When you thought I wasn't looking....

Some of you may know, who know my family and I in real life, that my mom has owned and directed a day care center for almost 28 years. And after a long 28 years of taking care of hundreds of children, she finally felt it was time to do something else. In turn, pretty much all of her center's stuff as made it's way to my house, which we are very appreciative of. In among many papers, files and tools on early childhood development, I found a lot of great things, including this poem that really hit home for me as a parent. I wanted to share because it is so true. Our children, no matter what age, always are looking to their parents, whether we, as parents know it or not.

This poem had no author on the page I found it on, as it was handed out at a class my mom went to. It was written by a child.

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When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who don't.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I felt you kiss me good night and I felt loved and safe.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned we have to take care of what we are given.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities even when you didn't feel good and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything I could be.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking, I looked at you and wanted to say, "thanks for all the  things I saw, when you thought I wasn't looking."

Patience

The other day, I took the girls to the free-play area at the local mall and of course I had questions coming at me from every direction. 

This one young girl with a little girls (maybe like 18 months or so) asked me if I am always this patient with my girls.

The question kinda took me back. Me, patient? Not something I can say is my strong point. Not something I can say was ever a strong point of mine. Just ask my parents, or my husband. Even my best friend. Patience is not something any one would say I had. 

I thought infertility took any bit of patience I ever had out of me, but I was wrong. When Dr. Stillman said, "there are THREE heartbeats," I knew I was going to need A LOT of patience. When I got pregnant with Emily I knew I needed more patience and now getting ready for our fifth miracle daughter in 2.5 years, I know I will need more patience. I know I will need a lot of patience while mothering five daughters. To be honest, I don't even know how much patience it will take, but it's going to take a lot.

Patience isn't something you're born with, obviously. It's a total learned behavior and I think I have learned how to have a lot of patience over the last two years. I have had to. There was no choice. There is no choice.

And that's what I said to the young mother. There isn't a choice to not be patient. They are only two years old. They are learning and trying to understand the world around them. I would be really doing them a dishonor if I didn't have any patience with them while trying to teach them to have patience with the world around them, each other and their Momma and Daddy.

I have to be patient just as much and I am teaching them how to "wait your turn" and "you have to be patient, it's cooking". 

And at two years old, they are starting to learn, right along with me.

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Another question from another mom who had two little ones that were 13 months apart, asked me, how I do it? Ya know, that question I get a lot. And there really isn't a clear answer anymore. I just do. I have to. As with patience, there isn't a choice not to.

And so I told that mom that I try not to make excuses that we can't do something or that we won't do something just because we have a young large family. It may take us longer and we may do it in a different way, but we will do it. We will make at least an effort to always try. We've always said that and we always will stand behind that.

Again, what would I be teaching my little girls if one day I said that their Daddy and I didn't even try? We will always try, and we will always set a good example. No excuses.

And so there I was, in the middle of the mall, visiting with friends and their kids on a regular weekday. I packed all my four up by myself; made and packed their lunches, got them all dressed and did their hair, filled water cups, got them in the car, got the 4 seater choo-choo wagon in the car and I managed to do it, all by myself. No excuses. Is it a lot of work? OMG, yes it is. And many times I do ask myself, why did I even bother? But really why wouldn't I bother? Of course, I would do anything for them and give them any experience and opportunity that any one child has. No excuses.

Was I exhausted by the time I got home? OF COURSE. Every bone and muscle in my body hurts at 30+ weeks pregnant. But I don't care. It's not about me. I do it for my girls, and I always will. 

Last year all summer I took them to the park by myself every single week, and this summer will be no different. Again, it just takes a little lot of patience. But they are worth every moment and they deserve no less.

I take pride in the fact that most of the time it's just me and them, and I do it all. Most of the time. I am proud of that. I am proud of not making excuses and having the patience to do so.

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Another quick mention. This young lady walked by us while I was pulling the girls around the mall and she looked back and said, "do you know just how many smiles you must put on people's faces? How can anyone look at them and just not smile so big!? They are precious!" SERIOUSLY, IT MADE MY DAY! People can be so rude at times and other times, my heart literally bursts open with thankfulness.