9 FUTURE BABIES!!!!!

I just got the call from Nurse My Favorite and she said, "You have VERY good quality eggs and even BETTER looking embryos developing. Out of the 12 eggs, 9 have fertilized on their own and are growing perfectly!" She continued, to say that she was sorry again for not being there and asked how I was feeling. She also said that we are looking at a Day 5 transfer most likely!! Whaahoooo, praying for these babies big time. It's so amazing to think of my eggs with Tim's sperm are finally together at last! Unbelievable and such a miracle!! We are so excited!

A DOZEN EGGS!

Yesterday I went in for the egg "laying" or retrieval. I was put in the room for prepping at 11:45. I changed into the lovely get-up they give you and then my IV was started. I was finished with the prep at 12:15, so we had a whole hour to wait. ONE WHOLE HOUR. I was soooo hungry!!!!! And I was bored and Tim was being childish and doing things that the nurses I'm sure wouldn't like, for example, taking the break off of the gurney and wheeling me around in the room, touching the oxygen masks and wires all around, and then asking if I could scoot over so he could lay with me and take a nap. I won't go into the other obnoxious things he was doing but all in all, he was making me laugh so hard and totally took my mind off things so I guess I should be thankful to have such a fun and crazy husband; at times.

Terrible quality I know, taking with my Blackberry, but oh well.

My IV

The Dr. came in and I was pissed because I didn't want him to be the one to do it. He is a newer doctor there, and at the location I go to, the four most experienced, older, more wise, founders of the practice, and best work there, and I was stuck with the newbie. Pulease. I was pissed but never-the-less I smiled and was very nice. Immediately after he left, Tim googled his name and read me his info from the Shady Grove Fertility Clinic website and I was very surprised. He was quite a great candidate and I felt horrible for judging his expertise. Yes, he didn't go to Georgetown, Harvard and Duke, like my doctor wonderful, but he still has quite a lot of experience.

I peed about 3 times before I went in (I am so freaked out that I will pee during the procedure, I know, I know I AM weird!). They walked me in and I sat down on the table. I didn't even want to look around. When I sat down the anesthesiologist shot something in my IV and placed his hand on my left shoulder and then the embryologist came in, who's name was Kim (just like my BFF) and she asked me what my name was and my social security number, which I was already feeling quite woozy and I gave my name and my birthday (I'm so used to that combination of the two because in every appointment for monitoring that's what they ask you, so without thinking that's what I said) and since I couldn't think, I looked at the paper and said, "yeah that's it". And that is all I remember.

"Wake up, Holly, you are in the recovery room"...wow, it's already over. I didn't even get a chance to lay on the beach in Aruba like I wanted, I thought. Boo.

Tim came in and started saying my name and I couldn't even think of wanting to open my eyes and talk. I was so sleepy. The nurse said, "oh you have been out for little longer than normal, it's ok". My mind was obviously working because I thought, and why?? I honestly, didn't really care, I just said I was in pain and feeling nausea. She came in a gave me meds and a heating pad, which helped. She stayed with me for a while and also stayed while Tim went downstairs to pick up my pain meds. (A quick side note...my pain meds, 10 Oxcycodones, we paid $2.47. My experience of working with inmates and individuals addicted to drugs, these little pills could go for A LOT on the street...oh the money I could make...and no I am not that stupid, it's just funny, because not many people know what I know from working in a jail.)

The doctor came in and said that we had A DOZEN EGGS! I was ecstatic, even though I figured we would have that many because I have had that many everyday.

Anyway, I made it to the car and we went home. Our parking lot in front of our house is being paved, so I had to walk awhile to get to our house, which was not good, along with all the men working in front of my house were watching me stumble to my house. Lovely, oh well.

For the rest of the day, I layed on the couch and watched TV. Since my procedure was so late in the day, I didn't want to come home and sleep and not be able to sleep any at night, so I ate (because I was still starving from almost 24 of no food), and ate some more, showered and then had a brownie sundae, took pain pills and went to bed. Oh, and my mommy came over and brought me a beautiful gerber daisy! I was asleep by 7:00pm and woke up many times during the night from the pain. Peeing is the worse, it hurts so bad. I just kept taking Tylenol and keeping the heating pad on my tummy.

