Things I’ve learned from working in a jail…good, bad and funny…

1. Never have your phone number and address listed in the phone book, because you never know who might look you up!
   
2. Never let your guard down…not even for one second.
   
3. Assume that someone's watching…
   
4. When you think you know everything about someone…think again.
   
5. Truth isn't always face value.
   
6. People can lie as easy as saying their name and you would never know…we (social workers) have a name for these people and it is; sociopath.
   
7. Remember…you just never know!!!
   
8. Great stories can come from working in an interesting setting.
   
9. When you think "you've heard it all", something else blow's your mind and you can't believe that it actually came out of someone's mouth, but you continue like you never even heard it.
   
10. Drugs/alcohol kills brain cells and thus the fact that we have so many stupid people in jail.
    
11. "Weed isn't a drug and it will be legalized"….SURE, keep telling yourselves that….
    
12. Looking at the face of a woman who killed her own children is an eye-opening experience, literally…and make sure a trash can is near you so you don't have to run far when you start vomiting.
    
13. Not all criminals are bad people, just most of them…(but that doesn't mean they can't be helped).
    
14. Telling someone over and over that they can't have sex with an 8 year old when they are 55 and they still don't get it…write a letter to the court explaining incompetency and suggest they be locked away for the rest of their life…and pray the judge sees it the same way.
    
15. We (tax payers) spend too much of our damn hard earned money on making it comfortable for individuals who have decided to go against the laws of our society.
    
16. Correctional officers are sometimes more incompetent than the inmates they supervise.
    
17. "Pet calling" is absolutely unnecessary and I will write your ass up in a heart beat for it.
    
18. "Fuck" is just another word.
    
19. "Hey girl…how you doin..are you my lawyer?"…makes me bite my tongue and wish I could say, "get a f***ing life and do not speak to me again" but instead politely say, "No sir, I am a social worker, not a lawyer and I don't think I'm here to see you".
    
20. That it could snow outside in September, and you would never know; there are no windows.
    
21. That sex abuse of a minor and murder cases would be my dinner table conversation with my husband each night.
    
22. CIU (Crisis Intervention Unit) is like a different world..(my favorite unit though)..you NEVER know what you'll see…and then you can't help but stare.
    

23. That inmates will do anything for you to be their social worker

I'm sure there are MANY more, but these are the ones that I came up with just off the top of my head…