was no longer "in charge,"

And that all I could do was pray.

I offered my milk, I offered my presence.

I learned how to touch you just so.

That you would feel safe, cared for, and loved,

Through the glass you would know.

Then, as clearly as day, I opened my eyes

And saw for the very first time-

It wasn't the incubator that held you at all.

It was God. His hands, you were fine.

You see, dear child, I never had control,

As much as I would've liked to think.

For this was His plan, I see now so clearly.

In letting go, I found the link.

The comfort in moments of fear for tomorrow;

the solace for unending tears.

The truth that when Mommy couldn't hold you,

Dear child, He was so very near.

His angels around you, above and below,

They guarded you morning and night.

Singing sweet songs and calming your fears;

Never letting you out of their sight.

You see, my sweet angel, I have learned at long last

That there is no guarantee.

All we have is this moment to love one another,

To rest, to cherish, to be.

So, as you grow up and the memories fade

Of your days spent in the NICU,

May you always remember the closeness you felt

To the One who protected and held you.

I know you'll be scared again someday.

But whenever you feel some alarm,

Remember the truth that when Mommy can't hold you,

God holds you safe in His arms.

This poem was dedicated to Ansley, Noah and Jack; born at 28 weeks 5 days on April 22, 2008.

All Beacause 2 People Fell in Love...

All because 2 people fell in love...

 Less than 10% chance of having children "on our own".

12 long months of unsuccessful attempts at pregnancy.

62% chance of successful IVF.

2% chance of triplets.

1 out of 535 births are triplets, quads or more.

1 out of 250 births are identical twins.

3 daughters, 1 set of identical twins and a fraternal, at 24 years old.

Born at 32 weeks and 2 days.

2 days before Christmas.

7 weeks and 5 days premature.

49 long days in the NICU.

Less than 10% chance of ever having more children "on our own".

1% chance of getting pregnant on birth control while taken as directed.

4 months between pregnancies.

4 children; 4 girls at 26 years old.

13-14 months apart.

=

1 happy and blessed beyond words family!

Prematurity Awareness Month!!

Novemeber represents something near and dear to my heart. It's Prematurity Awareness Month and November 17th is Awareness Day!

1 in 8 babies are born too soon, that being around 13 million babies each year. Our family was one of the lucky ones, who have babies survive due to the loads of technology and wonderful angel hands whom cared for them.

December 23rd, 2010 was a hard day but FULL of happy blessings, where I delievered our beautiful preemie girls at just 32w2d. They weighed 3 lbs. 14 ounces (M and C) and 2 lbs. 13 ounces (N) but we were very lucky that they were so healthy and strong, even while needing lots of attention and NICU support.

Yes, our situation was unique...I KNEW my babies would be preemies, no matter what, from the very beginning, so I could prepare, educate myself and learn coping strategies to deal with the inevitable circumstances, but that did not make it any easier. 
So many babies and so many families aren't so lucky! Which is SO sad and SO unfair!

It costs over 26 billion dollars to take care of preemies and when the prematurity birth rate has risen over 36% in the last 25 years, that is quite alarming!
But luckily we have wonderful organizations like The March of Dimes, willing to support and help research, technology and bring awareness to prematurity across our country.

NICU Carnival!

Sunday, October 2nd was the Shady Grove NICU Picnic! Tim and I were so excited to go and see all of our favorite nurses and show off our little ladies to them! Considering when the girls left the NICU, they weighed between 3lbs 15 ounces and 4lbs 5 ounces...they have grown A LOT! Only one of our nurses has seen the girls in person, a few weeks after they left the NICU!

Unfortunately it was FREEZING and then started to rain! I was so sad and very reluctant to leave but I knew it was best to get the girls out of the 40 degree rain! Tim swore he saw snowflakes, haha! I can't help it I told him to wear a jacket and he had a short-sleeve t-shirt on and a hoodie!

My momma and Madelynn

"The Nanny"/my sissy and Natalee



Claire, blowing bubbles!

If it had been nice, there would have been so many fun things to do...well and when the girls grow up a little. There was numerous moon bounces, a swing-ride, "pick-a-duck" and other cute carnival activities, some entertainment, face-painting, coloring, tattoos....and some food. They also had a family picture tent which was fun too!

Here's our photo:

Not the best photo...but I'll take it for free! They even put it in a little frame, and I will admit that it's the only framed photo I have in the house of the our family!! Whoops...but I am eagerly waiting for my canvas prints to arrive!

I made a bunch of mini pumpkin spice breads to give to the nurses and once again say thank you for doing an angels job! I will never forget our wonderful nurses and doctors who helped save my daughter's lives and I think you can never say thank you enough! They will forever be a part of our family and always in our prayers!

