Update

I have been meaning to update for awhile now and with no success. Life is just so busy. The girls are crazy and I NEVER have a minute to breath, let alone sit down for a child-free minute to myself. Ha. 

So, I'll just start with a few things:

1. The girls are all good. They drive me crazy and honestly some days I think they are going to be the death of me! The are talking non-stop and I can barely keep up! They are getting bored with things and then fight with each other, which in turns makes everything much worse. I can't come up with enough stuff to keep them busy and still get things done and make the household run. It just never ends and it's such a struggle to balance it all and trust me, I try. I think I have a pretty good handle on things because I am so OCD, but when it all catches up with me...I sink quickly!

We have gone to the county fair, the cabin last weekend, the farm/pumpkin patch and I haven't blogged or uploaded photos of anything. Yesterday, I finally took the photos off of my camera and there were 365! Phew...so I am slowly going through them, editing and uploading to them to post. Stay tuned, I promise they will all be posted before my surgery.

2. My surgery is one week away (more on that in a min). Tim and I have been preparing in so many ways. We've been doing major clean outs and it's so nice! I love getting rid of junk that just piles up...and then it becomes such a pain, so you just shut the door, ect...(please tell me I'm not alone...)! We loaded up a truck full of junk that went straight to the dump on Saturday and boy was it needed. Tim steam cleaned and mowed the grass, got all the leaves up (the girls loved helping rake leaves!) and we have started getting all of our fall stuff up. I still have some meals to prepare and freeze, more cleaning to do, grocery shopping to do, meal plans for the kids, schedule updating/printing for our "helpers" to read....ugh, it never ends. I need to keep going...

3. Not to mention, if things weren't crazy enough, I am doing all of my tot-swap stuff so that my friend can pick up all my stuff next week. It starts the day of my surgery and to be honest, I can't afford to miss it. I need the money, and I need all this stuff gone and out of my house. I collect stuff for 6 months and I can't miss it or I will have twice as much next time and that just isn't okay! With five girls and all the clothes and toys, it's like a job to keep up with it all, I swear! Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in clothes, toys, stuffed animals...I am so thankful for my friend who is helping me out and taking all of my stuff for me!

4. And the surgery of course has been on my mind. It's getting closer and on Wednesday I go for my pre-op. I have to go all the way to that hospital that I am having the surgery at for it, which kinda sucks but I'll take the 1.5 hour quiet time in the car, alone! :) My surgery nurse called me last week and we started talking for awhile. (I was going on and on, contemplating having the surgery, telling her my fears...I have five little kids...blah, blah, blah...and she basically put it all in perspective for me.) She said I cannot wait any longer for the cancer will get worse. Of course I know that, but it still scary. She gave me my actual diagnosis of Stage 0 Cervical Cancer. So of course, that was a little shocking and it's been hard for that to set in. The doctor did give me the "technical" term but he didn't put it bluntly like that, other than saying something needed to be done "right away". She explained to me that I have a chance of having a higher stage after biopsies are done after the surgery, and then we go from there, then. As always, it's a waiting game. But to say I am not a little scared is an understatement. I have so much to prepare and get done and really I have no clue how my household is going to manage without me. Seriously...I know it may not sound like it's a big deal, but IT IS! I've learned that I can only depend on me and what I do...so being out of commission...I'm not good at it and it freaks me out! It's all becoming a bit much and today I was ready to melt down. UGH! One day at a time...one day at a time....I just have to keep telling myself that it will all work out, but really, how?! UGHHH! 

Sorry for the rant...it's been one of THOSE days. I'm eating a bunch of chocolate chip cookies, watching the news and hopefully will be able to fall asleep!