Today I am relaxing and going to take a nap of course. I can't wait to hear how my babies are doing and how they are growing. I should know later this afternoon.

Trigger Shot

Early this morning, we set our alarm for 1:10 am so that we would have enough time to prepare the shot and ice my tushy. I got it ready and Tim got the ice and then I got really nervous. I just didn't know how it was going to feel and I was worried that it would hurt like the Menopur did. I told Tim I was scared and he knew I was. We said a quick prayer and I rolled over and said DO IT! It didn't hardly hurt. Just a little, and I was surprised. I looked at the syringe and it was really all in me, so I was happy! I put the heating pad on it and Georgie came and layed on me while I thanked God for that going so smoothly. Went back to bed and this morning my tushy is a little sore at the injection site. Apparently it bled some during the night which I was surprised, but no bruising, just a sore area.

My Nurse called also this morning, since she was off all weekend and she was all happy and giddy knowing that we triggered, and I thought it was so nice that she called. She asked how graduation went and said that she was sorry but tomorrow is a planned day off for her so she won't be there for the surgery. Oh well. I still thought it was nice that she called, because to be honest I was sad that she wasn't the one giving me all of my instructions yesterday, but oh well.

I made my fruit salad, which I plan on eating for the rest of the week if I can keep Tim's hands off of it. Also, I made some brownies...at Tim's request. He said that if I get what I want, he wants something too, so he picked brownies, which I was of course fine with!

I'm sitting here watching Make Room for Multiples on TLC, and the couple got pregnant with triplets on their first IVF! Oh twins, I dream about, but triplets, I pray that God knows what I can handle. LOL.

Tomorrow Tim will go to work for the morning and then be home around 11:00am to take me in by 11:45. The surgery is set for 1:45pm. This morning my mom said "tomorrow is the day you lay your eggs"...and I almost died. When my sister and I were little she would joke about how we were born, saying, "I layed an egg and we cracked it open and watched you hatch", we were so gullable that we bought it for the longest time. So, this morning I almost died of laughter when she said that.

So, tomorrow, yes, I will be laying my eggs.

Brad Paisley Concert, ONE YEAR Anniversary and Update on Cycle

Yesterday started out like many other this week...a monitoring appointment. We we're up early and got an early start...must have been all that sleep the day before. Ha.

We left around 2:00pm for the Brad Paisley concert, since we wanted to get something to eat before hand, since food there is SO expensive and it takes about an hour to get to Nissan/Jiffy Lube Live. I was feeling kinda nauseous so I just told Tim to pick something cheap and quick and I would try to stomach the idea of it, if possible. He picked Burger King. Not exactly what I had in mind but whatever. We got some burgers and made it to the pavilion. We ate in the car and it started pouring. It was hilarious to watch all the "children" running around in the rain as they were trying to put food away and cover up things in their tailgate area. I say "children" because most of them were probably between the age of 15 to 23 years old, DRUNK, obnoxious, ignorant and apparently irresponsible. Tim said, "oh, they're just having a good ole time, leave them alone"..I thought obnoxious and we discussed the fact that our children will never go to a concert alone until they are our age. I never acted like that and I would be appalled if my children ever did. These "children" just think it's so cool to walk around wet, covered in mud and with their big-gulp cup with beer in it (to cover it up of course, news flash....cops DO know what's in there!!).

