Last night was the first night I attempted sleep without the help of my beloved sleeping pill. I really want to be a big girl and stop using it but every time I have tried in the past six years, I fail. Because this drug is not a sleep-aid, but an anti-depressant, with an "off-label" to help insomnia, it is not one of the worse things you can do in pregnancy. But of course, I don't want to put any harm to the babies in their further growth, so even though the OB says it'd ok, but my prescribing doctor, says no, I will be trying my hardest to make this work.
As I lay in bed listening to Tim sleep, I am flooded with emotions....so jealous that he can sleep, why can't I be normal and just flipin' go to sleep, I could sleep all day if I wanted to and then when it's finally dark I can't sleep at all...UGH! Benadryl doesn't do anything, and melatonin, I will try tonight, but I do not have high hopes! Because I can't sleep, I twist and turn, pee every 45 minutes because I can't stop thinking about having to pee, I am just so restless, I can feel my body not being able to relax. Finally, I took some Tylenol and it helped relax me, so I could get a few minutes of sleep, but at 6:00am sharp, 4 hours exactly after taking it, I was wide awake! Wait, not wide awake...awake and pissed off, and so tired of not being able to sleep!!!
Today, I feel horrible. I want to lay here and nap all day since I really have noting to do but I know that won't help me for later tonight. My nausea feels worse today because I think I am just so tired and restless. It's way too hot to go outside and I already decided I wasn't cooking dinner tonight, instead left overs. The laundry is done, the house is in order and clean...what's a girl to do???! I feel like I have read every book I have already and my bed rest hasn't even begun.
I'm bored, lonely and tired. Blah. I trust that with the help of the Lord I will be able to get through this struggling time. Only he knows my inner-most strenghts and weaknesses, and will carry me through this. I can do it and I will.
I feel like I could have wrote this exact post! I have always been a huge night owl and have such a hard time falling asleep at night. All the while listening to my hubs sleep like a baby. I feel your pain. Because being preg and needing to pee every hour definitely hasn't helped!
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