Surgery Details/Recovery/Pathology Report

---This first part I wrote the day after my surgery, October 10th. ---

First of all, thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the comments, emails, thoughts, prayers, texts in the past few days...I truly, truly appreciate it!

I am out of the hospital and recovering at my parent's house. I had thought about coming to my parent's house to recover and then decided against it and to just go home and be with my family. Well considering how bad I've been, it was very nice to come to my parent's house to recover for a few days. I plan on going home tomorrow (Sat), although I wish I could stay here for a week. Okay, maybe not really, I do miss my girls but gosh it's so quiet, and peaceful here. I'm in my old room, in my old bed. It's like I'm fifteen again, although they're are no *NSYNC posters on the walls. ;) I must say it's been really nice. My mom and dad are spoiling me and taking very good care of me.

So here's what's been going on the past few days.

They changed my surgery time from 10:30am to 12:30pm, so it was nice not to have to leave until after the girl's woke up in the morning. Monday and Tuesday I was very busy getting everything ready. Tuesday I had my "bowel prep" and was on a liquid diet. It was horrible. I had to drink TWO 10 ounce bottle of magnesium citrate. All I can say is HOLY HELL that was the worst stuff on the entire planet. It was like drinking  acid, burned my mouth and throat. So I never went to bed on Tuesday night. I was WIDE awake all night and mostly just got stuff done around the house and then decided to go grocery shopping at 4am. I must say Walmart was interesting at that hour. No one was there and all the shelves were neatly stocked. I felt like I was in the twilight zone a little bit. Kinda weird with no one in the store. But I got all my shopping done and came home, cleaned some more and anxiously waited around.

I had one of our NICU nurses, and now a very good friend of mine watch the girls for us during the day of the surgery. I can't explain how wonderful it is to know, without a doubt that your children are in good hands. How peaceful it makes your heart. Not just anyone can take on five little girls!! I am so thankful for Stephanie in so many ways! She is such a blessing!

The hospital is about 1.5 hours away, so my mom met us and followed us over. The nurses got me settled in and started prepping me. When they were doing my IV, the nurse said that she actually had to do two IV's because I was having "robotic" surgery, which I did not know. Of course my heart started racing a little bit and I got a little more nervous. The nurses were so sweet though, I must say. They found this other nurse and called her over. She had the "robotic" surgery last year and said it was great. It is less invasive and faster than if it's done "by hand". Interesting to say the least. They said the surgery would be 3-4 hours. My wonderful husband kept asking "but what if the robot gets a mind of it's own and takes out your liver instead, or your heart, or"... Supportive, I tell ya! He is always good at making me laugh, but he takes it to the extreme. God love him. And then the waiting began. And we waited. And waited. 12:30pm came and went. 1:00pm, 2:00pm. Finally I was moved to the place you go right before you go to the OR, and a lot of people came in and went out. The doctor walked in and I have to say he was very nice. Much nicer than in the past. He actually put me at ease. We talked about all the possibilities and such. What he would do if he needed to take the ovaries. What he would do if he came across cancer. What he would do if he came across endometriosis. All the possibilities.

So finally they wheeled my bed to right outside of the OR. I said my final good-byes to Tim and my mom and in the OR I went. It was a pretty big OR and it was freezing of course. The anesthesiologist was a young girl and she was nice. I laid down and started talking to her. Of course it had spread through the hospital at the speed of a hurricane that I had triplets plus two more and all the ladies were asking me questions. The usual, "how do you do it?"...so we all just laughed and within a minute that was it. The next thing I remember is waking up. I don't even remember closing my eyes. The very last thing I remember was someone setting something up on the left side of my body. That was it.

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was the clock and I instantly felt a lot of pain. I was barely able to open my eyes and my throat hurt a lot from the breathing tube. The nurses kept telling me to wake up and open my eyes. I then heard one of them ask if I was getting admitted and then someone said that they would ask the doctor. A few seconds later that same nurse said that I was in fact staying. So I closed my eyes and figured there is no reason to stay awake. I was tired. The nurses didn't like that. Then I heard the phone ring and the nurse said that they were having trouble keeping me awake. I opened my eyes and said, "I'm not surprised that's my mom on the phone..." They said my mom and Tim could come back and see me. By this time is was about 8:30pm at night. I couldn't believe how late it was and that I was in surgery and recovery for so long. My mom and Tim showed me all the photos that were taken of my organs and told me that my ovaries were saved (I must say, my uterus looked really nice for having 3 pregnancies in 2.5 years and carrying triplets for 32 weeks!! I have been pregnant for 109 weeks and 1 day which equals 2 years, 1 month, 1 week and 1 day, so that uterus has had it's share of work! I think it deserved an award!). I was very glad to hear that and know that I was not going into menopause at 27 years old! Tim stayed for a little bit and then he decided he should go home and relieve his mom of the girls. My mom was going to stay with me at the hospital and bring me home the next day.

