ONE YEAR AGO: December 24th - December 27th

December 24th, after a very hard night, I woke-up and still was very sedated. I had blood taken to see if I needed more transfusions. One of the other perinatalogists in the practice, who I really liked was in my room bright and early to start deflating the balloon that was inside of me, which took most of the day. It was very uncomfortable and therefore more sedated drugs were used to keep me comfortable. I only remember waking up for a minutes here and there and just seeing the doctor in the corner of my eye sitting reading or writing...all day. Such a blessed patient I was to have my doctor never leave my room all day on Christmas Eve! By the late afternoon/evening after the balloon was completely gone, gauze was out (which I'll never forget everyone saying that they could not believe how much gauze was inside of me...all I knew is that it HURT being pulled out!) and I was being told I had to GET UP! Like...get up and put my feet on the ground and walk to the bathroom, which seemed like a mile away. I seriously laughed at the nurses. My legs were so swollen, I couldn't even SIT up, let alone stand and attempt to walk!


But be assured, saying no is not something nurses like to hear. It took FOUR nurses to get me up. Moving each one of my legs at each time, very, very slowly, but they were so sweet. It was completely unbelievable and I will never forget the amount of pain I felt. Pure hell. I have never, ever felt pain like that in my life and I cringe at the thought of having another c-section due to that same pain. 


I did make it to the bathroom, after a very long time, and then trying to find it in you to pee after being on a catheter and sedation for over 30 hours, well it was hard and took a long time! I just remember LOTS of blood and the nurses saying it was all normal! Amen. I barely made it back to a wheel chair before I passed out and I was taken to another room, in the postpartum area and there I said good-bye to all the wonderful nurses that so sweetly cared for me for a very hard few days. Postpartum is so different than Labor and Delivery, which I could tell right away. You don't get near the attention you do when you're in Labor and Delivery.


I remember Tim being really hungry by that time. I can't remember my parents being there then (I'm sure they were) or visitors. I know I had visitors earlier in the day. My SIL and her boyfriend had just flown in from New Mexico and I barely remember her there but I know she was. Same with my MIL, I know once or twice when I opened my eyes, she was there too. I know my husband's co-worker and his wife came by with beautiful flowers and outfits for the girls, which was so sweet, but that was still when I was really out of it.


Tim constantly went back and forth to the NICU to feed, diaper and be with the girls. I was still too sick to see them and it hit me hard that night for the first time. Tim went and picked up some dinner for us, since it was Christmas Eve and I remember when he came back I was a mess. I cried and cried while he was gone because I hadn't seen the girls yet, they weren't with me and I was so jealous he was getting to do everything. Looking back of course, I was so happy and blessed he was there for our girls and wanted to be with them so much. He stepped right up to his role as a Daddy and wore it so proudly! Our girls became everything to him, but the nurses warned him of the more I came out of the sedation, the more I would realize what was finally going on and the more emotions I would feel. And as soon as he had returned from the NICU having this conversation and picking up our food, he walked into me as a HUGE mess. (He told me about his convos with the nurses prior to this situation, a few hours later, when I was better.)


After calming down, eating some real food, talking and praying with my husband, I felt better and knew the next morning, Christmas morning, I would finally get to see and hold my baby girls! 


We watched Christmas Vacation in the dark hospital room that night, holding hands and it was perfect. I'll never forget it. Tim of course, went to feed the girls their night-time feedings and I was okay with that. I wanted him to be there for them and I was so happy he could be! 


That night I was in a lot of pain and needed help to do anything and everything. Every single hour I was peeing buckets and buckets of fluid from the extreme swelling. You can't even imagine that amount of water I was loosing every single hour. I remember I started leaking water from all the holes in my upper legs from where my terbutaline pump was...which lasted for weeks! I guess it is why in three days I lost 48 pounds! Not complaining about that though. My blood pressure was still a mess all of the time and of course the pain was terrible. Also, the lovely night sweats started and those were terrible and lasted for weeks after I gave birth. I can't even describe how bad they are, you are DRENCHED in sweat one moment, and then freezing and shivering the next...lovely hormones!!!!!


December 25th, I woke up early very excited to meet my little girls for the first time. Shoved down my breakfast and I was ready to get going down to the NICU!! I remember trying to remember everything, never wanting to forget anything about those first few moments with each of them. It was pure magic, pure bliss. I was holding my little girls for the first time. I WAS their Momma and they WERE mine!


These are the first few photos of me and Claire...I was just so happy and so in awe!

And me and Madelynn...

And later that day...skin-on-skin with Madelynn. Priceless memories. I was so in awe!

Daddy with Natalee...He always said from the first day, "I know what Natalee likes!"

My parents came down and brought a wonderful Christmas dinner and we opened presents while I rested.

I know we went back and forth to the NICU that day, but I had to be very careful about my high blood pressure. I was so tired and weak, plus pumping was taking everything out of me, every two hours!

December 26th, my blood pressure was still very high and I was still loosing lots of fluids.


Of course we spent most of the day at the NICU and with visitors.


My friend gave birth to her daughter at 9am that morning and when we went to the NICU to see the girls, she was right next to us in the next room with her daughter, Isla. It was so crazy! Isla was fine and just needed a little breathing support, only spent a few hours in the NICU, but it was a memory I'll share with her forever. Our daughters, only three days apart from each other and they were first friends in the NICU! Her best friend, Melissa was there who is also my close friend who I grew up with and her mom is my mom's best friend. Small world, we were having a party in our little corner of the NICU! It was fun!


Later that day, after a nap, I took a shower finally, which was WONDERFUL and then we went back down to the NICU.


We asked if we could get our identical girls close together to see how identical they were and the nurse agreed we could hold them close together. 


One thing I really didn't like was how even when you have multiples, the multiples can't be together. They can be next to one another in their incubators but after spending months and month with one another, I just hated how they were apart from the only people they knew. I mean sharing the same blood supply, same sac, same everything...and then being ripped apart from that. Still something I don't like and I wish hospital regulations would be different for siblings that are healthy and can have contact with one another, even for just a few hours a day. I think they would benefit so much from all being together for a few hours each day, there is nothing like that bond between them. It's a bond I don't know but something I am so happy and blessed to be able to witness over the years.


So here they are together after a few days apart:

Claire

Madelynn

And Natalee chilling in her own room across from her sisters...She was so precious and so tiny. Hence why we called her "our little birdy."

December 27th was a wonderful day and I got to hold all three of my little girls at the same time and therefore we finally got "the first family photo"!


Daddy and Madelynn..

Those sweet little eyes!!!!

You can kinda see hoe BIG my legs still were!!!

Me and my GIRLS!!!!

 And our family is complete!!!! We already look so tired and worn out, but I think I look pretty good after going through all I did!!