Happy Homecoming Day, Claire!!!!!!!!

Claire, you were the first of your sisters to come home. It was a very bitter-sweet day but we were so happy to bring you home after 21 days in the NICU.

Last year on this date, it was so hard. One of the hardest days of my life EVER. Tim and I brought one of our daughters home and left two in the NICU, one of which I was so worried wouldn't make it through the night. It was bad. That bad. So bad, I started reading the post and just stopped. There's a part of me that NEVER wants to remember or relive those few weeks when I thought one of my daughters might die. 

It wasn't the exact exciting homecoming we had planned for our sweet Claire-bear, but it was wonderful to have one of our daughters home, and by our side throughout the night. It actually made the night easier to have something to focus on, instead of what was really going on in the NICU with Natalee. I can remember the night like it was yesterday, the tears leaving the NICU and our sweet nurse, one of our favorites, Stephanie being so kind and loving. Bless her caring nature and being with my sweet sick little girl all night and taking my many phone calls throughout the night.

Claire, you have slept in our home, your home for 365 days and for that I am so thankful. You came home at 4lbs 8oz and now you weigh 17lbs 8oz!

I don't kn0w if I ever posted these photos...I'm sure I did, but here they are again.

Just arrived home! You were so tiny!! We have a baby in our room!!!

In complete disbelief that one of my daughters in right next to me, finally!

And tonight, as Claire goes to bed as her hammy little self, so sweet and so perfect in every way!

Happy Homecoming Day Claire!!!!!!!

ONE YEAR AGO...

Last year, today, I was scheduled for my c-section with the girls! 

-- 01.11.11 --

I thought it was a cool date and I tried SO hard to make it until then.

But God had other plans and that's okay!

Our girls were healthy and happy and we rejoiced on the 11th of January last year, as we will each year to come.

I feel like there are so many important dates to rejoice on, even the not so good days, we rejoice because it was in God's hands and we trusted in Him. 

The date...

we met with Dr. Stillman,

when we started our IVF cycle,

when we had my eggies taken out,

when we had our embryo transfer,

when we found out we were finally pregnant,

when we found out we were having triplets,

when we left the fertility clinic,

when we met with Dr. Pinkert,

when we found out we were having 3 girls,

when my c-section was scheduled for,

when we made it past viability,

when we went to the hospital,

when our girls were born,

when we held each of them for the first time,

when each of them came home,

when Natalee got sick,

when Natalee had emergency surgery,

when Natalee was healed and came home finally forever, and our family was complete at home together, at last.

There's almost a date for each month, which is okay by me! It's just one more thing to be happy about and praise Jesus for all his blessings.

So today, I am rejoicing in the beautiful little girls run-crawling (as we call it) around my house on 01.11.12! 

My 26th Birthday Re-Cap!

My birthday was a little different than planned but that's okay. I was looking forward to a quiet day at home until Tim and I went out for dinner, but after waking the girls up and seeing how terrible Madelynn and Claire felt, I decided to take them to the doctors. They had colds but their coughs just really sounded bad and their eyes just didn't look right.


I packed everything up and headed out. It was FREEZING out, like 19 degrees. SO cold. I hated taking them out, but I knew it was best to get them checked out. It was also my FIRST time taking TWO babies out by myself. I always "take" all of them out, but that's when meeting Tammy, just going to my parent's house, or meeting Tim somewhere. So I have no problem leaving the house with all three, but I have never gone into a store or done something with TWO of them by myself yet, but with one of our new double light-weight strollers, it was super easy! I was happy it was manageable, even at 36.5 weeks pregnant and super sick myself! I barely had any voice! Holla!


After diagnoses of RSV, which I talked about in this post, I picked up Natalee from my Mom's house and went home to put these sick babies to bed. They had been refusing to eat and only wanted bottles, so a bottle and to bed it was. They slept great and I was able to get some things done and rest a little myself, it was my birthday after all! 


Later after they woke up, Tim took some photos of me and the girls to compare from last year on my birthday.

Last year!

This year....they're in the same order as above...Claire, Natalee, Madelynn!