After we ate and the rain slowed down a little bit we gathered everything and started to make the LONG walk to the pavilion. We made it about half way and I realized that I didn't have the tickets. Lovely. We turned around and went back to the car to get them. Tim was just a little mad...not at me, just that we had to walk all the way back and get them in the rain. But we did and turned around and walked all the way to the pavilion, through the drunk fest of "children". There were a few even wilder "children" that were getting citations, which I thought was funny, and the highlight of the walk over there. We went to go in, and the guy checked my bag and asked, "is that a professional camera"? I said no, and he asked if the lens comes off and I said yes. He then proceeded to tell me that "professional cameras" were not allowed. I looked at him, and said "Are you kidding me, I am far from a professional photographer. I am in the freakin' fifth row to see one of my favorite artists and you are telling me that I will now not be able to have a camera?????"1 I was LIVID. He said sorry and said I would have to take it back to my car. That meant walk ALL the way back to the car, in the rain and mud and back AGAIN. What??? I was soooo mad. I cursed at myself for not bringing my other camera/less professional camera for a just in case scenario such as this one. I never thought this would happen. I pouted the whole way and through the night, especially later on when I saw other people with detachable lens camera taking plenty of photos! UGH!

We made it in and went to go sit in the pavilion and the security guard informed us that no one could get in until 6:30pm and it was only 5:15pm. That meant standing in the rain for one hour and fifteen minutes. We stood under a tree with our umbrellas and other people waiting. It was miserable. Finally they decided since it was raining so hard that they would let people in at 6:00pm. Amen. Our seats were so awesome! I was psyched that they were only $45 bucks and we were in the 5th row! People around us said they had paid $150 bucks per seat and wondered how we got such a deal. I said, well thanks to Citi Card, I got a great deal!

We watched Justin Moore, which was really good. he sings some great country songs and reminds me a lot of Jason Aldean, which we love too.

Tim couldn't relax until it was time to take my injections. You know we swore that we would not let IVF control our lives and let us stop living and this was a perfect situation. Saturday morning, I called Nissan and informed them that I was coming to the concert and needed to take some injections at 8pm and if the First Aide area would be available to use and they said no problem. I brought my prescription, my doctors name and number, my ID, and everything I needed. Finally, we went over to First Aid, which was right next to where you would go if you were arrested or too drunk to function...it was so funny listening to all the people there from inside First Aid trailer. The nurses were so funny and they were like, oh this is nothing! Tim gave me the iinjections and we were back in our seats right at the start of Darius Rucker.

Brad was wonderful, as usual. He was so good last year and again this year he didn't let anyone down. He was so close to us, I like almost got emotional. I blame that on the meds. Everyday, I swear I fight back tears like 3-5 times, since these meds.

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We made it out of there and we're home by 1:30am. The alarm went off way too early at 7:00am and Tim was less than thrilled to get us and get moving for my Dr.'s appointment. We stumbled out of bed and made it on-time. The doctor and nurse were going back and forth about whether I would be ready to trigger tonight or if I would have to wait another day.  The nurse gave us all the instructions and I asked for her to mark the "X" on my butt to show where Tim was to give me the shot and when she did, she said, "oh you don't have much of a butt, let me get the smaller needle for you guys to use"...AWESOME! So instead of the 1 1/2 inch needle, we will only use the 1 inch. I know that doesn't seem like a lot but when you see a needle that big, an 1 1/2 seems HUGE!!

Ultimately, it would come down to my blood work and what my estrogen showed. On Saturday it was 1800. Today when I got the call from the nurse, it was 3391 and so they were convinced that the other follies would definitely be ready and mature by Tuesday. So, I still have around 12. We will take the Trigger shot tonight/early Monday morning at 1:15am and that makes my retrieval Tuesday at 1:15pm!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!! I am so glad to see the Menopur and Gonl-F done with! I have a nasty bruise on my tummy from them and my Sharps container is FULL to the max. Not bloated at all (which surprised the nurses because I have so many good eggs) but my boobs hurt and the nausea is TERRIBLE! But no complaints here...I hope I am nausea for nine more months! :)

Oh and today is our ONE YEAR anniversary! I cannot believe it has been one year already! I am so happy. Being married to your best friend is the best thing in the world.

Ok, I think I have rambled on enough. Tomorrow, I will update on how the shot went. Going to make a fruit salad and some extra good food to eat while I'm home recovering and then on bed rest.

UMB School of Social Work Graduation!!!!