We left about an hour after we got there because the rain was becoming too much and I didn't want to risk the girls getting a cold! No way! Plus the Redskins game was on and so was the Eagles game...so we stopped by Chipolte and home we went! So we only saw a few of our nurses, but hopefully when Little Miss is born in January we can pop into the NICU waiting room and see some more and/or hopefully some of them will come to the girls first birthday party!

Yay! Natalee is HOME again!

So happy....we have brought our little string bean home from the NICU again. 

We couldn't be happier to have all of our family back under the same roof again!

She is doing good and drinking all her bottle in just a few minutes, all 60ccs! We are hoping that her incision continues to heal and her infection is gone for good! I have learned how to care for her wound and keep it perfectly clean at all times. She is now 4lbs 5oz, but the strongest 4lbs I have ever known! I'm sure now that she can eat and digest the proper way, she will be catching up to her sisters in no time! No more wires, no more picc lines, no more IVs, no more beeping...no more anything but love and kisses from Mommy, Daddy and everyone else who loves her!

Thank you for your continued prayers to help heal our sweet girl!

Favorite Fridays - The Strongest Girl I Know!

So in love with this strong little girl...

Update on Natalee - Post Surgery Days

I know it's been a few days since I've updated..sorry for that, but it's been hectic going back and forth to the hospital and getting things done around the house. Crazy is the only word that comes close to describing our household. I have not a second it seems to blog...and when I do think I will, I rather sleep. I will update on the twins in another post with some pictures but here is the update on Natalee.

Natalee did well on Sunday evening after her surgery. I was so happy that she had the same nurse Monday and Tuesday that she had on Sunday. On Monday her breathing tube came out and she did just fine without it.  When my mom and I went to see her on Monday evening, Natalee was exhausted beyond comprehension. The neonatalogist had been working on Natalee's picc line all day, with no success.  First of all, THEY SHAVED MY DAUGHTER'S HEAD! Yes, you heard be correctly...they wanted to see if they could get a picc line in her head but had no success. The hair cut wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but still it was so sad. Thank goodness they were sweet enough to save her hair for me. I appreciated that. Her whole body was poked and prodded, and she was whining and moaning, it was horrible. It was ten times worse seeing her Monday night then it was Sunday when she actually had the surgery. I literally almost threw up just because how upset I was, but I held it together. If she can be strong, I can. She is my motivator.

On Tuesday morning, the doctors finally got in a "long IV" in her arm but could not get a true picc line started. Tuesday am she stooled but the surgeon did not want to start food yet because they want to make sure everything that is above where the blockage was, will come out. Tuesday evening, one of the neonatalogists finally got a true picc line in her other arm. They then took out the "long IV".

On Wednesday morning, the neonatalogist was changing the dressing of the picc line and the picc line broke. Yes, it broke. After days of trying, finally getting it, it then broke! They pulled it out and had to start another one and were successful in Natalee's foot. They had to take the old one out and start the new one, a two hour process, without being able to give Nat any pain meds. I can't think about it too much because my insides start to boil with how upset that makes me. When I came in, I can't tell you how many nurses told me how hard and tortured Natalee's day was...I can't even imagine. Also, if her haircut wasn't bad enough, they shaved the rest of her head...to just see if they could find a good vein. Poor Natalee looks horrible, I can't believe they did it but I understand why and anything they had to do for her comfort and her health, is fine with me. So, she will be wearing a hat for the next few months! :(

While all of this was happening, Natalee has now developed an infection in her incision. I know...can you believe what I am saying? I mean, this child CANNOT get a break! The surgeon came and they took off the wet-looking top coat of glue and puss and discharge came out of the site. So, instead of the antibiotics ending, they will continue and they did a culture to see what was growing. The culture came back with two things...so the antibiotics were changed today to a new approach and the nurses are putting a warm compress on the site three times a day.

Here is her incision, before the infection started.

I just wish Natalee could get a break. She doesn't deserve any of this. I swear she can have anything she wants for her whole life. If she wants a new car at 16, I don't know how I will be able to say no! Diamonds, pearls, a horse...she has us wrapped around her finger. She may not remember what she went through, but I do, and that's enough for her to get whatever she wants.

We are hoping that she will get to eat tomorrow, since she stooled again. She is getting another blood transfusion today so hopefully that will perk her up too and make her color better. She is still really pale. Yesterday her demeanor was great, even after her tortured day. It just shows how strong she is. She was wide awake with her beautiful big eyes the whole time my dad and I were with her. She was sucking away on her paci too, she is so hungry.