The girls were acting crazy and want nothing to do with sitting still!

Who needs toys when we can have to wipe bag!?!?

We then got dressed and headed out to one of my favorite restaurants, Clyde's Tower Oaks Lodge. My best friend gave us a gift card for Christmas and immediately I knew I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. 

Thanks to Aunt Christine and Uncle Nathan for babysitting our sick babies so we could still go out! When we got back at a super late time of 8:30pm, haha, Claire was still awake and wanted some snuggles from Momma!

All and all it was a great 26th birthday! SO happy to have my health and a beautiful family!

The Night Before Our Babies Turned ONE!

Before I get to all the Christmas Posts, I have to get through the girl's first birthday! Phew!

So, Thursday, December 22nd Aunt Christine came over to give the girls some of their birthday presents...because ya know they don't know the difference at this age anyway. I wanted to girls to be able to wear part of their gift on their actual birthday since we were going out for most of the day, so I convinced her to come over the night before!

The girls were truly less than thrilled. Whenever they are out of their "chick pen" they really just want to go for all the stuff they aren't allowed to have...and who cares what presents are in front of them!

My sister got them cute baby uggs which I LOVE and she also got all FOUR of our daughters matching Pottery Barn stockings, which I finally bought for Tim and I to match the girls.

Say no more...this describes these two!!!

Thank you Aunt Christine for our wonderful birthday presents!!

ONE YEAR AGO: December 24th - December 27th

December 24th, after a very hard night, I woke-up and still was very sedated. I had blood taken to see if I needed more transfusions. One of the other perinatalogists in the practice, who I really liked was in my room bright and early to start deflating the balloon that was inside of me, which took most of the day. It was very uncomfortable and therefore more sedated drugs were used to keep me comfortable. I only remember waking up for a minutes here and there and just seeing the doctor in the corner of my eye sitting reading or writing...all day. Such a blessed patient I was to have my doctor never leave my room all day on Christmas Eve! By the late afternoon/evening after the balloon was completely gone, gauze was out (which I'll never forget everyone saying that they could not believe how much gauze was inside of me...all I knew is that it HURT being pulled out!) and I was being told I had to GET UP! Like...get up and put my feet on the ground and walk to the bathroom, which seemed like a mile away. I seriously laughed at the nurses. My legs were so swollen, I couldn't even SIT up, let alone stand and attempt to walk!


But be assured, saying no is not something nurses like to hear. It took FOUR nurses to get me up. Moving each one of my legs at each time, very, very slowly, but they were so sweet. It was completely unbelievable and I will never forget the amount of pain I felt. Pure hell. I have never, ever felt pain like that in my life and I cringe at the thought of having another c-section due to that same pain. 


I did make it to the bathroom, after a very long time, and then trying to find it in you to pee after being on a catheter and sedation for over 30 hours, well it was hard and took a long time! I just remember LOTS of blood and the nurses saying it was all normal! Amen. I barely made it back to a wheel chair before I passed out and I was taken to another room, in the postpartum area and there I said good-bye to all the wonderful nurses that so sweetly cared for me for a very hard few days. Postpartum is so different than Labor and Delivery, which I could tell right away. You don't get near the attention you do when you're in Labor and Delivery.


I remember Tim being really hungry by that time. I can't remember my parents being there then (I'm sure they were) or visitors. I know I had visitors earlier in the day. My SIL and her boyfriend had just flown in from New Mexico and I barely remember her there but I know she was. Same with my MIL, I know once or twice when I opened my eyes, she was there too. I know my husband's co-worker and his wife came by with beautiful flowers and outfits for the girls, which was so sweet, but that was still when I was really out of it.


Tim constantly went back and forth to the NICU to feed, diaper and be with the girls. I was still too sick to see them and it hit me hard that night for the first time. Tim went and picked up some dinner for us, since it was Christmas Eve and I remember when he came back I was a mess. I cried and cried while he was gone because I hadn't seen the girls yet, they weren't with me and I was so jealous he was getting to do everything. Looking back of course, I was so happy and blessed he was there for our girls and wanted to be with them so much. He stepped right up to his role as a Daddy and wore it so proudly! Our girls became everything to him, but the nurses warned him of the more I came out of the sedation, the more I would realize what was finally going on and the more emotions I would feel. And as soon as he had returned from the NICU having this conversation and picking up our food, he walked into me as a HUGE mess. (He told me about his convos with the nurses prior to this situation, a few hours later, when I was better.)