Today is Graduation Day! We woke up at 4:15am and we made it to Baltimore by 7:00am! So, yes I did figure out what to wear, iron it and and my gown and I made it on-time (I AM ALWAYS on time!!). I was a little stressed when we weren't even on the highway at 6:15am, but I calmed down.

We ate a quick bite to eat and I had to line up almost immediately...I found Kim and we put on our gowns and hats...and officially looked like weird-os! We just laughed at one another because it messes up our hair, makes us look fat and I could help but of thinking that I would have really looked like a wale if I was 8 or 9 months pregnant (when I thought I was so pregnant those first few months, I would have been  BIG in that gown today).

The ceremony was very quick and there were 380 School of Social Work Master's Degree graduates and 3 PHD graduates. One interesting point - our school is in the top 10% of social work schools! Whahoooo! 

I think I was more nervous today then I was walking down the aisle at my wedding! I was so afraid I would trip over the wires everywhere! It was neat that we had to go in a "buddy system" and Kim and I of course were buddies! Normally, they do these things in alphabetical order but they didn't so it was super cool to walk beside each other the whole time. It was like a commencement of our own time together through this whole process for the past six years. Secretly, I loved that.

The did say my name wrong. Stupid Assistant Dean I Can't Read and Pronounce...she said my last name as Guidos instead of Gaydos. I even wrote on the card, "it's pronounced exactly like it's spelled, Gay-dos" but apparently she didn't understand that. Ugh!

We walked across and didn't fall! We got "hooded" and officially became social workers! Now please, I would like my first pay check....

On to pictures and then we went to lunch where I couldn't eat because the nausea is kicking in really bad now, along with the cramping. Then Tim and I came home and took a nap relaxed.

I got so many wonderful and lovely text messages from friends and family that couldn't be here and it means so much to me that you are thinking of me today! Thank you!

In a few minutes we are leaving for softball games, Rita's and then to Kim's party!

So below are a few photos from the day! Enjoy!!!!

Before the ceremony

Here we come...

Best friends FOREVER

Proud Parents

Proud Husband

Roger, Kim, me, Tim

My family

My sister, Christine

All in all it was a wonderful day and I am glad that I decided to go!

Thursday Report

Nurse My Favorite called with my report...estrogen is over 1000...I can't remember the exact number because to be honest, I was napping out of it. I still had 12 follies getting much bigger today! It's so cool to see them everyday! I love it! There's one that is getting very big so they're going to let that one "over mature" and wait for the rest.

She also told me that Dr. Stilman is going to be out of town this weekend and all of next week. So sad about that. I really, really wanted him to be there for either the retrieval or the transfer but she said he might be able to make the transfer if it's next Sunday (as scheduled).

I am really, really tired. Not looking forward to getting up at 4:15 tomorrow to be in Baltimore by 7:00am. Lovely. HOWEVER, it's the last time I will be visiting that horrible city ever again. Give me my degree and goooooooood-bye!  Have not ironed my robe yet. Have not picked out an outfit yet. Have not seen if I can fit into anything. I have my tickets ready though and gas in my car. I'll get it all together. I always do. It's going to be exciting. I never get excited about things I do for myself. I should be excited. I am excited.

Tomorrow is also exciting because it is one year until my best friend, Kim and her fiancee get married! She will also be graduating tomorrow, right next to me! We have gone to school together since Kindergarten and now we are still together, graduating with our Master's! We did every step of the way together and would not have made it through without each other. It's exciting to be done and also kind of bitter-sweet to be done, because it's a chapter of our life together that's ending. Of course we will still have plenty of time together doing other things now..not school work!

So tomorrow should be nice and then I go back Saturday morning for more monitor and then again Sunday! I will keep you all updated!

12 Follies Growing Strong!!!!

Ok, so Nurse My Favorite just called and said my estrogen is perfect so far. On Monday it was 220 and today it is 528. I have (as of this morning) 12 nice and perfect future half babies (half- since they aren't fertilized yet) growing perfectly inside of me! I go back again tomorrow (because of Graduation on Friday) and then again Saturday and Sunday. Nurse My Favorite said she is still expecting my trigger to be Sunday night and retrieval for Tuesday! Pants are still fitting at this point but I'm sure as these babies grow, I will be growing too...