So, please keep her in your prayers. She continues to prove to be the strongest person I have ever known. She has such a great purpose for being here. I thank God for her strenght and I pray she has comfort.

When Mommy Couldn't Hold You

When I was in Dr. Pinckert's office the other day, I came across the Triplet Connection magazine, which I haven't seen before. I decided not to subscribe to this organization because you had to pay a fee to be a part of it, but I was eager to see some of their info and maybe I would change my mind.

I really liked the magazine and I might subscribe. But while reading it, I came across this poem and it brought tears to my eyes. It is absolutely beautiful and everything I felt during the 35 days of my girls in the NICU, and now once again during a scary situation with Natalee. I think that any parent who have had a child in the NICU can relate to this poem, or a parent of multiples, as most multiples spend some time in the NICU.  It is written by a mom of triplets, and who also happens to be a social worker too.

When Mommy Couldn't Hold You

By Sarah Kamienski

"Pregnant? Us? Oh, this will be great!,"

I remember thinking that day.

Not having a clue what lay in store,

Or really knowing the way.

After days and weeks and months of growing,

You made Mommy's tummy quite large.

For each moment that you were safely inside me,

I felt that I was in charge.

Then all of the sudden - I couldn't believe it!

Mommy felt so unprepared.

When the doctor said, "This is it! Here we go!"

Mommy was so very scared.

You were not "due" for weeks to come,

I thought I had so much more time

To prepare myself, my heart, my life,

But my plans flipped on a dime.

Then all of the sudden and without much warning,

It was all taken out of my hands.

When out of my tummy you came so fast,

And then Mommy's real fear began.

Although my tummy seemed quite large for me,

You, my dear, were not.

Off to the NICU, alone, you were sent.

My heart, it leapt, felt caught.

A whole new world we entered then,

Not knowing quite what to do.

Not able to hold you, at first, even touch you

And yet, oh, how my love grew!

After just one moment of breathing you in,

My heart was forever changed.

For you had captured me with your precious spirit;

A stake in my soul, you had claimed.

I watched and I cried as they wrapped you in blankets,

Swaddling you with oh so much care.

I raised my empty hands up to Heaven,

Admitting I was so very scared.

I longed to hold you. I longed to protect you.

I longed to make it ok.

Yet, it became clear that I was no longer "in charge,"

And that all I could do was pray.

I offered my milk, I offered my presence.

I learned how to touch you just so.

That you would feel safe, cared for, and loved,

Through the glass you would know.

Then, as clearly as day, I opened my eyes

And saw for the very first time-

It wasn't the incubator that held you at all.

It was God. His hands, you were fine.

You see, dear child, I never had control,

As much as I would've liked to think.

For this was His plan, I see now so clearly.

In letting go, I found the link.

The comfort in moments of fear for tomorrow;

the solace for unending tears.

The truth that when Mommy couldn't hold you,

Dear child, He was so very near.

His angels around you, above and below,

They guarded you morning and night.

Singing sweet songs and calming your fears;

Never letting you out of their sight.

You see, my sweet angel, I have learned at long last

That there is no guarantee.

All we have is this moment to love one another,

To rest, to cherish, to be.

So, as you grow up and the memories fade

Of your days spent in the NICU,

May you always remember the closeness you felt

To the One who protected and held you.

I know you'll be scared again someday.

But whenever you feel some alarm,

Remember the truth that when Mommy can't hold you,

God holds you safe in His arms.

This poem was dedicated to Ansley, Noah and Jack; born at 28 weeks 5 days on April 22, 2008.

Update on Natalee - Surgery Results

It was really hard to see Natalee this morning, I immediately lost it when I saw her. We got to spend a few minutes with her and give her some kisses before they put the ventilator down. I was so scared. I did not know how to be strong for her because I couldn't even find it to be strong for myself. I have learned a lot today. I know I am stronger than I thought.

Tim and I were there of course, my mom, my best friend, Kim and my mom's best friend, Ann. Tim's mom was staying with the other girls at home, and it was so nice to know that they were being taken care of and I didn't have to worry.

We met with the surgeon, Dr. Stafford, who was absolutely so sweet. He was so smart and answered all of our questions. He really made me feel at ease. He said that he was 100% sure that this was a complication of having NEC and that it was really common after having NEC. I was so glad to hear that it wasn't something completely different and a new issue. He said as soon as he saw the x-rays from yesterday he was pretty sure that he knew what was going on and where he would need to look. He said he would examine every part of her abdomen. I was so glad. He showed us where he would cut her and said he is very conscious about where he cuts little girls because one day they will want to wear a bikini. I can't tell you how much that meant to me, it showed how sweet his character is, that he would think of that and I thanked him so much. It was one of the first things that I thought about. One day she will be a thirteen year old girl and I never want her to be ashamed of her scar. Just the fact that it would cross his mind, is just so nice. He said he has daughters of his own and would want someone to care for them the same way. Sweet, sweet man, I knew God sent him just for my daughter.

