How are the Girls?

The girls are doing great! I have their "One Month Old" post coming tomorrow but here is just what's going on right now!

Claire:

Claire went to the pediatrician yesterday and is now weighing 5lbs. 8oz! She is such a porker. She's drinking 60cc's (2 ounces) at each feeding, 3 hours apart. I am very strict with staying on this schedule of eating every three hours. She is doing great on it, probably because she has been since Day 1 in the NICU, so she is very used to it. She wakes up about 15 minutes prior to eating and we change her diaper, warm her bottle and she sucks it down in no time. Normally it takes her no longer than 15 minutes and she burps and is back to sleep. She eats at 1am, 4am, 7am, 10am, 1pm, 4pm, 7pm and 10pm. She stays awake a lot during the day, stares at us, and grunts like crazy. She has this little grunty laugh, it's soo cute. The pediatrician says the grunting is a preemie thing--I think it's so darn cute though! Also, the pediatrician said that Claire's head and neck muscles are so strong. She said the way Claire holds her head up and moves around and looks at everything is something she wouldn't expect to see until she is around 4 months, but Claire is just excelled. Should I expect any less from a girl who didn't want to breath at all at birth and had to go on the ventilator, but yet was the first to come home? She is quite excelled for her age! HAHA, she is such a sweet girl and we are enjoying every moment of her being an only child right now! She loves it too. Tim is SO in love with her, I mean don't get us wrong, we love all of the girls so much, but it's so different having Claire at home and the bonding that can begin here. No monitors, no wires, just her cute little peanut self. We just love it! I can't imagine how fun it will be when they all come home!

She was out cold in Daddy's spot after he left for work!

After she had her eye drops put in at the eye doctor on Wednesday...she obviously was telling us enough is enough!

No more photos Mom!!!

 Madelynn:

Our little stinker. She has a mind of her own and she doesn't care what anyone else thinks. Madelynn is still in the NICU, in an open crib of course, just...well, chilling. She thinks the NICU is a hotel; I'm totally convinced. She does just what she can to almost make it home but then falls backwards and then can't come home. I don't know if she is just watching over Natalee, she is the big sister ya know, but she just is at her own pace. There is nothing wrong with her, she sucks down her 38cc's in 10 minutes sometimes, and then other times she takes 30 minutes and other times she drinks until she is full and that's that. There is no convincing her to drink her bottle when she is full. To be honest I am getting a little frustrated with her. She is 4lbs. 15 oz now, so she is growing strong but I just feel like she knows what's up. She knows that she will still get fed even if she doesn't have to work at it. So today, I asked the nurse to talk to the doctor during rounds about not gavaging her if she doesn't finish her bottle. She normally only has to have a few cc's gavaged maybe once or twice, but still. So, I think this is a good idea. I mean Claire sometimes doesn't drink a FULL 60 cc's at EVERY feeding, but she's still growing and does a fine job most of the time! I just don't see why Madelynn HAS to finish EVERY.SINGLE.BOTTLE at EACH feeding, even when she is doing most of it. If in 24 hours, she only had to have 10 cc's gavaged, and ate 38cc's at every other feeding, what's the problem with that? But I am not the doctor nor the nurse and so I trust their opinions and they know best. Plus we only want the best for Madelynn, so it's ok.

I just feel that it already goes against what I will do when the girl's are older with food. I will always encourage my children to eat what's on their plate, and they will know the importance of it, but I will not force my children to eat when they do not want to. Their are way too many fat children in this world and my children will not be one of them. They will eat healthy and learn to stop eating when they are full. Apparently Madelynn is quite excelled also and has already mastered to understand when she is full and to stop eating. So I guess I can't really be frustrated at that!

 Could she get any more cute?!

So as soon as she is drinking good enough for the doctors, she will get to come home. We will see whenever that may be. I have serious talks with her each day when I am holding her and feeding her, but she continues to show me that she goes at her own pace, no matter what. Silly girl.

Natalee:

Our sweet little string bean! Thank you Jesus she is doing so much better. She had a normal x-ray back on Wednesday morning and her infectious level went down t0 5.1, from 24.9. They started her back on food on Thursday morning. She was SO hungry! She was trying to eat everything in sight, the nurses hands, my hands, her hands, her paci. So she started on 22cc's of NeoCat (I think that's what it's called) and is now up to 14cc's. They are increasing her 2cc's every 12 hours until she gets to 20cc's and then they will stop there for a little while. She has continued to gain weight and thankfully she never lost any weight. She is up to 3lbs. 11 ounces! Today is her last day of antibiotics! She will be off of TPN also tomorrow. She did get a picc line in and it will stay in a few more days to makes sure everything is ok when she is off the antibiotics and TPN. I did not want them to take the picc line out at all until necessary because I do not want Natalee to be stuck anymore! She has been through hell and back. It took four different times of them sedating her over three days and four different people to get the picc line finally in, so they better make sure everything is fine with her before they take it out. AT this point they still do not think that there is any blockages or any need for surgery. Let's pray it stays that way!

I feel so horrible for her. She is going to be so spoiled, I know. I feel so guilty that she has had to go through so much the last month, the only month of her life. I know she will luckily not remember anything of it but I do. Her poor screams, her eyes starring up at me while they taped her down on the exam bed trying to do the picc line. Her little, sad eyes, looking up at me while she was screaming, I just cried right a long with her. She is the strongest thing I have ever met. I do not want her to feel one more ounce of pain. I wish I could take it all away. Every last little pinch. The doctor was examining her eyes on Thursday night and I almost lost it then again, I just can't bear listening to her crying when people mess with her. I want her to feel nothing but comfort and I pray every night God gives her comfort and strenght.

The first four photos are of Natalee when she was feeling better, off the oxygen, but still with the tube down her throat and IV's, so before the picc line too.

 She is just so precious!!!!

 Feed me that whopping 2cc's Momma!

On Wednesday night there was a baby born right before I got to the NICU, which was right next to us, in the room Natalee was in originally when she was just born and it was very, very sick. Even though the nurses and doctors worked as hard as they could, the baby was going to die. It was around 34 weeks I heard, but I have no idea what was wrong with the little girl or if the family knew she was sick or what, but it was the saddest thing I have heard heard. The priest came, the family was there and then I heard the dad tell the neonatalogist that they chose not to resuscitate anymore once her heart dropped. They finally wheeled the mom in on her bed and the baby died about an hour later. The mom whaled and screamed, the dad cried, they held each other, the door couldn't be shut because of the bed sticking out, so the rest of us just had to listen. I prayed and prayed and prayed for that family while I cried along with them holding my baby feeling so guilty. It was heart-wrenching, heart-breaking, my body hurt for that mom. It is something I will never forget, unfortunately. I was holding Natalee the whole time and I couldn't stop thinking that it could have been Tim and I so easily. I don't know why it wasn't to be honest. I don't know why God saved my child when so many other suffer and die from the same disease. We are so lucky and I am so grateful to God for his blessings. My baby almost died, but she was saved. She has a purpose for being here, I know that. I owe my life to serving God, always and forever.