After I kept complaining of pain and so they decided to give me morphine instead of dulatid. I had to push the damn button EVERY 10 minutes around the clock and let me just say, I pushed that button EVERY ten minutes until 9AM, and yes, that means I didn't sleep at all! BUT, a lot happened between then and 9AM! And the worst was yet to come.

I was moved to my room, a nice and big private room in the new section of the hospital by 9:15PM. I don't even remember the ride in my bed. I was still complaining of being in a lot of pain so the nurse said they would give me Toradol. Like that same drug I had right after Anna was born. That same drug that made me go out of my mind itching. BUT, since numerous doctors and nurses told me that I was having a reaction from the SPINAL, I thought it was no big deal to get the pain medication. Well, let me tell you, I was WRONG. VERY WRONG! I watched that medication go into my IV and within minutes I was having a severe allergic reaction again. Oh my word. So from about 10:00PM on I was out of my mind in pain from itching. I never went to sleep. I cried. I begged. I pleaded with anyone to help me. I wanted relief. I couldn't get anyone to listen to me. Finally around 5AM when I had been pulling my hair out for an hour (for real!) and scratching my eye balls, my mom practically lit a fire under the nurses butts to get me some help! I had broken a plastic spoon in half and was using the sharp (broken) edge to scratch my skin. Seriously, I was out of my mind and would have done anything for relief. I pushed that damn button for that morphine every ten minutes. I was itching every part of my body. The inside of my nose, my eye balls, my ears, my head...EVERYWHERE! It was miserable. I was SO tried. My eyes were swollen shut and so red that I could barely open them. All I could do was cry. My phone kept ringing and I couldn't even bear to talk to anyone for more than a minute. I was miserable. Just absolute miserable.

I had the blood clot things on both my legs. I had a catheter in so I couldn't barely move. Not to mention the pain from having four incisions that are two inches long and your guts ripped out from your vagina. Sorry, I know that's a little detailed but it's reality. I was a mess. I kept telling my mom that I am stronger than this. That I couldn't believe I was such a mess. That I was in so much pain. I had triplets for goodness sake. I have had endometriosis. I have had surgeries, IFV, 3 pregnancies...I can do pain, but this was different. This kicked my butt. I couldn't believe how much it was kicking my butt!

The nurses kept asking me what they could do for me. I must say, after so long and being SO tired, I was a different person and I wasn't very nice. I was so frustrated  I was just SO done! Like I said, my eyes were swollen shut and puss was leaking out of them. That was painful. The itching continued. By 9AM, my morphine was gone and I was back to dulatid. It was no way as good as morphine, but I didn't care. The pain was the least of my worries. The itching was what I needed to stop. They took the blood clot things off. They took the catheter out after I begged them. But then it's so hard to pee. You just can't find your bladder. I tried to pee for an hour. Finally after awhile, I made some progress. I was seriously a mess. Finally around lunchtime, I was able to be discharged. I decided before we left the hospital that there was NO way that I could go home. Absolutely no way! I was still itching out of my mind but it was getting a little better as each hour passed. My eyes were seriously so infected from all my itching that they were so swollen and leaking. It was nasty. I could barely move or stand up. 

I got to my parent's house and I don't think I was in the house for more than ten minutes before I was in the shower. It felt so good to get clean and it helped the itching so much. I literally dried my hair, ate some Chinese food and went to bed. And that's where I stayed for two days. I woke up to eat, use the bathroom and take medication. My dad stayed home on Friday to take care of me, which was wonderful. One of my good friends visited me on Friday night too, which was great but I'm sure I looked like a hot mess. Oh well. And the only other thing I did (my dad of course drove me) was go to the eye doctor in town to make sure my eye balls weren't going to fall out. Basically the eye doctor told me that I just had a severe reaction to the medication but that my eyes were not scratched or infected. He gave me two different drops and said they should improve. He was so nice and I was so glad to know that my eyes were okay.

I stayed at my parent's house until Saturday evening. I should have stayed until Sunday but I was guilted into coming home. It's not that I didn't miss my girl's and Tim, but I was in no shape to do anything. It was nice to get home in a sense but it was also overwhelming. I couldn't even raise my voice or it hurt. 

I had help with the girls for the first week, but by the following Thursday, I was back to being on my own. I took it slow (as slow as you can with five kids!) but I got better and better as each day passed. I am glad we had some meals brought to us and that I prepared things before surgery which made things easier. My stamina definitely took a while to come back.