I also asked her about my FSH level, which I assumed that it was fine because she has never mentioned it being a problem during the last year and it's perfect! So happy! I am a 7 on average, which anything under a 10 is good/normal. A lot of the women in my RESOLVE support group have high FSH levels (and none of them have ever been pregnant), so I was really curious about mine, but everything is great! At least it's one less thing to worry about! I'm not used to my body working in normal capacity.

Still hating Menopur though...but the end is near! If all goes well, I should only have 4 more nights of it! :) BIG smile!

Update

Well where to start..it's been over ten days since I blogged last and a lot has happened.

First, I'll start with how the meds are going...I started with 20 IU of Lupron on Friday, May 7th..and other than being really nauseas and having terrible headaches...I was fine. I went in for blood work and sonogram on Friday, May 14th and I was told everything was perfect and we could start the stims! I was beyond excited. We went to Tim's softball game and then when we got home we sat down to figure it all out and we both looked at one another and we're like, wait what do we do..(mind you, we were conscious when we took the Injection Class)...but somehow at 11pm at night after a long day, our brains weren't working...imagine that. But thankfully our clinic gives lots of lovely handouts and educational videos on their website, so we eventually figured it all out. There are 2 shots to be given each night. 150 IU of Gonl-F (which isn't bad at all) and 75 IU of Menopur (which is so PAINFUL, it brings tears to my eyes). So by now, we have a routine and it works great expect the last part when Tim gives me the bigger Menopur shot...I just cringe, it hurts so badly. I think because it's such a large amount of fluid going into my muscle..ugh, no fun! Icing before does help a little and heat and massaging it in after helps a lot. I still am taking 5 IU on Lupron each morning, so it's a total of 3 shots per day, along with all the oral meds. With adding the other two shots, I haven't had any side effects other than headaches and some weird twinges in my ovaries, oh and peeing A LOT..because I guess my ovaries are growing, like they should be!! I got really mad the other day when I posted that I wasn't feeling well on Facebook (I know, ugh, hate Facebook) and someone (pregnant with the same disease I have and knows were doing IVF) said "maybe it's all the crap the doctors put you on"...I literally screamed some choice words and felt like crying. People can be so RUDE and INCONSIDERATE! To call the miracle drugs that will be the only way I will be able to be a mom, crap, ugh, I was ready to punch a wall. I prayed about it and Tim and I talked and I felt much better. I just can't stand people sometimes. Ok, enough of that.

These are my night-time shots.

This is my morning shot.

I went in on Monday for blood work and ultrasound and I have 5 follies growing on one side and 7 on the other. Dr. Not mine, but still Nice, said "it's all about quality not quantity"...yeah, yeah, ok and I thought, "it's my wallet, not yours". I go back tomorrow to be checked again. As of right now, it looks like we will continue the stims and then most likely "trigger" on Sunday night to have the retrieval on Tuesday morning. WOW!

We have a very busy weekend ahead. My Master's Degree graduation from the University of Maryland, Baltimore, School of Social Work is Friday! I am still in denial that I am actually finished and they are really going to give me a Master's Degree!?? Freaks me out still. I don't think it will hit me until the fall, when after 19 years, I will not be going to school. I love it though, my new found freedom is so nice! On Saturday, we have our 5TH ROW concert tickets to see Brad Paisley, Darius Rucker and someone else (ugh, the name slips my mind right now). I LOVE Brad Paisley and he was so amazing last year so this years show I'm sure will be great too! And then Sunday is our one year anniversary. WOW! I cannot believe it has been one year already, it still seems just like yesterday! "Trigger" will be that night and then the whole next week we will be consumed with the retrieval, recovery and the transfer (which looks like the 30th).

