Oh my! My sweet little girls, you are ONE! Today is the day you were born! I can barely believe that an entire year has gone by. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday when I was crying tears to your Daddy thinking we might never be blessed with a baby and yet here we are already with the three of you already turning one! I cannot believe how fast time flies. It's almost not fair. I want you to stay little forever, yet I cannot wait to see what the future holds for you each. It is so bittersweet. I cherish every single moment of each day because I just want to soak it all in and remember everything.
I always wanted a little girl and I had no idea God would bless me as He has. The three of you are nothing short of miracles and you each have big purposes for being here. Never forget that you are each a miracle to your Daddy and I. God has a plan for each of you.
I never knew I could love someone as much as I love each one of you. I never knew the exact amount a mother's love could hold until I became your Momma, even though I love you more each day than the day before. You have made life worth living. You have made my life complete and being your Momma was only something I dreamed of until I saw each of your little heart beating in my tummy. And then holding you, smelling you, counting your fingers and toes, running my fingers through your soft brown hair, looking into your eyes and kissing every inch of your skin, I love each and everything about each of you. You are beautiful inside and out and I wouldn't change a single thing. You are exactly what God intended you to be.
I still have moments where I hear one of you laugh or I catch a smile in the corner of my eye and I can't believe each of you are mine. Even after a year, it still has not sunk in. I am a Momma. I am your Momma. And you are my little girls. My little ladies. My little chicks. Each of you are everything to me. I love you more than anything in this world. My heart aches with love for you, and may you always know how much you are loved each and everyday of your life, no matter how old you are.
I am always here for you. To hold you no matter how big you may be, to give a hug, a kiss, a supportive touch, I am and will be always there for you. Nothing is too much for me to handle and nothing is too much for me to help you with. I will always be right here, right where you need me. I am your Momma.
Seeing you discover the world and life around you, I am amazed. You are all so smart. I love discovering the world through your eyes, even at this young age. It is so awesome. It is also so neat to see each of you discover each of your sisters. I love that you have each other. May you always love one another and always be there for each other. You were made together, grew together, were born together and will hopefully always be side by side together, forever.
Through this first year being your Momma, it has been hard. It was a challenge to conceive you, a challenge to carry you for 32w2d and it has been nothing short of a challenge this first year caring for each of you. But don't get me wrong, they were all challenges that I was so ready for and so blessed God gave me the opportunity to grow through and overcome. I know there are many more challenges to come with raising the three of you, almost four daughters the same age, and I look forward to it in the years to come. But this year with NICU time, surgeries, sicknesses, hospital and doctor visits, long, long, long days and nights....it seems to all be a big blur at this time. When people ask what it was like when you all came home from the hospital....I honestly cannot remember. I know your Daddy and I got through it though. We always work as a team, no matter what. It didn't matter how stinky your diapers or trying to feed all three of you at once, Daddy did it all. I thank God for giving me your Daddy each day because without him I would have never been able to manage the challenges I faced this past year. I am so lucky to have him and you are even more lucky he is your Daddy.
There were times this past year that I was so tired, I cried. I cried for the Lord's help in giving me guidance and support that I was doing something right. Some days I was very lost. I was so scared I was messing up being your Momma. Scared I wasn't doing enough, but I was doing everything I could manage. It was hard. Really hard. It was hard doing so much alone so much of the time. I question everything and I hope I am doing the right thing. I hope I am worthy enough of being your Momma and I hope you feel I am doing a good job. Again, thank God for your Daddy, your Nana, your Grandma and Grandpa, and your aunts and uncles. I could not and would not have made it without them. Daddy may have been there in the middle of the night, every night, but all of your family was always there by phone call or ready to visit and help. Your Nana came down to play with you and help with you every single Saturday and Momma would have gone crazy if it wasn't for her. She is a lifesaver, an angel and someone you all love so much. Your love for her is undeniable. Grandma came over in the middle of the night to stay with you while Mommy and Daddy had to take one of you to the hospital and was here many evenings helping out. Aunt Christine and Grandpa would come over in the evenings sometimes and help us with feeding each of you. Uncle Nate always had his hands open to hold on of you, feed you or even change your diaper. And of course Aunt Megan was always just a phone call away and anytime she was here visiting she had open arms and ready to play with you!
You are all loved so much. So much by everyone, but no one knows the depth of a mother's unconditional love until you are a mother. I swear by it. You won't even know the love I speak of until you, God-willing become mothers yourselves, if that's what you so choose.
Happy 1st Birthday sweet girls. Mommy loves you, literally more than words can describe. In fact, there are no words to describe my love. I love you so much, just doesn't seem to do my love justice.
But for now, I love you so much will have to do. Giving you a million and one kisses each day will have to do. Knowing I am always there for you, no matter what will have to do.
Happy Birthday Madelynn. Happy Birthday Claire. Happy Birthday Natalee.
My Love Always and Forever and No Matter What,
Your Momma
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