UPDATE AS OF NOVEMBER 6th:

I have been feeling pretty good. Compared to the first few days after surgery, I feel great! The past two weeks I have had a few setbacks, but nothing too bad. My four incisions are all healed and look fine. I really didn't care much, since my entire belly is covered in scars from babies and previous surgeries. I had a little bit of leaking from one of the incisions but it finally is healing and closing up. The pain is finally subsiding. I do have some lingering pain above my belly button, but I am guessing that is from the scar tissue and the fact that I am still healing. I forget that it hasn't been that long. 

I went for my follow-up last week and received the results from the pathologist. I was so nervous and prepared myself for the worse. Although, I figured the doctor would have called if there was cancer present. So, I was super glad that I got the wonderful news that it was nothing past stage 0. Praise Jesus! What a blessing that was to hear. SO now I don't go back until the middle of December when I will be totally cleared! 

I must say it is really nice to know that there is NO way I will ever be pregnant again. It's still weird to think that because I am only 27 years old, but it will be nice never to have a period ever again! Whahoo! It's crazy to think that chapter of my life is already over, but then again, it was meant to be. To think if I had never gotten pregnant with Anna, I may have been sitting here writing that I have a much higher stage of cancer. It would have been awhile until I had another pap smear and things may have been very different by then. All of my children have been miracles, and I am thankful for each of them. Anna could have very well saved my life and saved her and her sisters a lifetime with their mother.

I am very happy all of this is behind me and there is nothing to be worried about. It seems like everything went so slow waiting to have it done, but now it doesn't seem like that at all. I am glad it is all over. Once again, thank you for all the thoughts, prayers, texts, emails and everything. I truly appreciate it!

Hysterectomy

I know it's been awhile since I've updated about my hysterectomy/cancer issues. So, here goes:

I went to the oncologist on September 3rd to talk over my results of my colposcopy and biopsies.  He said something for sure needs to be done, and done very soon. He suggested I either do the hysterectomy or a cone biopsy. I asked him about what I've read regarding having a cone biopsy and then it being much harder to detect cancer in the future and he said for sure it is MUCH harder to detect cancer after a cone biopsy. He stated that if I was to get cancer after a cone biopsy, it is likely not caught until very late. That sealed the deal for me. I have too much life ahead of me to still worry about it, even after having a procedure done. TAKE IT OUT! So, he agreed too, if that was my wishes, that it would be best. 

We talked for a few minutes regarding the surgery and what it entails. He said of course their is a risk in hitting my bladder because I have had two c-sections and two laparoscopies, but that there are risks in every surgery. Duh, thanks for the reassurance doc! He said he can in fact try to do a laparoscopic assisted vaginal hysterectomy, but he won't know for sure until he's in the OR. 

Everything will be biopsied and examined once it's out of me to make sure there is NO cancer anywhere, and if there is, we go from there, then. He said there is always a chance that they miss the cancer cells on the colposcopies, so we just have to wait and see. 

As for now, they will take my cervix, uterus and tubes, hopefully leaving my ovaries. I talked to him about how Dr. R (who delivered Emily and Anna) said that he saw endometriosis in me during my c-section., which still blows my mind considering how easy we got pregnant with Em and Anna. I asked if he could look around and examine the area and make a determination if my ovaries needed to come out or anything else needed to be done while he was in there and he said he would. That made me feel really good. I don't have time to have another surgery to get rid of endometriosis and since I am still going to have my ovaries and therefor still have hormones, endometriosis can still grow and cause me problems! Errrr.

So my surgery has been scheduled for October 9th, 2013 at 10:30am. I have to be there at 8:30am and the hospital that I have to go to is two hours away. I am not looking forward to the day before "prep" if ya know what I mean. Blah. So, that should be a fun start, liquid diet and living in the bathroom all day before. Blah. I will be in the hospital for 1-2 days providing everything goes to plan, even though my instructions say 3-6 days. Then I hope to go to my parent's house for a few days to recover and stay in bed. Isn't exactly the vacation I was looking for. I can't do stairs but once a day for the first week and no driving for 3-4 weeks!! The nurse was very firm with me that this is major internal surgery and not like a c-section. She said I must have help and take it easy! I almost died of laughter and then told her I have five little girls, 2.5 years and younger. Must have help? Riiiiight..does this lady know who I am??

So....with a month to go, I am going to make lots of meals, try to plan some help for me and the girls, get everything together....and hope for the best.  I am going to miss the girls so much but I try to not think about it too much right now. I know this month will go so fast. I have to remember that this is the best option for me, right now and I need to be healthy for my girls and my husband. I want to live a long, happy life that does not involve cancer, so I am going to do whatever I have to do to make sure of it. I am definitely scared. It's totally different having surgery when you have children that need you. I'm Momma and we all know, no one can do it like Momma. I hate being a burden to anyone and asking for help just isn't what I like to do. I don't want to depend on other people to help me and my family. I just hate that, but I know this time I am really going to need help in so many ways.

