Natalee

Please pray for our little Natalee.

As you have read Natalee had some blood in her stools for about a week and the doctors were trying their hardest to figure it out. Well, it finally, after seven long days, went away with the help of some hypoallergenic formula and the doctors contributed it to a lactose-intolerance issue which would hopefully clear itself up as she grows. Well the last day or so, Natalee had been acting a little uninterested in her feedings (during nippling) and they thought it was because of the horrible taste of the formula. So, they switched her to another one early yesterday morning (a soy based one) and still nothing, she wanted nothing to do with her bottle and during her tube feeding, she would throw some of it up. It was very weird and I didn't like it. I knew something was wrong right there.

The nurse last night was so sweet and said she would watch her very closely. Early this morning we got a phone call from the nurse practitioner and she said that Natalee once again had blood in her stool, was very pale and lethargic so they were stopping all feedings. They put in an IV, put her on 3 anti-biotics, took abdominal x-rays, blood work and were monitoring her very closely. I was so scared when I heard the news. I got everything ready and got to the hospital where I found a very sick baby. She was so pale, but had her eyes open. The nurse was ready to change her isolate (they do this every ten days) so she said I could hold her for a little while and then that would be it for awhile. I held her as tight as I could and starred at her the whole hour. She was whimpering and moaning the whole time. I cried and cried. She kept dropping her heart rate, but picking it back up, but she has never done that. Her blood work came back. She had inflammation and an infection. Her x-ray came back. She had pockets of air in her intestines. All not good, but not as bad as they thought. They cancelled the consult with the pediatric surgeon. We will wait.

So, we waited. Around 2pm, she had another x-ray, still looked the same so then they decided to put a tube down her throat all the way to her intestines to suck out the air and bile. Her belly looked huge. The bile is green. She was getting more and more white. WHITE. I mean, ghost like, white. You can see all her veins in her chest and abdomen. Around 6pm, she had her first "brady" where she dropped her heart rate and had to be stimulated to pick it back up. Then came the oxygen. I lost it. The nurse practitioner said she is getting worse, but she expects it before she gets better. She said it just looks like a major intestinal infection. Possible c-diff. They just don't know. 

So, tonight instead of feeling the excitement of bringing one of our daughters home, our hearts are aching for Natalee. Today has been hard. Harder than I really know. I am so scared. I cannot put into words what I feel right now. Everyone says she will be fine, but they don't see what Tim and I are seeing and hearing. It is breaking my heart. I can barely look at her, but yet I can't stop starring at her. I just don't know. I am so scared. This is my daughter, our daughter, our little 3lb 5oz child who is so sick. I cannot stop crying. I am numb. I feel like my heart is going to burst.

Madelynn and her are separated tonight. Natalee had to go back to the "other side of the NICU" where the babies are sick. Madelynn stayed on the "growers and feeders" side. So, all of my girls are separated, as much as they ever been. Breaks my heart. They need each other, I need them to be together.

They are doing another culture on her stool tonight, there was lots of blood. They drew more blood. We signed a consent for her to get a blood transfusion. They did another x-ray. X-ray showed more air, but not a significant amount more. No more bradys so far, other than that one. Blood work didn't show any improvement, just a little worse, but they expect that. She is stable. We are hopeful and we must pray.

That is all for now. I need sleep but I don't know if I can. Must feed this little princess next to me. There's a baby in our house tonight, our daughter. One of our daughters. Thank you God for her.

All we ask is your continued thoughts and prayers. Love to all.