Some other things that have happened in the past few days weeks and thus the reason of no blogging (but that doesn't mean I don't read everyone else, because I do!):

1. SIL, Megan and her boyfriend, Julian were in town for 8 days from New Mexico. We miss them so much, so we had some fun times while they were here. We got to spend Mother's Day at PB Dye Golf Course for brunch and then go to Liganore Winery, which was nice. Also, Tuesday evening we had crabs at our house and with my MIL, it was such a fun time!! I took some photos and then they some how got erased...so I don't know what happened there!

2. Tim has officially started back to softball (ok..three weeks ago was the first game) and his team is off to a better start then normal. They haven't one a game yet but let's be serious...the have won ONE game in 3 YEARS. But the game they did win last year, knocked the highest ranked team out of the playoffs...so it was AWESOME! This year they are really scoring a lot of runs so I bet they will win one this yea too! It's still so fun regardless of who wins! All the guys on the team are so nice and I love hanging out with all the wives late into the night on Fridays! We both really enjoy our time! Of course this year, many people came up to me asking why I wasn't pregnant or that they expected me to be wobbling over to the bleachers this year...blah, blah, I know...I said at the last game last year that I would be pregnant when I came back this year so it was kinda a bittersweet day of the first game. I'm over it now.

3. Last night, I had my RESOLVE support group. I LOVE RESOLVE and the women who are in my group. For those of you who don't know what RESOLVE is; it's a support group for women struggling with infertility and it's a blessing in every way! I have blogged about it a few times. We meet once a month and give updates on our cycles, bitch about doctors, infertility, clinics, meds, shots, ignorant people, pregnant 15 yr old...you name it, we complain about it, but it's so nice to get things off your chest. As a social worker, I am a big believer in support groups and therapy so I love it. However, each month I attend, I say this is the LAST month I am going to be able to attend, but somehow, I am always back again, along with everyone else. If it wasn't for RESOLVE, I and/or my sister wouldn't be here. My mom stumbled across a RESOLVE article back in the early 1980's and she contacted them and they got her in touch with Dr. Stillman, who performed many surgeries on my mom and finally after 13 years my parents were able to have me! My mom was the 4th person in the US to receive IVF, but got pregnant the month before they were to start, but Dr. Stillman had been her doctor for about 6 years before me. So having Dr. Stillman as my doctor is so amazing to me! I love him and am so blessed to have him hopefully help us conceive too. It will be a great story to tell our children that without him, none of us would be here!

4. A side note...a few of my friends, some real and some online/blog-related found out they are pregnant. :) Some IVF, some not, but I am HAPPY FOR EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU!!

5. We went strawberry picking on Saturday and had a lot of fun. I have been picking strwberries since I could walk I think, so it's normal that we go every year a few times. This year Tim was eager to come too....don't ask me how that happened, but he came along and we had fun. I just ate them and Tim picked. It was fun though!

He picks....I eat.

Ok, well enough for now..I'm going to go take a nap but I promise I'm going to be keeping up with my blog each day!

Meds for the month...

                                                         Enough said.

Today is IT!!!!

Today is the VERY LAST DAY OF GRAD SCHOOL!!!!!!

 

I will never have to come back to this awful, dirty, noisy city again!!!

 

WHAAAAAHOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

I wrote my last paper for Health and Illness last night and will turn it in this afternoon. It was on the book Heat Wave: A Social Autopsy of Disaster in Chicago, in case you're interested.

    

And my final for my Addictive Personalities class was this morning and was super easy!

 

*** Peace Out ***

 

I can't believe I will be handed my MASTER'S DEGREE in less than three weeks!!!

 

Can you tell I am excited?

 

It's been A LOT of work and a VERY hard and long commute, but at least I had Kim, holding my hand throughout the last six years! I could NOT have done it without her!

 

And Tim is sure glad I'm now done so I can finally get a "real" job, with a "real" paycheck!

 

I'm more looking forward to having only ONE job and getting paid for it; not a full-time school load, two part-time jobs and my free-labor internship.

 

I am SO glad it's OVER today!!!!!!

 

J

Now if only I could get pregnant…