The anesthesiologist was so sweet too. He had twins in the NICU a few years ago. Also, Natalee had one nurse for her all day and I was so glad it was Terri. She is so sweet and takes wonderful care of Natalee. She stayed by her side throughout the whole surgery and will have Natalee for the next three days. I love when the nurses stay the same for a few days. Everyone of the nurses in the NICU are unbelievable. They are truly angels sent from above.

It was hard to say good-bye to Nat, but it was more of a c-ya later. I knew she was going to pull through just fine. It was much harder to see her first thing in the morning than it was to say c-ya later.

Half way through the surgery, Terri came out and told us that Dr. Stafford found a place of about 5-6 srictures all in the same place, about 8 centimeters worth in the small intestines. She said he was about to start cutting out and placing the intestines back together, with no bag. She was doing just fine. Wonderful news.

About another hour, the doctor came out and said everything was done and he was really pleased how everything came out. He said everything above the area taken out looked great and everything below the area looked great too. He took out 14 centimeters total. He tried to take out her appendix but couldn't get to it safely.

We headed right up to the NICU and I went right in to see her. She looked great. She was super, super warm and the incision looked really great. I was so impressed. It looked like a paper-cut; no blood, just glued together, barely even red.

The Nurse Practitioner and Terri tried to put in a picc line again but they were unsuccessful. They will try again tomorrow and we will pray they can get it.

So, tonight Natalee is doing good. She is stable. Her levels all look good. She might get some more blood tomorrow, but we just have to wait and see what her blood level show in the morning. She will also stay on the antibiotics for a few more days just to prevent infection. So the next step is waiting to see when she will stool and then food can start to be introduced again.

I could not be more proud of my little girl. She is so strong and such a fighter. I look at her, her sweet little body and I wonder how can something so small be so strong. My only feeling is that God is holding her with every breath she takes. How else could she do being doing it? She is so strong and I am sure she has a purpose higher than we know for being on this earth. She is going to great things.

Thank you Jesus for keeping my little girl safe and giving her strength above anything I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful and thankful. Thank you to all those who have been praying for our family, whether we know you or not, your thoughts and prayers are SO appreciated. The power of pray is beyond our imagination.

Update on Natalee - Surgery

Quick Update....before trying to get some sleep.

Natalee had the barium enema this afternoon and the results came back. Everything is fine in her bowel and large intestines, so the doctors feel that the blockage(s) is right at the end of the small intestines. The large intestines look great and are all normal. The small intestine is still full of air and very dilated, so that's the reason they believe the blockage is right there.

Natalee will be having surgery tomorrow morning at 9am. She is getting a blood transfusion this evening to give her plenty of strenght for tomorrow. She is still on antibiotics and still has the tube down her throat to relieve some of the pressure and air. She has two IV's and is really uncomfortable. They have given her pain meds, thank goodness to let her rest. She's still pale and still has a big tummy.

She did open her eyes a few times and looked right at me. She was still screaming and crying when anyone touched her, so that's all a good sign. Much better than when she had NEC.

Speaking of NEC, the doctor said he does believe that this is from NEC. I had mentioned that when Natalee started eating she could have scarring in the intestines/bowel from healing NEC and that seems exactly what has happened. When she was in the NICU, she was eating such a small amount of food that it was still passing through but when she came home and started wanting more food, that's when it became worse, and that's why she was spitting up so much and in such a weird way. Food just wasn't moving as quickly as it should have, hence why she wasn't hungry after 3 hours either. Everything makes sense now.

So tomorrow, it will be exploratory surgery to see what is going on. We really won't know anything until they get in there and look. She will be cut right down her abdomen, makes me so sad. Such a huge scar she will have. My perfect little baby, with such a big scar. But whatever needs to be done, is fine. It could be something in the abdomen that is pushing on the small intestines making it narrow, or it could be inside. Most likely they will cut it out and sew the intestines back together, however there is a chance where they might have to bring the intestines to the surface of the skin and therefore put a colostomy bag on. That's I guess the worst scenario. But we just don't know.

We will see what tomorrow brings. Right now, I need to feed my babies and try to get some rest. My MIL will be staying with the girls while Tim and I go to the hospital bright and early. Please keep the prayers coming. I trust God will be keeping Natalee safe and give her comfort and strenght. I am so scared. More scared than I have ever been. Right now I can't even think about tomorrow. If I could take away every inch of pain she is feeling, I would. Lord, give me strenght to be strong, but watch over my little girl. Amen.