After calming down, eating some real food, talking and praying with my husband, I felt better and knew the next morning, Christmas morning, I would finally get to see and hold my baby girls! 


We watched Christmas Vacation in the dark hospital room that night, holding hands and it was perfect. I'll never forget it. Tim of course, went to feed the girls their night-time feedings and I was okay with that. I wanted him to be there for them and I was so happy he could be! 


That night I was in a lot of pain and needed help to do anything and everything. Every single hour I was peeing buckets and buckets of fluid from the extreme swelling. You can't even imagine that amount of water I was loosing every single hour. I remember I started leaking water from all the holes in my upper legs from where my terbutaline pump was...which lasted for weeks! I guess it is why in three days I lost 48 pounds! Not complaining about that though. My blood pressure was still a mess all of the time and of course the pain was terrible. Also, the lovely night sweats started and those were terrible and lasted for weeks after I gave birth. I can't even describe how bad they are, you are DRENCHED in sweat one moment, and then freezing and shivering the next...lovely hormones!!!!!


December 25th, I woke up early very excited to meet my little girls for the first time. Shoved down my breakfast and I was ready to get going down to the NICU!! I remember trying to remember everything, never wanting to forget anything about those first few moments with each of them. It was pure magic, pure bliss. I was holding my little girls for the first time. I WAS their Momma and they WERE mine!


These are the first few photos of me and Claire...I was just so happy and so in awe!

And me and Madelynn...

And later that day...skin-on-skin with Madelynn. Priceless memories. I was so in awe!

Daddy with Natalee...He always said from the first day, "I know what Natalee likes!"

My parents came down and brought a wonderful Christmas dinner and we opened presents while I rested.

I know we went back and forth to the NICU that day, but I had to be very careful about my high blood pressure. I was so tired and weak, plus pumping was taking everything out of me, every two hours!

December 26th, my blood pressure was still very high and I was still loosing lots of fluids.


Of course we spent most of the day at the NICU and with visitors.


My friend gave birth to her daughter at 9am that morning and when we went to the NICU to see the girls, she was right next to us in the next room with her daughter, Isla. It was so crazy! Isla was fine and just needed a little breathing support, only spent a few hours in the NICU, but it was a memory I'll share with her forever. Our daughters, only three days apart from each other and they were first friends in the NICU! Her best friend, Melissa was there who is also my close friend who I grew up with and her mom is my mom's best friend. Small world, we were having a party in our little corner of the NICU! It was fun!


Later that day, after a nap, I took a shower finally, which was WONDERFUL and then we went back down to the NICU.


We asked if we could get our identical girls close together to see how identical they were and the nurse agreed we could hold them close together. 


One thing I really didn't like was how even when you have multiples, the multiples can't be together. They can be next to one another in their incubators but after spending months and month with one another, I just hated how they were apart from the only people they knew. I mean sharing the same blood supply, same sac, same everything...and then being ripped apart from that. Still something I don't like and I wish hospital regulations would be different for siblings that are healthy and can have contact with one another, even for just a few hours a day. I think they would benefit so much from all being together for a few hours each day, there is nothing like that bond between them. It's a bond I don't know but something I am so happy and blessed to be able to witness over the years.


So here they are together after a few days apart:

Claire

Madelynn

And Natalee chilling in her own room across from her sisters...She was so precious and so tiny. Hence why we called her "our little birdy."

December 27th was a wonderful day and I got to hold all three of my little girls at the same time and therefore we finally got "the first family photo"!


Daddy and Madelynn..

Those sweet little eyes!!!!

You can kinda see hoe BIG my legs still were!!!

Me and my GIRLS!!!!

 And our family is complete!!!! We already look so tired and worn out, but I think I look pretty good after going through all I did!!