I have 28 days left. Good gracious. I have a lot to do to prepare! Thank you for all those that have been keeping me and my family in your thoughts and prayers, it is appreciated so much. 

Yay! Natalee is HOME again!

So happy....we have brought our little string bean home from the NICU again. 

We couldn't be happier to have all of our family back under the same roof again!

She is doing good and drinking all her bottle in just a few minutes, all 60ccs! We are hoping that her incision continues to heal and her infection is gone for good! I have learned how to care for her wound and keep it perfectly clean at all times. She is now 4lbs 5oz, but the strongest 4lbs I have ever known! I'm sure now that she can eat and digest the proper way, she will be catching up to her sisters in no time! No more wires, no more picc lines, no more IVs, no more beeping...no more anything but love and kisses from Mommy, Daddy and everyone else who loves her!

Thank you for your continued prayers to help heal our sweet girl!

Favorite Fridays - The Strongest Girl I Know!

So in love with this strong little girl...

Update on Natalee - Surgery Results

It was really hard to see Natalee this morning, I immediately lost it when I saw her. We got to spend a few minutes with her and give her some kisses before they put the ventilator down. I was so scared. I did not know how to be strong for her because I couldn't even find it to be strong for myself. I have learned a lot today. I know I am stronger than I thought.

Tim and I were there of course, my mom, my best friend, Kim and my mom's best friend, Ann. Tim's mom was staying with the other girls at home, and it was so nice to know that they were being taken care of and I didn't have to worry.

We met with the surgeon, Dr. Stafford, who was absolutely so sweet. He was so smart and answered all of our questions. He really made me feel at ease. He said that he was 100% sure that this was a complication of having NEC and that it was really common after having NEC. I was so glad to hear that it wasn't something completely different and a new issue. He said as soon as he saw the x-rays from yesterday he was pretty sure that he knew what was going on and where he would need to look. He said he would examine every part of her abdomen. I was so glad. He showed us where he would cut her and said he is very conscious about where he cuts little girls because one day they will want to wear a bikini. I can't tell you how much that meant to me, it showed how sweet his character is, that he would think of that and I thanked him so much. It was one of the first things that I thought about. One day she will be a thirteen year old girl and I never want her to be ashamed of her scar. Just the fact that it would cross his mind, is just so nice. He said he has daughters of his own and would want someone to care for them the same way. Sweet, sweet man, I knew God sent him just for my daughter.

The anesthesiologist was so sweet too. He had twins in the NICU a few years ago. Also, Natalee had one nurse for her all day and I was so glad it was Terri. She is so sweet and takes wonderful care of Natalee. She stayed by her side throughout the whole surgery and will have Natalee for the next three days. I love when the nurses stay the same for a few days. Everyone of the nurses in the NICU are unbelievable. They are truly angels sent from above.

It was hard to say good-bye to Nat, but it was more of a c-ya later. I knew she was going to pull through just fine. It was much harder to see her first thing in the morning than it was to say c-ya later.

Half way through the surgery, Terri came out and told us that Dr. Stafford found a place of about 5-6 srictures all in the same place, about 8 centimeters worth in the small intestines. She said he was about to start cutting out and placing the intestines back together, with no bag. She was doing just fine. Wonderful news.

About another hour, the doctor came out and said everything was done and he was really pleased how everything came out. He said everything above the area taken out looked great and everything below the area looked great too. He took out 14 centimeters total. He tried to take out her appendix but couldn't get to it safely.

We headed right up to the NICU and I went right in to see her. She looked great. She was super, super warm and the incision looked really great. I was so impressed. It looked like a paper-cut; no blood, just glued together, barely even red.

The Nurse Practitioner and Terri tried to put in a picc line again but they were unsuccessful. They will try again tomorrow and we will pray they can get it.

So, tonight Natalee is doing good. She is stable. Her levels all look good. She might get some more blood tomorrow, but we just have to wait and see what her blood level show in the morning. She will also stay on the antibiotics for a few more days just to prevent infection. So the next step is waiting to see when she will stool and then food can start to be introduced again.

I could not be more proud of my little girl. She is so strong and such a fighter. I look at her, her sweet little body and I wonder how can something so small be so strong. My only feeling is that God is holding her with every breath she takes. How else could she do being doing it? She is so strong and I am sure she has a purpose higher than we know for being on this earth. She is going to great things.

Thank you Jesus for keeping my little girl safe and giving her strength above anything I could have ever imagined. I am so grateful and thankful. Thank you to all those who have been praying for our family, whether we know you or not, your thoughts and prayers are SO appreciated. The power of pray is beyond our imagination.