Update on Natalee

Natalee had a stable night. She slept pretty good and only woke up when she realized that she was hungry, which the fact that she is still wanting food is great! They moved her back to an isolate due to her temperature not staying up, this morning. Her x-ray looked the same, showing lots of still air in her intestines. She is going to have a barium enema with x-rays sometime today. However, as usual things are moving very slow in the NICU. Waiting on blood work that Natalee had this morning and the blood and urine cultures will be back by this afternoon (they took 24 hours).

Hoping the x-rays show no blockages or narrowing so surgery will not be needed. Still just don't know. That's the worse; I hate not knowing. I am not patient. 

I really think the NICU made a mistake with letting her go so early. I mean, yes, I wanted her to come home but she was so small, only 3lbs 15oz...and had been sooo sick. What was I even thinking?! I hate to think that this is new infection is because of her coming home and something that could have been prevented if she would have stayed a few more days. Feeling guilty to say the least, I hope it was nothing that I did.

My poor little girl. She doesn't deserve this. Will update when we know more results. hopefully shortly.

Natalee back in NICU :(

Just a quick note to let everyone know that Natalee is back in the NICU. Basically, she was having trouble eating and staying on a schedule, or wanting to eat and being able to keep it down. Also, she hadn't had any bowel movements since Tuesday, so today I took her to the pediatrician where finally they got her to relieve herself, thank goodness. I have never been so happy to see so much poop! But her temperature was very low, very, very low...no higher than 95.8. It was going between 94.1 to 95.8, which is like FREEZING, especially when she is only, barely 4lbs.

So, we were sent right away to the ER to get an x-ray and some blood work. They took us right back, we didn't wait at all and had wonderful service. However Nat's temp just would NOT come up, even under the warmer and she was getting more and more pale as time went on. She had blood work done, which showed that she had a lower red blood cell count than before when she was in the NICU. They tested her for RSV and the flu, both negative. She had an x-ray and it showed her intestines and tummy full of air. Her tummy was very distended and hard. She had a urine sample too.

One of the Nurse Practitioners from the NICU came down and also agreed with me finally, that Natalee was pale. (No one thought she was, expect me!) She said that Natalee could come back to the NICU, amen, and would not be sent to PICU. I felt so much better about that, because if she had to stay, at least we would be in a place that we knew.

So, we went to the NICU very shortly after and had a lot more tests done. More blood work. Blood work came back and shower high levels, meaning an infection or inflammation again. We don't really know more than that. It could be a hundred different things. They just are not sure. However, it is not NEC anymore. The x-ray does not look anything like it did when she had NEC.

So, we are waiting. She is back on two antibiotics. She has the tube down her throat to her tummy to let out the air and mucus that has built up, but it is clear, not green like last time. Clear is good! She will not be getting any food though, poor, poor girl. Another x-ray and blood work will be done in the am and we will see what it will show and make a plan then. Her temp did come back to normal, thank God.

She is being herself though, very determined. She is sucking great and seems like she is starving.  She was wide awake and bright eyed. She was screaming, moaning and passing lots of gas, which is good because it means she doesn't have a blockage in her intestines, however, she could still have narrowing, which still means surgery. She will probably have a GI exam or barium enema tomorrow and then a meeting with the surgeon, if needed. Just have to wait to see what the x-ray shows and blood work.

It was of course so hard to leave her again this evening. I hate leaving my poor sick little girl, all by herself. It is simply NOT fair. She is a fighter though, we know that much. God will hold her while I cannot, that I know.

I will try to keep updates coming, but at this time, we ask for your thoughts and prayers for our sweet little girl.

Natalee is HOME!!!!

I cannot believe that less than two weeks ago, our sweet little baby was so sick and now she is HOME! Natalee barely weighs 3lbs 15oz but is SO strong that she can come home with no problems! We are so blessed, I can barely believe it! She is such a quiet and sweet baby.

She passed her car seat test yesterday with no problems and is such a big girl! She is sucking down about 30cc's (one ounce) in just a few minutes and she is quite feisty! She knows what she wants and when she wants it! (Gee, she reminds me of someone, I just don't know who...HAHA)

So as bittersweet as it was, we went to the hospital for the LAST time today! Can I get an AMEN!?!?!?!?! After 5 weeks exactly, or 35 days, our family is FINALLY COMPLETE at home! The whole time at the hospital I was like, "this is the last time we will be pulling into this parking lot, this is the last time I will wash my hands here at this sink before going into the NICU, this is the last time I will hold my baby with wires attached, this is the last time I have to come here, I never have to call to check on my baby again, never have to cry as I leave everyday without my baby....we drove away and I did not look back. We brought our last daughter home and I couldn't help but cry tears of joy this time!

