Reality

On Saturday Tim was working all day and on Friday night I was laying in bed, so looking forward to a rainy day indoors with my pooch and kitties; but when I woke up on Saturday morning, it was sunny and I couldn't think of anything worse then staying home all day, alone. Hmm...what to do? One thought crossed my mind, and within minutes I was out the door with my sunglasses on and coffee in hand...

YARD SALES

If you don't know me, I LOVE YARD SALES. I remember when Tim and I started dating and he had nothing in his condo and with a woman now living there, we needed stuff and since we were on limited budgets, yard sales were a really fun way to get up on Saturday morning and get going. I would browse Craigslist for any that would stand out, we would make a plan on where we wanted to go and get-up and go! We had so much fun and those days and memories we shared, just doing something so simple, I will cherish.

And so...I started in Poolesville. One of the developments in town were having a "Community Yard Sale" and so I drove around and finally stopped at one. What caught my eye, you may ask...of course, baby stuff. I walked over to the woman and said hello, as I bent down to look at this super cute and brand new Winnie-the-Pooh vibrator seat/musical playing thing...for 5 BUCKS...the lady asked.."Oh how old is your baby"?

Silence.

What to say?

This wasn't my first time buying baby stuff, without a baby. Just take a look at my guest bedroom...

But I was caught off guard.

I kinda laughed and just said, "There isn't one...yet. My husband I are trying but I just love Winnie-the-Pooh, so I don't think I can let this pass me up"!

I bought that and two cute and also brand new outfits for .50 cents. Man, I LOVE a good deal!

I then got in the car and couldn't help thinking about what had just happened. I remembered my last RESOLVE support group meeting last week when we talked a lot about how "no one wants to talk about infertility". Almost all of the women in the group, do not share with others their infertility struggles and this is very different than me. I do not hide the fact that I will not be able to have a baby on my/our own. I do not hide the fact that we are doing IVF.

I can't.

I need to talk about it. I want to talk about. I want to share with others. We want to share with others.

WE DO NOT CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK.

People may say...it's not God's will, it's controversial, it's a lot of money, it's a lot of stress, it's not how it's supposed to be...

Well, let me tell you one thing...

This is God's will. We trust in Him that He is leading us in the right direction. 

 What we care about is having a baby and giving to our child what we give to each other.

So...later that day, I wound up at another yard sale/baby bazaar and when I started browsing, the two women having the yard sale, said, again,

"How old is your baby"?

I thought, I guess I didn't get the memo that you can't touch baby stuff if you aren't pregnant or currently posses a baby...

UGH.

I smiled and said, "Oh my husband I are going through IVF, and hoping this is the month, so ya never know I guess, but I'm sure going to be prepared".

One of the lady's smiled and said, "If it wasn't for IVF, my daughter wouldn't be here. Keep your head up, it will happen".

I was again, speechless, but this time in a good way. 

This is the reason why I don't hide my story. If others want to, that is fine. But for me, I need to talk about it.

I love to hear other success stories. I need to hear them.

When I went home, I relished in the cute little things that I bought (and of course the GREAT deals). I put the stuff in the closet and layed on the guest bed; my old bed, and stared, and I stared...at all the stuff I have been collecting...at all the dreams I have for our child.