It has been a quiet evening in our household. The girls are so happy to be together. When Tim and I were eating dinner, we were looking around us...one baby in a swing, one in a bouncy seat and another in another bouncy seat...we finally have all three of them here! We just looked around and laughed!

Natalee enjoying the swing for the first time!

We gave all the girls baths...they smell so yummy! Nothing like a sweet little baby after a bath. There is no better smell in the world. Three baths took about 45 minutes...I'd say that was pretty good for the first time with all three. And no one pooped in the water...success! :)

Madelynn's bath

I'm not too worried about tonight, I have been doing all the night feedings and diaper changes by myself, so what's one more baby?! Honestly, it's not that Tim won't help, I just want to say I can do it by myself! LOL, I just have a system and it works great! I might wake Tim up tonight, but probably not. We will see how it goes.

And Tim and I FINALLY got to cut off our NICU bracelets! I have hated wearing these things but we did not want to take any of them off until all the girls were home!

Joyous News!

In less than 48 hours, our family will be complete....AT HOME! We are beyond ecstatic! I cannot believe when I arrived at the hospital today that our sweet little string-bean was in an open crib! She is so little still and yet such a big girl!

She is drinking 30cc's in about 8-10 minutes! She sucks it down. She hasn't had a feeding tube in since before she was sick! What a strong girl she is!

She is done with her antibiotics and TPN. She had her picc line out today and is just on her regular heart rate and breathing monitor. Tomorrow she'll have her car seat test too and if all goes well, she will be discharged late Thursday am. Ah, I cannot believe I am saying this!!

Hopefully, the snow will not keep me away from the hospital tomorrow...wait let me rephrase that, the snow will NOT keep me away from the hospital, but it could get a little hectic since the forecast is for 8-10 inches of snow tomorrow. I cannot and will not miss a day of my girls life right now. I'm not too worried, a Chevy Tahoe can get through anything!

So, we will be keeping our fingers crossed that all goes well.

Also, we took Madelynn and Claire to the pediatrician today and they are doing great! Madelynn is weighing 5lbs 8oz and Claire is up to 5lbs 12oz! We absolutely LOVE their doctor! She is just the sweetest lady ever and we are so glad we chose their practice!

The girls were not too happy about being nakey and having their photos taken,k so this was the best we got. maybe on Friday when we go again we will get better photos!

The girls did awesome last night, I basically took care of them all by myself. Not that Tim didn't want to or wasn't able, I just had a system and kept going. They ate and went right back to sleep and slept for 3 hours, would wake up and I would change their diapers, feed them and then everyone was back to sleep within 30 minutes! It was hectic, but very organized! Way better than I thought. Hoping tonight is just as good, and who knows what it will be like when Natalee comes home, but I can't wait!

Madelynn is HOME!!!!

Yesterday I was finally given a discharge date for Madelynn for tomorrrow, Tuesday but when I called this morning to check on the girls as I do every morning, the nurse asked me if I would "be interested in taking Madelynn home today".....UMM, HELLO, YES!!!!!! It was so funny they way she asked me, like I might be burdend at the idea of bringing her home today instead of tomorrow! I wonder, do people actually not want their children to come as soon as they possibly can? Weird, not this Momma! I hung up the phone, called Tim, my mom and his mom and told them the good news!

Basically, the nurse said that Madelynn had been doing great on her bottles, sucking them down in ten minutes, so she didn't know why Madelynn needed to stay any longer! She asked the Nures Practioner and she aked the doctor during rounds and then they called and gave us the ok! We are so excited and Claire is so excited too! She misses her sister so much!!

So after Tim got home, my sister, Christine came over to watch Claire, so that way we could spend some time with Natalee, since Claire is not allowed back in the NICU.

We fed Natalee her bottle and spent some time holding her while they got everything ready for Madelynn's discharge. We talked with the nurse practioner about the plans for Natalee also. Natalee will be off her IV fluids tonight, however her picc line will stay in just incase it's needed once again. She will be going into an open crib on Wednesday and if she continues to drink all her bottles, she could come home as early as Friday!!!!!! I was totally shocked to be honest! Less than two weeks ago, our sweet girl was so sick we didn't what God had in store for her and now we are talking discharge! We are over the moon thrilled.

We made it home!!

But for now, we cannot believe there are TWO of our beautiful daughters home with us!

Check out the matching scratches!

 Getting ready for bed...

Praying for a somewhat calm night...sleep well my little loves!

Natalee - YOU ARE ONE MONTH OLD!

Our little string-bean! You are so amazing and have proven to be stronger than we ever could have imagined. You were the third daughter born to us, Natalee Lynn, at 11:17am on Thursday, December 23rd, 2010! Mommy was 32 weeks and 2 days pregnant. You were known as Baby C from the beginning, our singleton, with the most room to move around and grow, or so they thought.

When you were born you were so strong. You were stuck up in Mommy's left side and you were hard to come out, but you did just fine. Mommy actually got to kiss your sweet head and feel your warm face a few minutes after you were born. You didn't need any oxygen support in the beginning! Daddy got to see you for a second, he didn't want to leave Mommy's side during the delivery and since you and your sisters were born so quickly after one another, there wasn't much time to walk around and take photos right away.

 

At birth you weighed 2lbs. 13oz, the smallest of your sisters. You had dark eyes and super soft dark brown hair, just enough not to be bald, but nothing too wild. Perfect, if you ask Mommy! You were such a cute little peanut.

You did eventually go on CPAP for oxygen support for a day. You are amazing and your lungs were so strong so you didn't need much help breathing!

Mommy finally got to see you on Christmas morning, after a very, very long 48 hours of not being able to see your beautiful face. However, your Daddy was enjoying taking care of you, taking your temperature and changing your diapers. He would come back from visiting you in the NICU and say how cute you were and reassure Mommy that you were fine! Daddy was the first to hold you. Mommy is sorry that she didn't get to know a lot about you in the first few days of your life. Mommy was very sick and not conscious for most of the two days after your birth. Daddy got to hold you a lot in the first few days of your life. He said you were "his baby" and knew just what you liked right from the start. Mommy was a little jealous.

When Mommy finally saw you, you were so beautiful, it took her breath away. There were lots of tears, Mommy couldn't believe how perfect you were, especially for being so teny tiny. Mommy called you her little birdy. You have the softest skin and little fur on your back. But it's nothing to be concerned about, it's jsut so sweet and will fall off before long. Mommy loves it though, you are the sweetest thing she has ever seen. Ten toes and ten fingers; everyone commented on your and your sister's beautiful long and thin fingers. Everyone says that you girls are going to do something with your hands. Maybe an artist, or play the flute, a basketball player...who knows, you all just have the most beautiful fingers.

Your lips are perfectly pink and so sweet to kiss, but so little. A million kisses a day wouldn't be enough! You love to pucker your lips and stick your little tongue out! Your eyes are so big and beautiful. You are always starring at Mommy and Daddy and are just so beautiful. You have this peace on your face, it's hard to describe, you just are such an angel. Mommy could stare at you all day. You have the longest eye lashes of your sisters too.

Once you started eating, after a few days of life, you developed some blood in your stool. Mommy got very worried because your doctors said it could be an infection, but thankfully it was just an anal fissure, probably from a reaction from Mommy's breast milk, so they took you off of it and put you on a special formula. They think that you might be lactose-intolerant. Mommy hated to know that something was causing you pain and she wanted to take it all away from you. The blood cleared up after a week and the fissure seemed to subside but then all of the sudden the blood came back, much stronger and brighter. You didn't want to eat and the nurses said that it was probably from the taste of the special formula you were on. Then you started spitting up a lot and Mommy got worried. You didn't act like yourself and by the next morning, you were very sick. You have had a very hard last 10 days. On Wednesday, January 12th, 2011, you got very sick, very quickly. Your IV went back in to immediately give you antibiotics, protein and fat. You were taken off all food. The doctors weren't quite sure what was wrong with you and it was very scary. You became very, very pale and by Thursday evening, January 13th, you were at your sickest. You had a very bad infection in your bowel, confirmed by blood work. This disease you had is called NEC, Necrotizing Enterocolitis. It is unknown as to how you developed it and why it happened, but it did. Your bowel began to die and we did not know how bad it really was. Mommy and Daddy were very scared. You had many x-rays taken, blood work drawn and were monitored very, very closely. The pediatric surgeon was called incase you needed immediate surgery but thankfully it wasn't needed. You had one and only one "brady" where your heart rate dropped and you had to be stimulated to pick it back up. Your temperature was low, which was not a good thing either and you were put back on oxygen support and then had to have a tube put down your throat all the way to your intestines to let out the air and bile that was causing your tummy to expand. You tummy looked white and grey, and even scared many of your nurses. You were so sick, baby girl. The bile coming out of you was bright green, and very scary looking. Mommy hated to see you so sick. She cried and cried. When Mommy and Daddy had to leave on Thursday night it was one of the hardest things she ever had to do. You were so sick, many were unsure if you would survive and to be honest Mommy and Daddy weren't even sure. It was so unbelieveably hard to leave you that night. Mommy can't even explain how hard it was. She is so sorry for all the pain you have felt. She called every few hours to check on you and to know your progress. Thankfully it seemed that the doctors caught the NEC just in time.

During the time you were sick, you maintained your body weight and actually gained weight. You had a unique case of NEC, the doctors were perplexed. You never had any acid in your blood and you continued to have bowel sounds so they were pretty sure that none of your bowel was blocked. Sometimes, or a lot of the time, scar tissues forms to heal the dying bowel or the dying bowel collapses and creates a narrowing or blockage and the only way to fix it is through surgery. Thankfully you didn't need surgery. The nurses and doctors were also worried that your bowel could perforrate but thankfully it did not either. You could have died right away if that had happened. You had a picc line put in your left arm to help with all of your antibiotics and TPN. You were being stuck every day for new IV's and it was horrible. It took four different tries an four different people to finally get the picc line in your arm. Mommy was there when one of the Neonatalogists finally was able to get it right. She wanted to kiss him, she was so happy. You were so brave. Mommy was so proud of you.

You are one lucky little girl. You will always know how lucky you are. God was so good to you. He protected you, gave you strenght and comforted you when Mommy and Daddy couldn't be right there with you. Your infection slowly subsided and you were feeling much better after a few long and hard days.


You have had some wonderful and very sweet nurses in the days that you are spending in the NICU. Mommy crys every single time that she has to leave you, it breaks her heart in a million pieces, but knowing you have such knowledgeable and sweet people taking such great care of you makes it a little easier. There were also so many people who have come to visit you and your sisters in the NICU. Some of your visitors have been Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Christine, Aunt Megan and Uncle Julian, Nana, your Great-Nana, your Great-Aunt Bonnie, your Great-Grandma and Al, your Great-Aunt Tina and Great-Unlce John, Aunt Kim (she was the first to hold you other than Mommy and Daddy) and Uncle Roger, Uncle Nate, Kristin and Jeff, Lisa, Melissa, Ann and Jack, Chantelle and baby Isla. Your friend, Isla, was born on December 26th and was in the area right next to you. Mommy was so happy you (and she) had a friend in the NICU, but Isla was a full-term baby and luckily didn't need much help, so she got to go home right away with her Mommy and Daddy. You have had so many people praying for you to be strong and to grow healthy, everyone loves you so much!


You are currently still in the NICU. You currently weigh 3lbs. 15oz. and are finally back on food. You started back on food on Wednesday. You are increasing your feed by 2cc's every 12 hours until you get to 26cc's, where you were when you stopped eating. Today you are on 16cc's and are taking it all in your bottle. Way to go little girl! You were so hungry the two days before the doctors decided you could eat again, you wanted to eat everything in sight. You tried eating the nurse's fingers, your Mommy's fingers, your fingers and it looked like you thought if you stucked on your paci hard enough something would come out. Mommy hated not having you eat, but it was for the best. Everyone was so happy when you started getting better. You are so strong Natalee!!!
 Your eyes were checked and are fine, just still immature, you will need to still see the eye doctor in two weeks again to make sure your eyes are fully mature. The doctor believes everything will be fine though, it's completely normal for preemies. You will get your ears checks once you come out of your isolate. You have to hit 4lbs before you can come out of your isolate, but you should be there by the end of the next week.


You are getting a bath every 2-3 days right now and you do pretty well. You love the warm water and Mommy loves giving you your baths. You and your sisters have the cutest outfits, all of the nurses think you all are so cute.

It has been very hard having your sister at home and you and Madelynn in the NICU, but Mommy and Daddy try to spend as much time as we can with you. Mommy comes every evening, she would never miss a day of your life. Never, never, never. Madelynn is watching over you, she is laying right by your side. Do you see her when you are faced that way? She doesn't want to leave you there by yourself so she is pretending not to be good at eating. She loves you so much and Claire misses you so much at home. She loves being the only child right now but she cannot wait until you come home. She misses and loves you so much! Mommy loves to know you and Madelynn are together though.

You have proven to be a fighter and the strongest person your Mommy has ever met. She has no idea where the strenght insde of you comes from. You are going to be one strong woman. You are here for a purpose, Natalee, always remember that. God chose you for our family and you are very important.
 Sweet girl, you are changing daily before our eyes and time is flying by, we don't want to miss anything. We love you so much Natalee, and we are so proud of you! Continue to stay strong little girl, grow, grow, grow...our sweet love. Mommy and Daddy love you forever and ever, to the moon and back.

Here you are at one month old: